Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Wrestle Kingdom 9/archive2
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
- The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.
The article was archived by Ian Rose via FACBot (talk) 03:18, 25 January 2016 [1].
- Nominator(s): starship.paint ~ KO 07:07, 7 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
This article is about a 2015 Japanese professional wrestling show, the premier annual event of NJPW, and was praised by critics. Jointly worked on by Ribbon Salminen and myself, we've started, DYK-ed, GA-ed and peer reviewed this article. This is the second attempt at FAC - the previous one had relatively few comments.
To encourage activity, I'm willing to exchange reviews for anyone I haven't already given help to! starship.paint ~ KO 07:07, 7 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- Comments from Wrestlinglover
Addressed
|
|---|
|
- Background
- "Jeff Jarrett's Global Force Wrestling, which it approached about bringing the event to a new market." → "Jeff Jarrett's Global Force Wrestling promotion to bringing the event to a new market." - move ref to the end
- This has not been addressed.--WillC 21:37, 5 January 2016 (UTC)[reply]
- "That day NJPW announced a partnership with Jeff Jarrett's Global Force Wrestling promotion to bringing the event to a new market" doesn't sound right to me. Am I missing something here? リボン・サルミネン (Ribbon Salminen)(ZOOM) 22:10, 5 January 2016 (UTC)[reply]
- It is clearer and you are removing words and getting to the point faster. Instead of adding "which it approached" you are just cutting it out and saying a partnership to bring the product to a new market. The other is going around the point in an unnecessary fashion.--WillC 07:15, 16 January 2016 (UTC)[reply]
- "That day NJPW announced a partnership with Jeff Jarrett's Global Force Wrestling promotion to bringing the event to a new market" doesn't sound right to me. Am I missing something here? リボン・サルミネン (Ribbon Salminen)(ZOOM) 22:10, 5 January 2016 (UTC)[reply]
- This has not been addressed.--WillC 21:37, 5 January 2016 (UTC)[reply]
- "Jeff Jarrett's Global Force Wrestling, which it approached about bringing the event to a new market." → "Jeff Jarrett's Global Force Wrestling promotion to bringing the event to a new market." - move ref to the end
- Event
- "The pre-show featured one match, the New Japan Rumble. Tiger Mask and Yuji Nagata began the match, with new wrestlers each minute." - List all participants in the first sentence. "The New Japan Rumble took place on the pre-show featuring...." "with new wrestlers entering each minute" Explain the rules of this match before you go in-depth on what is happening. Make the order more simple. This is an overview, not a play-by-play. I don't need to know Tonga entered 11th to eliminate someone. Makes me wonder when the others were and then it becomes a clusterfuck. Say Tonga got the first elimination and Kabuki got DQed.
- "Yoshi-Hashi threw Tonga over the top rope to leave himself and Nagata in the match, won by Nagata with a bridging belly-to-back suplex at 26 minutes and 9 seconds" - Poorly structured resulting in poor flow. Change to "Yoshi-Hashi threw Tonga over the top rope to leave himself and Nagata in the match. Nagata won the match by slamming Hashi against the mat with bridging belly-to-back suplex and covering for the pinfall at 26 minutes and 9 seconds." - Let the reader know what is going on. It is a trait that comes with having to think of the article as a non-wrestling fan. We know what is going on. Someone who is reading this to learn has absolutely no idea what is happening. This was on the pre-show, so why is it included in the undercard section if it is not part of the event?
- Created a pre-show section. リボン・サルミネン (Ribbon Salminen)(ZOOM) 19:30, 28 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- I cut some play-by-play and re-worded others. But a bridging suplex requires no cover >_> starship.paint ~ KO 03:34, 1 January 2016 (UTC)[reply]
- Undercard
- I'll come back to this section. I want to cover the rest of the article. This seems like a bit of work for me to covering everything indepth.
- Main event matches
- Same as above
- Reception
- Something I had to learn the hardway. Get ready for people to ask "who" in regards to "reportedly." So here it is, who has reported these figures?
- Why is the number of subscribers important to this event? 20,000 is nice but doesn't mean that many watched the show. That sentence is better for the Background section because it builds the streaming site.
- Just say four out of five stars.
- The Wrestling Observer Newsletter
- Guessing Meltzer did the review of the show. Note that Meltzer is stating this stuff.
- The source cited no author. starship.paint ~ KO 07:25, 27 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- "wrestleview.com" → "WrestleView.com" - Normally I'd say this isn't important but since the review is of the Japanese stream it has some significance.
- Capitalized the "W". The site doesn't capitalize the "v". リボン・サルミネン (Ribbon Salminen)(ZOOM) 20:18, 26 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- I'd question Pro Wrestling Dot Net being noted but Jason Powell writes for various sites and is becoming a name so I'm fine with it. Plus he is discussing Ross and Striker. Consider removing it though. I guess it is supposed to be a reliable source now but still that large of a name.
- State that Paste is a magazine.
- "The event, ending with "a broken Kazuchika Okada shambling tearfully back towards the locker room ... made the moment feel real, confirming that Okada isn't just a great athlete but a better actor than most who step into the ring, and elevating the entire scripted, choreographed display into something beyond a sport"." → "Martin commented on the ending of the show, stating that a "broken Kazuchika Okada shambling tearfully back towards the locker room made the "moment feel real" which displayed that "Okada isn't just a great athlete but a better actor than most who step into the ring, and elevating the entire scripted, choreographed display into something beyond a sport."
- "In his review, Vaughn Johnson of philly.com wrote:" "In his review, Vaughn Johnson of the Philadelphia Media Network through philly.com wrote:"
- Periods go within quotation marks.
- Done, where there were periods starship.paint ~ KO 08:30, 27 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- Aftermath
- The Ross comments would be better in reception. He is discussing the quality of their performance.
- Where did Styles pin Tanahashi at?
- It's the "Raw after WrestleMania", a house show named "New Year Dash!!", but is that really important? Also, the current source calls it "New Year's Dash", so we would have to get another primary source to get the correct name. リボン・サルミネン (Ribbon Salminen)(ZOOM) 19:30, 28 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- Anymore about Okada? Three losses and that is it? He is champion now. Must be more.
- " (in which Ishii defeated Tomoaki Honma for the now-vacant title)." → ",in which Ishii defeated Tomoaki Honma for the now-vacant title."
- "Wrestle Kingdom 9 broke Yuji Nagata's streak of consecutive January 4 Dome Show main cards at 21." → "Wrestle Kingdom 9 broke Yuji Nagata's streak of consecutive January 4 Dome Show appearances at 21 by being featured on the pre-show instead of the main card."
- Split this paragraph. It covers multiple subjects that shouldn't be connected. One for Nagata and one for the rest.
- I disagree. The subjects are all interlinked. Nakamura's aftermath requires Nagata and Goto. Goto's aftermath requires Ibushi, who was Nakamura's original opponent anyway. starship.paint ~ KO 13:05, 30 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- What is the Japan Cup?
- A tournament. Now mentioned. starship.paint ~ KO 13:05, 30 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- Who is Goto? There was no mention of him and then suddenly there he is. He lost the Cup and then suddenly gets a title shot. Explain how that came to be.
- The ex-tag champion. He made it to the tournament finals, which is mentioned. starship.paint ~ KO 13:05, 30 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- Add NJPW prior to event names and event after event names. Lets the reader know they are events and not just shows.
- " its takeover of the promotion" - What is this the NWO?
- Rewritten. starship.paint ~ KO 12:47, 30 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- Why is there a hyphen in tag team?
- Drop last paragraph. It is trivia information for the most part. Why is Koslov's next to last appearance important to this event? It is not. Them winning the titles has nothing to do with this event. Might as well say the weather was sunny the next day.
- External links
- Not connected to this article but just a request. Can someone update the template to include links to ALL Dome shows. Only 2 listed is very odd. Like the job was only half done.
- Any other links like to site covering this specific event or in demand links? GFW website would be nice as well and anything they have.
- Categories look fine.
- Hidden categories look good too.
- Images
- Poster's fair use is alright. Could be a bit better. I had an featured image editor look over a couple posters in the past. Gave me a really good image rationale for posters. I use it in all of my posters if it is for a GA or an FA. See File:Bound for Glory IV.jpg to use it.
- Alt text in poster is wrong.
- It was changed by a copy editor and according to this, it's fine. リボン・サルミネン (Ribbon Salminen)(ZOOM) 13:30, 26 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- Alt text for Jarrett is close but you don't have to go that indepth. Just say what you see. "Jarrett in a pink shirt standing outside of an event."
- Not sure Jarrett is the best image for that section. You got an image of the event like the entrance ramp? How about the image of Ross and Striker being used here instead? Connects to the information.
- Connected JJ to the information instead. starship.paint ~ KO 03:56, 1 January 2016 (UTC)[reply]
- Okada image is fine. Alt text could be shorted to just "Okada wearing a golden garland in wrestling gear standing in a wrestling ring."
- Would blind people know what wrestling gear is? starship.paint ~ KO 03:56, 1 January 2016 (UTC)[reply]
- Drop the Honma image. Not needed and not enough room since it is conflicting with the sections. Doesn't provide a clear, cut, concise, and nice article. Formatting is important.
- Redragon image is fine. Alt text will do. Captain could use some cutting. Just say they defended the title at the event. Put front and back in brackets instead [front] and [back].
- Nakamura image is fine. Just say he defended the title at Wrestle Kingdom. Distinguishing which main event is pointless. Alt text could use some cutting on description of title and what he is wearing.
- Cut the main-event. Don't see need to cut descriptions... starship.paint ~ KO 03:56, 1 January 2016 (UTC)[reply]
- Move the Ross/Striker image to Background. Caption being "Jim Ross (left) and Matt Striker (right) were chosen to commentate the event by Global Force Wrestling.
- See above, kept JJ in the Background. starship.paint ~ KO 03:56, 1 January 2016 (UTC)[reply]
- Can either enlarge the Tanahasi image or replace it with File:Hiroshi tanahashi NJPW.JPG. Both work and both have benefits. One has a clear view of his face. Other involves the belt.
- Enlarged. starship.paint ~ KO 03:58, 1 January 2016 (UTC)[reply]
- Ibushi image is unneeded. Too many images hurt articles. Enlarge the bullet club picture. Alt is fine, the caption should be changed to them just winning titles at the next event.
- I said I'd review this last time and never got to it. I plan to review it this time around. I'll complete this sometime during this next week. I'm in the middle of finals right now so time is constrained.--WillC 01:46, 9 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- Thanks so much! It can wait until after your finals, really. starship.paint ~ KO 11:30, 9 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- @Starship.paint: Alright, here is most of the review. I did not cover the event section. I will once this stuff is fixed. Now that I've covered almost everything I want to do a few disclaimers. When I review articles, I go in-depth. I look at every word, every sentence, every image, and some times the source code. The article isn't bad. It is very good. I'm just making sure it is as close to perfect as possible. It takes time and patience to do it. One reason I don't review as much anymore. Also, you reviewed Hard Justice (2008) for me not long ago. We had alot of back and forth on changing stuff there. I'm expecting the samething here. I want that. I feel reviewing should be a discussion, not a dictation. I did not review this differently than anything based on any disagreements on that article. I state this because I did not expect to find this many issues as I did and I don't want it to seem like I'm being a dick. I wish to help get these issues fixed. Once we cover everything I've listed, I'll cover the event. The main reason is because just skimming the event I'm going to have questions and I don't want to double what I already have.--WillC 13:09, 26 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- @Wrestlinglover: - check the replies :) starship.paint ~ KO 04:11, 1 January 2016 (UTC)[reply]
- Checking--WillC 20:11, 5 January 2016 (UTC)[reply]
- Been busy, I'm getting to this.--WillC 00:10, 15 January 2016 (UTC)[reply]
- I have been busy too, maybe only available on weekends now... starship.paint ~ KO 10:07, 15 January 2016 (UTC)[reply]
- Been busy, I'm getting to this.--WillC 00:10, 15 January 2016 (UTC)[reply]
- Checking--WillC 20:11, 5 January 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Closing comment -- Sorry but we still seem a long way from consensus to promote after some six weeks so I'll be archiving this shortly. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 03:17, 25 January 2016 (UTC)[reply]
- Hmm, I was not expecting this. I figured since this was basic discussion and most of the issues were resolved we still had time. Then again, I was the only one reviewing. I'll finish the review on the next nomination, if there is one.--WillC 12:15, 25 January 2016 (UTC)[reply]
- Closing note: This candidate has been archived, but there may be a delay in bot processing of the close. Please see WP:FAC/ar, and leave the {{featured article candidates}} template in place on the talk page until the bot goes through. Ian Rose (talk) 03:18, 25 January 2016 (UTC)[reply]
- The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.