Wikipedia:If Wikipedia is a medical commercial

You probably have known these medicine commercials, making boring drugs and dangerous side effects so beautiful. Poetic descriptions of the drug accompanied by a person walking happily in the sunset and piano tunes in the background for marketing, while stupidly calmly narrate the side effects. As if medicines are like Doritos you could buy for $3.99 at a claustrophobic supermarket with PPE-wearing workers and disinfectant smells as well as cries as the music.

Well, what if Wikipedia is a medical commercial? Just a little side thing, so hope you enjoy.

Here's it

Have you ever felt so lonely and isolated, you feel like it is the end of the world? When something crumbling and distressing occurs, do you feel like you just want to lie on your bed, crying and throwing everything including the college essay you just finished and has to submit tomorrow after 4 months of procrastination? If you do, don't worry: you're not alone. Isolation sucks, and shouldn't be happening to anyone. If you don't, you do.

Well, what if you were told that there is a literal cure to it?

Introducing: the Wikipedihol. Wikipedihol is a psychotic drug that allows you to enter Wikipedia: a free online encyclopedia that you are chosen to edit. There, you will learn all sorts of rules that you can use in your true life, and can thus reduce your isolation effects. It also enables an response system, that as you got lonely, you will come for Wikipedia. So embrace your little quarantine with Wikipedihol.

Please consult a doctor or specialist before taking any doses; you will usually be given a creative dose. Side effects may include but are not limited to: eye sore, relative neglect, time mismanagement, sleep deprivation, lethargy, bad breath, ADHD, Wikititis, psychosis, eating disorder, introvertness, depression, social anxiety disorder, panic attack towards unsourced gossips, tildetitis, upset stomach, color blindness, obsessive compulsive disorder, watchlistitis, polio, mild kyfosis, temperature allergies, dust allergies, blablabla allergies, userboxitis, close-mindedness, pneumonia 5owards misinformation, motor neuron disease, schizophrenia, xenophobia, sore throat, xerostomia, meningitis, hypothermia, blindness, physical disability, heart disease, stroke, severe acute respiratory syndrome, cardiac arrest, death.

Do not consume Wikipedihol while smoking, consuming nicotine, or cannabis. Do not consume apples after 3.30 am unless you have consumed Wikipedihol before. Do not drink fermented liquid to not hyperbole Wikipedihol's effect. Also, stop breathing if there is something wrong in a psychotic episode, in order to bring you back to the real life. This will also be said by the expert prescribing you it.

But don't let that stop you from using Wikipedihol. It has been medically verified, and using it will surely dive you deep into the amazing world in terms of giving knowledge to people. Although nobody will read your words; they'll just check your citations.

Wikipedihol: the dream you'll ever need.

Ending disclaimer that has so many words but is only presented for 0.7 seconds that readers cannot read it

Despite its wonders, Wikipedihol is not for everyone. Consult a doctor or specialist before asking for any doses. If signs of illnesses are present, go to a healthcare center, or if severe, call 911. People taking Wikipedihol have an increased vulnerability to SARS, as part of the ingredients is the SARS virus itself. Social circle preferences may also fluctuate when consuming Wikipedihol. When prescribed Wikipedihol with a trusted, licensed person, you will be singing a death waiver and thus nobody will be responsible for your death except for your parents finding the right coffin for you. If you noticed symptoms in the first 1 hour-- or even less-- increase your dosage, which will make you sicker anyway. Eat only 1 or 2 capsules per day. If you were prescribed the liquid version consume only 500 ml per two days, as liquids are more robust. This product has not been approved by the FDA, but has been trusted enough to not be a quackery. Take Wikipedihol at your own risk-- again, nobody is responsible with you [gaiman]. Artworks in any objects related to Wikipedihol, Wikipedia, and the Wikimedia Foundation is licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0, allowing you to reproduce or reupload it, as long as there is a distinct credit and that you publish it under the same license, again, CC BY-SA 3.0.