Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/The Seinfeld Chronicles/archive1
- The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.
The article was archived by Ian Rose (talk) 14:35, 10 September 2014 (diff).
- Nominator(s): --Music26/11 15:11, 14 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
This article is about the pilot episode of Seinfeld I've worked on it for some time now and feel it is ready for FAC, and here we are. My only personal concern at this time is the information regarding claire the waitress, which is not so much info about casting for the character, as it is about why she was removed from the show, so perhaps it should be (re)moved. Anyway I'd like to hear your opinion about it. Thanks in advance.--Music26/11 15:11, 14 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Comments taking a look now. Will jot notes below.Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 13:13, 17 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
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Seinfeld and David wrote a TV pilot as they felt their "show about nothing" concept wouldn't sustain that long.- "sustain" used oddly here - I know what you're getting at but not alternative is jumping out.....- - Better now?--Music26/11 14:35, 18 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
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prompted the network executives to decide not to pick up the show for a first season.- could probably reduce three verbs to two here.....- - Better now?--Music26/11 23:47, 17 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
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Jep Epstein- I'd use a couple of descriptors to introduce who he is at first mention- - Do you have any suggestions? He's a composer, I think it would be kinda weird for the sentence to read "The music used in the episode was composed by composer Jep Epstein..." as the 'composer' bit would be fairly obvious.--Music26/11 23:47, 17 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
- Agree - ok nevermind. Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 03:37, 18 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
- - Do you have any suggestions? He's a composer, I think it would be kinda weird for the sentence to read "The music used in the episode was composed by composer Jep Epstein..." as the 'composer' bit would be fairly obvious.--Music26/11 23:47, 17 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Kenny Kramer initially demanded that he'd play the part of Kessler- don't abbreviate verbs - a bit informal- - Done, I've also removed quite a few more through a control+F search.--Music26/11 23:47, 17 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
However, David did not want this and was able to talk him out of it- be good to add why- - Source doesn't say (you can look it up on youtube for verification btw), it only says Kenny Kramer wanted to play kramer, and then moves on to the casting process of Richards. However, as it isn't explicitly stated that David talked him out of it I've re-written the sentence but I have not been able to find information as to why Kenny Kramer did not put his foot down.--Music26/11 14:35, 18 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
- ok nevermind. Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 14:54, 18 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
- - Source doesn't say (you can look it up on youtube for verification btw), it only says Kenny Kramer wanted to play kramer, and then moves on to the casting process of Richards. However, as it isn't explicitly stated that David talked him out of it I've re-written the sentence but I have not been able to find information as to why Kenny Kramer did not put his foot down.--Music26/11 14:35, 18 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
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David wasn't sure about casting Richards - as above- - Done.--Music26/11 23:47, 17 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
as he was trying to cast an actor that physically resembled the original Kramer- "physically" redundant- - Done, well spotted ;).--Music26/11 23:47, 17 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
has stated that she was not aware of the pilot before becoming a regular on the show, but she'll never watch it out of superstition - why "but" here - also another appreviation- - Abbreviation fixed, but the "but" part, the sentence seems weird to me if I remove the word, suggestions perhaps?
- I think "and" is fine as the two segments are not contrastive. Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 14:58, 18 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
- - Abbreviation fixed, but the "but" part, the sentence seems weird to me if I remove the word, suggestions perhaps?
Despite the "weak" rating- use a word that means we can ditch the quote marks- - Done.--Music26/11 23:47, 17 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
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Make all the reference dates have consistent format e.g. "15 January 2014"- - Done.--Music26/11 14:35, 18 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
cautious support Otherwise looking goodish for prose and comprehensiveness I think....Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 13:45, 17 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Closing comment -- Not sure why there's been so little interest in this FAC but with only one (albeit welcome!) review in almost a month I can't see this gaining consensus to promote any time soon, so I'll be archiving it shortly. Given the lack of reviews, you can re-nominate it before the usual two-week waiting period is up if you so desire. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 14:33, 10 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]
- Closing note: This candidate has been archived, but there may be a delay in bot processing of the close. Please see WP:FAC/ar, and leave the {{featured article candidates}} template in place on the talk page until the bot goes through. Ian Rose (talk) 14:35, 10 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]
- The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.