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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was not promoted by User:SandyGeorgia 01:57, 17 December 2008 [1].

WrestleMania XXIV

[edit]
Nominator(s): iMatthew

I'm nominating this article for featured article because I'm sure it meets the Featured article criteria. Concerns will be addressed. iMatthew 00:03, 2 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Gary King (talk · contribs)
  • I don't like the small text in "Results"; I suggest changing to normal
  • In the infobox, there should be no space between the word and the (s) (I'm assuming the (s) to cover bases for singular and plural.) This will require editing the infobox; shouldn't be a problem though.
  • Why is U.S. state linked? Common enough term to not need it.
  • "and it was" – "and was"
  • "brand, that" – "brand that"
  • "featured The Undertaker defeating World Heavyweight Champion Edge" — "featured The Undertaker's defeating World Heavyweight Champion Edge"
  • "match; CM Punk won the match." – "match, which CM Punk won."
  • "Bowl; grossing $5.85" – "Bowl, grossing US$5.85"
  • "The Citrus Bowl record-breaking attendance of 74,635, consisting of people from 21 countries, all 50 states, and five Canadian provinces, pumped an estimated $30 million into the local economy." – "The Citrus Bowl's record-breaking attendance of 74,635, consisting of people from 21 countries, all 50 states, and five Canadian provinces, pumped an estimated $30 million into the local economy."
  • That "See also: Professional wrestling" in Background strikes me as being too generic to be a See also link.
  • Where's the reference for the paragraph that begins with "The event featured nine professional wrestling matches"
  • Ref for "Canadian Online Explorer's professional " onwards?

Gary King (talk) 00:19, 2 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I got everything except the reference for that paragraph. I'm not sure about it. iMatthew 00:30, 2 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Assuming the reader doesn't know anything about the subject, like me, then the paragraph should be referenced. How else can I verify if the information is accurate? Gary King (talk) 00:45, 2 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Matt, I recommend sourcing it with this. It's reliable, seeing how there is an article on Wiki about it.--SRX 00:51, 2 December 2008 (UTC)
Sourced with that link. iMatthew 00:56, 2 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Not commenting on its reliability, but just because it has its own article doesn't mean it's reliable. Gary King (talk) 00:57, 2 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Well, I guess let Ealdgyth comment its reliability, but I think its reliable since its operated and published by Discovery Networks. In addition, the ref should go before the sentence that elaborates about the "brand extension." The brand extension sentence should be sourced with the WWE corporate citation released in 2002.--SRX 00:59, 2 December 2008 (UTC)
A few comments from WillC

Comments -

Otherwise, sources look okay, links checked out with the link checker tool. Ealdgyth - Talk 14:32, 2 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Done with some replies. iMatthew 21:59, 2 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Oppose - Sorry, but a review of the lead only revealed a lot of questionable prose. Here's what I found.

  • Put the tagline reference after the quotation mark.
  • "Nine professional wrestling matches were programmed for the event". Don't think program is a better choice than scheduled, which I've seen in previous wrestling FACs.
  • "that featured The Undertaker's defeating World Heavyweight Champion Edge to win the title."
  • Logo in the infobox needs a link that specifically shows the logo as a source. One of our image reviewers can determine what else is needed.
  • "From the six scheduled bouts on the undercard, three received more promotion." More promotion than what?
  • Remove comma after Career Threatening match?
  • US dollar link isn't needed in the lead. As WrestleMania XXIV was held in the US, it is an American topic, and us Americans don't need links for our own currency.
  • Spell out Corp. in Enigma Research Corp.
  • Non-breaking spaces needed for the three million-dollar+ dollar totals in the lead.
  • "ended up pumping an estimated $51.5 million instead of the projected $25 million into the local econony..." The original projection is harming the flow of the sentence. Either re-word it or just have it in the body.
  • "The Central Florida Sports Commission estimated that the event created numerous jobs and brought around 60,000 visitors to the city for the event." "Numerous" is too vague, can a reasonable estimate be given? Also, "for the event" should be dropped, since it's redundant with the early part of the sentence.

I recommend seeking a copy-edit for the whole article. If the lead has a large number of problems, the body probably needs work too. Let me know when these are done, and I'll review more when I can. Giants2008 (17-14) 00:10, 3 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Done with a few comments. iMatthew 00:29, 3 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Back for round 2, and my oppose still stands, unfortunately. I found all of these in the first two paragraphs of the Background section:
  • "All wrestlers belonged either the..." Two-letter word is missing.
  • "in which WWE assigned its employees to a different programs." Why is "a" here?
  • "Cena became a top contender to the WWE Championship at WrestleMania XXIV." Picky, but I'd replace to with for. Other instances of this exist later.
  • "Orton got himself intentionally disqualified after slapping the referee". What else did he have to do? Even wrestling has some rules. :-) I think you're looking for "by slapping the referee".
  • "in an Elimination Chamber match, a match...". Close repetition here. This has been one of the nagging complaints about the move out-of-universe, and it's a problem in this instance.
  • "surrounded by chain and girders." One chain?
  • "who is portrayed as a matchmaker and rules enforcer". Is may be correct now, but for how long will that be the case? I would make it was.
  • Two instances of "if ... should win", which should be "if ... won".
  • Remove comma after "Regal added a stipulation to the match". As an alternative, a colon could be inserted, along with the removal of the next word."
My advice about seeking copy-editing services still stands as well. The most beneficial thing would be to seek someone outside the wrestling project, who could come with a completely fresh pair of eyes. I know it's not easy to find someone to work on these articles, but the effort would be helpful. Giants2008 (17-14) 22:22, 4 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Done. ayematthew ✡ 22:29, 4 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • The first thing I saw when I returned to the Background section was an indented paragraph with a stray period. Doesn't inspire me with confidence.
What? ayematthew ✡ 02:07, 7 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "On the following episode of Smackdown, Edge predicted that The Undertaker's 15–0 record at WrestleMania would come to an end once he defeated him at WrestleMania." "at WrestleMania" is repeated in the sentence. Needs rewording.
  • "in a Steel Cage match, a match where the ring is surrounded by walls of steel." → "in a Steel Cage match, where the ring is surrounded by steel walls."
  • "The Undertaker chokeslammed — lifted both Hawkins and Ryder by the throat and slammed them down to the mat — while he executed a Tombstone piledriver (second link in section) on Guerrero." If what is in between the dashes is removed, the sentence makes no sense. Can this be reworded too?
  • During the "burial," however". Watch for logical punctuation. Unless part of a quote, punctuation should be outside quotation marks.
  • "came to his aid and confronted Big Show. Big Show..." Repetition again.
College finals are looming, meaning that I probably won't return for a few days. Until then, these should be fixed. Giants2008 (17-14) 01:44, 7 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Done. ayematthew ✡ 02:07, 7 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

College finals no longer looming, but I'm waiting until SRX's comments are resolved. I see no reason to overload the nominator with comments. I might even look at making some improvements if I have time, which is a distinct possibility. Giants2008 (17-14) 03:08, 16 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Fixed.--WillC 05:14, 3 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Significant contributors - you should have notified the significant contributors of the article about this FAC, since they are the ones who helped edit the article.SRX 22:36, 3 December 2008 (UTC)
  • Comments from the lead.
  • From the six scheduled bouts on the undercard, three received more promotion than the other three. - "other three" → "others".
  • Is it possible to cut down on the usage of "bout" in the second paragraph of the lead.
  • Tickets for the event went on sale to the public on November 3, 2007. - Is there a better term for "went on sale"?
    • Not that I can think of.
  • For the second year in a row, WrestleMania broke the record for the highest-grossing pay-per-view in WWE history, as well as for the Citrus Bowl, grossing US$ 5.85 million in ticket sales. - "For the second year in a row" → "for the second consecutive year". Also, there is no space between the $ and the number.
  • The Central Florida Sports Commission estimated that the event created jobs and brought around 60,000 visitors to the city. - "around" → "approximately". Also, "estimate" is a term usually reserved for exact numbers, so "estimated that the event created jobs" reads oddly.
    • Suggestions to fix it?
  • WWE and the city of Orlando hosted festivities that spanned a five-day period within the central Florida region. - "city of Orland" → "City of Orland" (notice the change in capitalization).
  • More than one million people ordered the event on pay-per-view, grossing $23.8 million in revenue. - "More than" → "over".

–Juliancolton Tropical Cyclone 03:35, 4 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments by Nikki

  • "Ric Flair in his last match at WrestleMania XXIV, who lost to Shawn Michaels." - this is grammatically incorrect
  • "All wrestlers belonged to the SmackDown! brand – a storyline division in which WWE assigned its employees to a different program, the other being Raw" - I thought wrestlers from all three brands participated in WrestleMania.
  • It sounds confusing to call Cena the #1 Contender and then Triple H the same thing later on ("Triple H also became the #1 Contender..."). Maybe they would be better referred to as "a top contender for the championship" or something along those lines....something that indicates there can be more than one. Does WWE refer them both specifically as #1 Contenders?
  • "At No Way Out, The Big Show (Paul Wight) made a return to the company." - it might be good to add how long he'd been absent, so "At No Way Out, The Big Show (Paul Wight) made a return to the company after a (add time span here) hiatus."
  • "Jeff Hardy was later removed from the match after being legitimately suspended by WWE for violation of the company's wellness policy" - this might make more sense to a non-fan if the fact that it was a drug violation was made clearer
  • "During an interview, WWE production manager Brian Petree mentioned that video reinforcement should prevent anyone from being obstructed by the steel structure." - anyone's view?
  • In the main event section, I don't think it is made clear enough that Sweet Chin Music is the name of Michael's superkick.
  • Some of the move names are in italics (like Pedigree and RKO) and some aren't (like Sweet Chin Music and FU). Make sure it is consistent throughout.

Nikki♥311 03:45, 4 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Image review: Images appear to be fine. --Moni3 (talk) 16:23, 4 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

  • There needs to be a link to singles match in the lead.
  • The other match was a Career Threatening match where Shawn Michaels defeated Ric Flair, forcing Flair's retirement from professional wrestling. - this would read better as ..resulting in Flair's retirement from professional wrestling.
  • In addition, why are the brands not linked in the lead?
  • All wrestlers belonged to either the Raw, SmackDown, or ECW brand – storyline divisions in which WWE assigned its employees to different programs. - if you're going to elaborate what the ECW acronym in the lead, you may as well do in the background intro.
  • The event featured nine professional wrestling matches with wrestlers involved in pre-existing scripted feuds, plots and storylines. Wrestlers were portrayed as either villains or fan favorites as they followed a series of tension-building events, which culminated in a wrestling match or series of matches. All wrestlers belonged to either the Raw, SmackDown, or ECW brand – storyline divisions in which WWE assigned its employees to different programs. - recently, The event has been replaced with the event's name, which in this case would be WrestleMania.
  • At the Royal Rumble pay-per-view event in January, Cena won the Royal Rumble match, where thirty wrestlers compete in a ring and are eliminated by being thrown over the top rope. are -->were, compete--->competed [past tense]
  • That same night, Triple H also became the a top contender to the WWE Championship by defeating five other men in an Elimination Chamber match, which features wrestlers fighting in a ring surrounded by chains and girders. 1)Remove the word the before a top contender. 2)Features --> Featured [past tense]
  • If Orton won, however, the main event would remain as Orton versus Triple H in a standard wrestling match. Cena, however, won the match and was added to the bout at WrestleMania. - it should be elaborated here that a standard wrestling match is also a singles match.
  • The Undertaker won the match by eliminating Batista (Dave Batista) after lifting him upside down and dropping his head down to the mat, a move called the Tombstone piledriver. - is it relevant to say how he won? Its not relevant to the feud and is just adding more WP:PLOT.
  • The following week, Edge, Hawkins, Ryder, and Chavo Guerrero, a group of aligned wrestlers, defeated Ric Flair (Richard Fliehr) and Shawn Michaels (Michael Hickenbottom) in a Steel Cage match, where the ring is surrounded by walls of steel. - in this context, is should be was
  • The Undertaker lifted both Hawkins and Ryder by the throat and slammed them down to the mat, while he executed a Tombstone piledriver on Guerrero. - if the Tombstone is removed as I suggested above, it would need to go here, and in addition, the chokeslam explanation should state that is indeed called a chokeslam (that's if it used again in the article)
  • The Undertaker emerged from a casket, which was inside the ring, and attacked Edge, Hawkins and Ryder, knocking Hawkins and Ryder outside the ring and chokeslamming Edge through the casket. - see, here the reader is left clueless because they don't know what a chokeslam is.
  • The SmackDown prime rivalry has a lot of WP:PLOT, I suggest cutting some of it out, [a lot of week by week IMO]. I will review the rest after these comments are addressed.--SRX 21:41, 11 December 2008 (UTC)
Done, thanks! ayematthew ✡ 22:41, 12 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Further Comments
  • . At No Way Out, The Big Show (Paul Wight) made a return to the company after taking time off for injuries beginning in December 2006. - I think you can spot the error.
  • The match involved wrestlers from all three WWE brands. The winner would earn a contract to challenge for any of the three WWE World Championships (the WWE Championship of Raw, the World Heavyweight Championship of SmackDown, or the ECW Championship of ECW) at any time and any place over a one-year period. - WP:OVERLINK of ECW, anyhow, its pipedlinked to Extreme Championship Wrestling (ECW).
  • Qualifying matches occurred to determine the participants in the match at WrestleMania, starting on that night's edition of Raw with Jeff Hardy and Mr. Kennedy (Ken Anderson) respectively defeating Snitsky (Gene Snitsky) and Val Venis (Sean Morley) to qualify. - move the respectively to the end of the sentence, it doesn't work well in the middle of the sentence.
  • The final design had the lighting and video screens on the tarpaulin rig as well as the sound system. - a pause is needed before as well +comma.
  • Without the restriction of a roof, the pyrotechnics for the show shot as high as 2,000 ft as compared to WrestleMania 23's height of 150 ft. - use {{convert}} to convert these to meters.
  • After the show, WWE was criticized for a malfunction in the pyrotechnics during The Undertaker's victory celebration. During the celebration, a hot cable for pyrotechnics was sent flying into audience members in the upper seating bowl of the stadium, leaving 45 injured with some hospitalized. The accident was apparently due to a cable which fireworks were traveling across snapping, thus resulting in the fireworks exploding into the top rows of the upper bowl of the stadium.[31][32] WWE's corporate website released a statement afterward stating that they would investigate the incident, though the results of the investigation were never released.[33] - this just stands out because it gives away that The Undertaker won before the event section is even explained. In addition, this is more of aftermath than production. I suggest moving it.
  • With the Citrus Bowl's locker rooms on the south side and the entrance set on the north side, a tented 40,000 ft² mini-city outside the north end served as the show's backstage area and included air conditioning, trailers, VIP areas, showers and restrooms. - {{convert}} is need for the square foot.
  • Heavy-duty plastic flooring had been put over the field, to protect the turf, provide seating and serve as the steel structures' foundation. - comma needed before and.
  • The building of the actual set began in the middle of March. - because in the previous sentence the year 2007 is stated, it should be stated that this March is in 2008, or do you meant 2007?
  • Before the show aired live on pay-per-view, Kane (Glen Jacobs) won a 24-man Interpromotional Battle Royal, an elimination style match where the last person remaining is the winner, to win an ECW Championship match against Chavo Guerrero (Salvador Guerrero) later that night. - in this context, the explanation of the match should be in past tense.
  • The first match that aired live on pay-per-view was a Belfast Brawl between Finlay and John "Bradshaw" Layfield (JBL), a match where there are no disqualifications and match outcomes can occur anywhere. - this should also be in past tense per the context.
  • The match featured several spots, which included JBL hitting Finlay with a trash can lid when the latter was about to perform a suicide dive on him through the ropes on the outside. - spot is jargon.
  • Later on, Finlay tossed JBL through the table that he had set up earlier on the turnbuckle. - in this context, the should be a
  • Hornswoggle also got involved during the match by hitting JBL's with a kendo stick, while later on JBL threw a trash can at him. - JBL's?
  • Attacking Finlay's knee with a kendo stick, JBL then quickly hit a high impact attack with his forearm to score a successful pinfall. - is pinfall linked above? Just wondering.--SRX 02:44, 13 December 2008 (UTC)
Sorry I almost missed these. I'll get them tomorrow afternoon. ayematthew ✡ 00:42, 15 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
I need to put it off another day. I spent the night trying to catch a raccoon in my attic, not fun. Sorry, ayematthew ✡ 03:11, 16 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Everything is done with some comments. ayematthew ✡ 20:16, 16 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Followup

  • The match featured several parts, which included JBL hitting Finlay with a trash can lid when the latter was about to perform a suicide dive on him through the ropes on the outside. - parts? can another word be used?
  • The match featured many dangerous spots. - either explain that spots means the meaning above or avoid using spot per WP:JARGON
  • Early in the match, Morrison climbed a turnbuckle and performed a back flip on others outside while holding a ladder against his chest. - link to turnbuckle. In addition, turnbuckles in wrestling are padded.
  • When MVP was close to retrieving the contract briefcase, Matt Hardy (returning to action after suffering a legitimate injury) - link to legitimate, the one in pro wrestling
  • When MVP was close to retrieving the contract briefcase, Matt Hardy (returning to action after suffering a legitimate injury), entered the ring and climbed the ladder, he grabbed and slammed MVP's head down to the mat over his shoulders off the ladder. - this explanation is worded badly. How about When MVP was close to retrieving the contract briefcase, Matt Hardy (returning to action after suffering a legitimate injury), entered the ring and climbed the ladder, he then slammed MVP's head down over his shoulders onto the mat.
  • The next match, which was billed as a "Battle for Brand Supremacy", was between SmackDown's Batista (Dave Batista) and Raw's Umaga (Eddie Fatu). - Batista's real name is Dave Bautista
  • Early in the match, both Batista and Umaga exchanged blows and Batista threw Umaga outside with a shoulder block. - Its not literally possible to throw someone outside with a shoulder block, how about knocked Umaga outside.
  • Umaga later delivered a high-impact kick to Batista, which caused him to fall back-first outside the ring from the ring-apron. - how about Umaga later kicked Batista in the face, which caused him to fall back-first outside the ring from the ring-apron.
  • The fourth match for the event featured Chavo Guerrero defending his ECW Championship against Kane. Kane surprised Chavo by emerging from underneath the ring instead of from the entrance stage. - it should be elaborate that this is during his ring entrance
  • Kane instantly pinned Chavo after he lifted Chavo by the throat and slammed him down to the mat (termed as a chokeslam) and won the ECW Championship. ---> Kane instantly pinned Chavo to win the ECW Championship after a chokeslam, in which Kane lifted Chavo by the throat and slammed him down to the mat.
  • Ric Flair put his career on the line next against Shawn Michaels. - WP:JARGON "on the line"
  • The Flair match has too much WP:PLOT, cut down this match by eliminating some of the play-by-play
  • Randy Orton defending his WWE Championship against Triple H and John Cena in a Triple Threat match, or a standard match involving three wrestlers, was next. - Threat should not be capitalized. In addition, link to the match?
  • During the match, when Triple H had held Orton in a sleeper hold, Cena picked up both Orton and Triple H to flip and drop them down to the mat, --->...both Orton and Triple to flip and drop them down for an FU.
  • Orton dominated the match for some time. One highlight of the match featured Orton performing a crossbody from the top rope on Cena, while the latter was held on Triple H's shoulders in an electric chair position. the first period should be a semi colon. The electric chair should be a seated position since that is WP:JARGON.
  • Also, Orton drove both Cena and Triple H's heads to the mat from the second rope simultaneously. - It is not proper to start a sentence with "also"
  • Orton then tried to jump and grab Cena's head to drive it over his shoulders (a move called the RKO by Orton), but he countered and threw Orton onto Triple H. ---> Orton then tried to perform an RKO by jumping and grabbing Cena's head to drive it over his shoulders, but he countered and threw Orton onto Triple H.
  • Then, Triple H started targeting Orton's legs and using some submissions on him. - Not proper to start with "then" either.
  • The match came to an end when Cena had Triple H on his shoulders for the FU but was countered into a maneuver in which Triple H jumps and slams the opponent's head positioned between his knees to the ground, a move called the Pedigree. - an FU not the FU. Reword to , but was countered into a Pedigree; this move was performed by Triple H slamming Cena's head, positioned in-between his knees, onto the mat. In addition, finishers should be in italics.
  • As Triple H was in the pin, Orton come across and punted Triple H in the head and pinned Cena to win the match and retain the WWE Championship. It sounds like Triple H was being pinned, how about As Triple H was pinning Cena, Orton came across and punted Triple H in the head. He then pinned Cena to win the match and retain the WWE Championship.
  • Soon, Mayweather applied a sleeper hold on Big Show, but the latter escaped out of it before passing out and stomped on Mayweather's hand. - play-by-play
  • Finally, Mayweather removed his right glove and put on a pair of brass knuckles to hit Big Show in the face. As a result, Big Show was knocked out as he could not answer the referee's ten count, and Mayweather was declared the winner. - it would help if the referee's ten count was piped linked to like the rules of pro wrestling.
  • The main event of the night had Edge putting his World Heavyweight Championship on the line against The Undertaker. - WP:OVERLINK of Edge.
  • The early going in this match was slow-paced with some counters by both men. --> The early going of the match was slow-paced, in which both wrestlers countered each others maneuvers.
  • One high point had Undertaker run and leap over the top rope from the ring onto Edge on the outside. - high point?
  • Near the end, Edge was able to counter numerous signature moves of The Undertaker's including the chokeslam and the Last Ride, a variation of the powerbomb. - comma before including. Is powerbomb linked and elaborated above?
  • Although, The Undertaker was able to land both these moves, Edge was able to kick out of both. - what?
  • The last part of the main event prose needs to be seriously reworded. It seems like you just nominated this article without any work, you have potential to rephrase and cut these proses down like you did with The Great American Bash (2005). As a result of these many prose issues, I have to Oppose the passing of this article until some work is done with the prose. Sorry.--SRX 21:46, 16 December 2008 (UTC)

Followup3

  • After getting up on his feet with a worried face, Michaels said to Flair "I'm sorry, I love you," before nailing a final superkick and thus pinning Flair to end his 35-year long wrestling career per pre-match stipulations. - 1)Nailing is poor word choice. 2)Thus? I don't think superkicking somebody will "thus" be a pinfall.
  • In the Flair match, there is an overuse of "delivered"
  • An attempt by Edge to drop Undertaker on his head in an upside down position was reversed into Undertaker's own Tombstone Piledriver. - it needs to be elaborated earlier in the sentence that the explanation is indeed a Tombstone Piledriver
  • Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder came to the ring for Edge's aid. Because of their distraction, Edge was able to hit a takedown maneuver on The Undertaker, followed by an unsuccessful pin attempt. 1)Merge. Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder came to the ring for Edge's aid, and because of their distraction, Edge was able to hit a takedown maneuver on The Undertaker, followed by an unsuccessful pin attempt.
  • On the following episode of Raw, Ric Flair made his farewell speech, which led to Triple H introducing various people from Flair's past, such as the Four Horsemen, a former group of wrestlers, Ricky Steamboat, and others, each coming out to give an emotional farewell. - it should be elaborated that Flair was in the 4 Horsemen.
  • Michaels won with a superkick. - won what?
  • With Matt Hardy's return at WrestleMania, his feud with Montel Vontavious Porter over the WWE United States Championship that started in July was revived with a match booked at Backlash which Hardy won. - comma before which
  • The rivalries between The Undertaker and Edge and the one between Kane and Chavo Guerrero both continued with successful title defenses at Backlash. comma in between and and Guerrero
  • DVD reception?--SRX 02:56, 17 December 2008 (UTC)
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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