- Lede
- Since you are allowed a fourth paragraph, consider splitting the first paragraph after the first two sentences.
- Hmm....When I was drafting the lead, my thought was to try to give each of the paragraphs an approximately equal size, partly for aesthetics and partly for Wikipedia:Manual_of_Style/Layout#Paragraphs, whereby concerns were mentioned on very short paragraphs. Anyway, I wrote the lead using Barack Obama as the reference point... Mr Tan (talk) 15:17, 9 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- Is there a reason Prime Ministers is capped? I agree that First Prime Minister and Second same, should be.
- I've reduced the "Prime Ministers" to small caps, throughout the text where I thought they were applicable, using Elizabeth II (the Queen vs queen) and Obama's (President vs president) as examples. However, the "First Prime Minister" is an official title, and I feel that they should be retained in big caps. Please feel free to reduce them to small caps if you feel that there are other parts that are also supposed to be reduced. Mr Tan (talk) 05:14, 10 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- It may not be obvious to Americans what a "law researcher" or "law lecturer" is.
- Perhaps I hyperlink the "researcher" and "lecturer" articles? Mr Tan (talk) 05:51, 10 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- I'd backtrack here - these are common words and it would seem to be an exaggeration to hyperlink them (pardon me). I think, if readers have trouble difficulties figuring out common terms, then it would be the duty of the dictionary to enlighten the readers. Think of the case as to should we even hyperlink the word for example, Relationship? A relationship can be of a sexual/intimate nature, work-based nature, family nature. Sometimes it's apparent from the context, as we often point out. As you can see, the duty of the lead is to provide an overview, while details are meant for the article body. I think, so long as R's role as a researcher and academic is spelt out clearly in the main text, it should suffice. Mr Tan (talk) 08:09, 25 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- " with the Cambodian People's Party (CPP)." I can guess what this refers to but this phrase hangs off the back of the sentence without playing a proper part in its structure.
- Shifted this phrase to the centre of the sentence. Looks more appropriate? ..... Mr Tan (talk) 15:17, 9 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- "publicly disputed" I'd be blunt and say "publicly argued"
- I thought of "arguing" as a verbal action, and "disputing" would be a more neutral choice of word. Anyway, I"ll accept... Mr Tan (talk) 15:17, 9 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- "over issues that ranged from the implementation of construction projects, signing of property development contracts to their rival alliances with the Khmer Rouge." there's an issue surrounding the comma, which may need to be replaced by an "and".
- Fixed Mr Tan (talk) 05:14, 10 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- " Ranariddh briefly challenged" maybe "initially" for "briefly"
- OK Mr Tan (talk) 05:14, 10 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- "Ranariddh was seen as a potential successor to Sihanouk as the next King of Cambodia," delete "the next" as surplusage.
- Fixed Mr Tan (talk) 15:53, 9 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- "forcing" Ranariddh/him. Unless there's a gun to his head, I think "causing" better. YMMV, but "forcing" in my view is overused in the media.
- Fixed Mr Tan (talk) 15:17, 9 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- "which selected Sihamoni to succeed Sihanouk in 2004." possibly which in 2004 selected Sihamoni as Sihanouk's successor"
- OK Mr Tan (talk) 05:14, 10 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- " In March 2007, Ranariddh was found guilty of both charges and sentenced to imprisonment, which were commuted after he received a pardon in September 2008." what does "were" refer to?
- Rephrased. Hope it looks clearer now Mr Tan (talk) 12:23, 10 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- Early life
- " primary school at Norodom School " can the duplication be avoided?
- Fixed Mr Tan (talk) 15:17, 9 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- "Ranariddh enrolled in the undergraduate programme of law at the University of Paris. In Paris," Was it the Sorbonne? Also note 2x Paris
- The Sorbonne was not mentioned in anyway within Mehta's source, and I hence I can't say for sure. To do so, it may lead to Wikipedia:No_original_research#Synthesis_of_published_material. Maybe I cite one of the phrases from the source, "...I went to the University of Paris for only one year because I was not very successful in studying in Paris, you see." Mr Tan (talk) 11:30, 10 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- " differing lifestyle norms " I'd make it clearer what you are talking about here.
- The source states...."...He acquired the image of a playboy in the year he spent in Paris where, he admitted, he neglected his studies because of the social distractions. "It was not a question of girlfriends, it was a question of a change of lifestyle," he said. "It was very difficult to move from a boarding school where you had to be very disciplined, to the university where you were very, very free. There was a lot of freedom, you know. There was no system of control. In high school the teachers spelt out all the lessons, but in university it was a different style. Life in Paris, if you are not conscious enough, is not at all suitable for serious study." I've changed the phrase to "which he attributed to the social distractions that he encountered in Paris" - would that be better?.... Mr Tan (talk) 15:41, 9 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- Entry
- "After being persuaded by his father, Ranariddh eventually joined FUNCINPEC in June 1983" not sure you need both "after" and "eventually"
- Removed "eventually" Mr Tan (talk) 05:31, 10 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- Make clearer whether the "personal representative" was a government or party office.
- Well for example, Mehta (2001) - p. 67 states that "His first appointment was that of the personal representative of Sihanouk in Asia."
- One US congress paper, also sees Ranariddh signing off as "Norodom Ranariddh, Personal Representative of Samdech Preah Norodom Sihanouk in Cambodia and Asia." You may wish to refer to [2], which has a snippet preview. In my opinion, it would be unnecessarily long to append "Samdech Preah Norodom Sihanouk in Cambodia and Asia" part to the prose, which may make it more confusing. This was Ranariddh's official position between 1983 till 1985, based on available sources. From the context, FUNCINPEC was still a resistance party at the time, and was not a government party as yet. Mr Tan (talk) 15:17, 9 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- "on an interim basis at the United Nations" this also hangs off the sentence disconcertingly. / It's a bit vague what the function of the SNC was.
- I thought that was the best way to define the role of the SNC. I agree that it appears a bit vague, but I suppose the vagueness is inherent in its nature.
- I would recommend you to read Widyono's source at pp. 34-35 [3], and also [4] - p. 65. Basically, the SNC was an organisation which represented sovereign interests at the United Nations between 1990 till 1993, but it "delegated" day to day administration of Cambodia to UNTAC. If you have any proposals to make it better, I would be very keen to jointly consider with you.... Mr Tan (talk) 05:14, 10 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- The "Initial Years" section needs more context. I doubt many people who will read this article from outside Cambodia are familiar with the system of government. I can't personally tell if Ranariddh is getting these office because of competence, parentage, or a combination.
- If I interpret your issue of context correctly, I suppose one area of your concern might be the text be "In March 1985, Ranariddh was appointed the inspector-general of the Armee Nationale Sihanoukiste (ANS), the armed forces of FUNCINPEC. In January 1986, Ranariddh was promoted to commander-in-chief and chief-of-staff for ANS." From the two sentences, you may be thinking who had actually appointed Ranariddh to the posts. From my contact time with the resources available, we can assume that it was probably his father, Sihanouk. The closest source that came to imply that Sihanouk elevated his son to the positions maybe found at Mehta (2001), p. 184 - [After he was removed in a coup in 1970, he persuaded Ranariddh to join him in his campaign to topple the Lon Nol regime. Sihanouk saw in Ranariddh a potential leader a quality he realised was missing in his other children. Ranariddh was elevated to the rank of Inspector General of the armee nationale sihanoukienne (ANS) in March 1985. He was appointed Commander-in-Chief, and Chief of Staff of the ANS in January 1986. Sihanouk's reliance on Ranariddh only grew after the signing of the Paris peace accord in 1991 that ended the civil war. The crowning glory was when Ranariddh became the head of his father's party, Funcinpec.] However, the source did not explicitly state that Sihanouk was personally involved in the promotion, and other sources that I have so far came across such as Narong, Ranariddh's autobiography only stated his appointments without really attributing to who did the promotions. If I were to slip in "Sihanouk promoted his son to the position of inspector general" and so on, and there is some other editors with the same sources do a spotcheck, I might be faulted for Wikipedia:Citing_sources#Text.E2.80.93source_integrity. Mr Tan (talk) 14:53, 10 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- In line with the material provided from the sources, I have expanded a little more on Ranariddh's entry into FUNCINPEC in 1983. Hope this helps! Mr Tan (talk) 15:15, 10 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- "attacks and killings of low-level party officials from government troops, who were wary of FUNCINPEC's influence in the country" Why? And there's being wary and then there's killing people.
- Rephrased the sentence - hope the point looks clearer now Mr Tan (talk) 11:29, 10 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- "chief-de-mission" is this anything like a chef-de-mission?
- OK Mr Tan (talk) 05:14, 10 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- "not to use Sihanouk's name for the election" maybe "for the election" should be "during the campaign".
- Added the word Mr Tan (talk) 11:29, 10 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- "threatened to secede eight eastern provinces from Cambodia" Can secede be used to refer to something else besides the subject?
- I can't figure out what you are proposing to amend for this point....to me, the sources states very clearly that Chakrapong and Sin Song plotted and led secession campaign in June 1993. You may wish to directly look at Google Books [5] Mr Tan (talk) 11:30, 10 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- "Head of State" lower case (2x)
- I have reduced the second one, considering the sentence structure, but the first one should be kept. The "Head of State" is a formal position, just like the King and Prime Minister. If this is to be reduced, then the "King" may also needs to be reduced. Mr Tan (talk) 05:14, 10 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- "and completed in early September 1993." needs "was" before completed.
- OK Mr Tan (talk) 05:14, 10 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
-
- Thanks! OK - I have addressed some of the issues which you have raised, and will look through the points by-and-by. Personally, I am amendable to revisiting a point more than once if need be. In the meantime, please do not hesitate to bring up additional points which you feel needs ratification or clarification. Cheers! Mr Tan (talk) 15:45, 9 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- Update: I have looked into all issues pointed out above, and am welcome to all fellow editors in suggesting, or pointing out more areas that can be improved further. I also welcome everybody to express their thoughts on this article's FA-worthiness. Cheers! Mr Tan (talk) 11:25, 13 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- Resuming. Due to travel and commitments to do other reviews, and the fact that this is requiring considerable comment by me, which takes time, this is going to be piecemeal:
- Lede response: I think you have to consider if you are going to be able to draw the reader into the article with a short opening paragraph, or a long one. Symmetry and even paragraphs are all well and good, but we are trying to transmit information.
- I don't agree that a starting paragraph of moderate length would compromise drawing a reader's attention as compared to a short one. If so, then this would imply that other FAs besides Barack Obama, but also those of Benjamin Harrison and Calvin Coolidge should need serious reconsideration. My original lead (prior to 17 Dec) has a lead that is based on Obama's style.
- I"ll concede on this point, as I have an impression that quite a number of articles such as Elizabeth II and John McCain have short starting paragraphs. While I have done as you have suggested, but personally, I don't really agree on this. As Wikipedia is a "free to edit" place, we should also think of making lasting edits. Perhaps, one, two or more years down the road, some unscrupulous editors can just merely siphon off the 3 lead paragraphs into an independent section, which is against Wikipedia:MoS. The fate of this article, Nguyễn Văn Thiệu's lead, is exactly what I am concerned with. I think using this format, would make it more tempting to unscrupulous editors to make such edits like Thieu's...... Mr Tan (talk) 16:42, 17 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- FAs, like other articles, tend to deteriorate over time from edits unless maintained. I'm not sure what to tell you about that.--Wehwalt (talk) 02:13, 22 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- Never mind, let us just say that I don't agree with this suggested edit, but I"ll accept for now. Mr Tan (talk) 13:28, 22 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- Initial years
- I think Bangkok does not need a country inline.
- I remembered somewhere (either in one of the GA or PR reviews) that as a matter of clarity, it would be good to provide the country after the city. Not all readers might be able to link a city to a country, hence the context-setting.... Mr Tan (talk) 14:22, 17 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- If the city's famous enough, it isn't necessary. I think it's famous enough, but if you feel otherwise, I won't press the point.--Wehwalt (talk) 02:13, 22 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- This subsection seems rather dry, containing only R's appointments. Did he ever speak to the media? Do we know his views on events during the decade plus covered by this section.
- I recalled that there were a few newspaper articles that Ranariddh used to give his opinion on the state of tripartite talks at that time. However, as I thought that they were not really significant, I thought that it would be better not to include them, as he was still not very notable during this point of his career. However, since you have raised this issue, I will run through the reference materials and add in one or two lines on this.... Mr Tan (talk) 17:28, 20 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- Update Hi Wehwalt, I have gone through the reference materials, and while Ranariddh did sporadically give one or two interviews here and there, I'm afraid to say that there's really very little to say about his career between 1983 till 1990, although he did a couple of things mentioned in Mehta's biography. Examples (1) Making a brazen attempt into PRK-controlled territory in 1986 (2) Brokering peace talks between Sihanouk and Hun Sen - it was a claim that he made, not backed by any other sources; (3) Making a visit to the US to meet with President Bush for additional arms to the ANS, a request was initially accepted, but later rejected in 1990. (4) A Singapore press report on a split within ANS/FUNCINPEC, with Ranariddh saying that there were "6000 troops in Cambodia" (which, in my opinion, is not really relevant for the purposes of a biographical article) [6]
- As you can see, he was not really a major personality as yet during this period of time (1980s). Furthermore, the information that I have gathered are so far quite vague and incomplete - just one isolated piece of information for each event, it would be difficult to write them coherently without making points "hangs off the sentence disconcertingly", concerns which you have expressed earlier.
- I would think that the highlight of Ranariddh's life career would be the 1990s, when he won the 93 elections, becoming Prime Minister and most notably, the 1997 armed clashes (or coup), in which he was ousted from power. Doing a quick run through of the news sources attributed to him at [7], you may wish to note that 90-95% of news sources are about him from the 1990s. Thus, I can safely say that he is barely notable during the 1980s. With all these in mind, and keeping the cohesiveness of the prose in mind, I would think it would be best to leave the section as it is - besides copyedits, in view of Wikipedia:Neutral_point_of_view#Balancing_aspects on notability and the availability of sufficient/complete information Mr Tan (talk) 17:04, 21 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- 1993
- " FUNCINPEC started to criticise the CPP in its governance of the country, provoking much consternation from the latter." This may seem odd to a Western reader, where it is the opposition's job to criticise the government.
- I think, you need to note that criticisms started as a prelude to the 1993 Cambodian general elections, when both parties (FCP and CPP) were about to compete against each other. They were on opposing sides back then.
- Perhaps for your understanding, the relevant source states: "There were no real obstacles," he said. "Hun Sen controlled everything, and the atmosphere in Phnom Penh was normal. There was no immediate threat. But after we transformed Funcinpec from a movement into a political party, we were very aggressive in our words against Hun Sen. When Hun Sen saw clearly that the alliance [between Funcinpec and the CPP] would not work anymore, relations worsened." ... There was little to smile about when it came to the vexed alliance of Funcinpec and Hun Sen's CPP. Their political agreement lay in tatters following allegations that the latter party had intimidated and murdered candidates of Funcinpec. Ranariddh said that agreement between them was "in a bad shape". For its part, the CPP accused Funcinpec of being financed by the Khmer Rouge. But Ranariddh said: "Please do not believe I have got US$6 million from Mr Pol Pot." ... Mr Tan (talk) 16:56, 17 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- It may need a little more context, then.--Wehwalt (talk) 02:13, 22 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- I think there are a few ways I can approach this issue. Firstly, I can remove the second part of the affected phrase, but I guess readers would probably be wondering "FUNCINPEC started to criticise the CPP in its governance of the country". "And so, what about it?" kind of thoughts. Secondly, I can also propose writing this (note the bolded part) "At the same time, FUNCINPEC started to criticise the CPP in its governance of the country, provoking much consternation from the latter which had maintained coordial ties with FUNCINPEC since 1991.", but it appears to me that readers would be wondering further down the road "what about "coordial ties"?" As I see it, it probably ends up with a story that "snowballs" the more as we elaborate...
- As much as we can try to make all the contexts conjoin and be comprehensive, nothing can be "waterproof". Personally, I think the best way would be to leave this point as it is. But if you strongly feels that it needs to be attended to, I"ll take either of the 2 approaches which you think best.... Mr Tan (talk) 11:25, 22 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- "declared their opposition to the announcement" possibly "to the plan" rather than "to the announcement"
- OK Mr Tan (talk) 16:56, 17 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- "threatened to secede eight eastern provinces from Cambodia." I don't think that "to secede" can be used in this way, you can't secede someone else, all you can do is secede yourself.
- Changed to: "to secede eight eastern provinces from the rest of Cambodia" Mr Tan (talk) 14:22, 17 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- "and included an agreement" this is a sufficiently different subject than the earlier part of the sentence and so probably should start a new sentence.
- Co-premiership
- "out of fear in igniting a civil war with the CPP" of rather than in.
- OK. Mr Tan (talk) 14:22, 17 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- "mutually agreeing on most policy decisions made[42] until early 1996.[43]" Reading this, it seems to me that source 43 must contain the information in 42, just time limited to 1996. Does it?
- Yes. I gave double quote just to be on the safe side, not wanting to be caught over "text source integrity" issues as far as possible. As Source 42 does not explicitly indicate that the honeymoon ended in early 1996.
- Source 42: "...the state during the 1993-95 period and partly with a less violent society. The coalition government functioned better than previous regimes. The two Prime Ministers agreed on major policies. Ranariddh worked well with Hun Sen to the extent that he was even willing to silence or purge his own dissenting party members. Moreover, the state did not face a threat from Sihanouk and the rebels, as the Khmer Republic did."
- Source 43: "Until recently, Ranariddh had echoed Hun Sen's enthusiasm for the coalition government. Together they had shared the glory, the lucrative contracts and at least formally the power as well. ..."
- It's unclear why joining the Francophonie was controversial.
- Expanded somewhat - hope it looks clearer now. Mr Tan (talk) 14:22, 17 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- "Ranariddh and Hun Sen jointly applied to make the country a member" wasn't the country actually applying, and the two just officials signing on its behalf?
- The sources states as follows: "Prince Norodom Ranariddh and Hun Sen, co-chairmen of Cambodia's interim administration, wrote a letter on July 28 to Head of State Prince Norodom Sihanouk, asking for his advice. "The provisional government sees the proposal for full membership to the Association of French Speaking Countries as important and useful for our country at this moment," the letter said." Mr Tan (talk) 14:22, 17 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- Maybe "joined in an application" for "applied?--Wehwalt (talk) 02:13, 22 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- " technical assistance in supporting Cambodia's language curricula" This seems vague
- Never mind, I"ll remove that point, replacing it with another that can be more clearly explained. Mr Tan (talk) 14:22, 17 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- "As Ranariddh saw it, these countries are characterised by hybrid regimes, active economic interventionism and limited press freedom, served as good models to propel Cambodia's socio-economic growth." There's a grammar issue here, possibly replacing "are" with a comma would do it.
- That was the original form Brian did while he did CE, as I thought a second comma after 2 words looks inappropriate. Anyway I've restored the point here. Mr Tan (talk) 14:22, 17 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- Well, there's still an issue.--Wehwalt (talk) 02:13, 22 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- The mentions of Singapore Malaysia and Indonesia can surely be limited to once here. And it seems to me you are running around the point. He felt that Cambodia should worry about economic development first and human rights later.
- How do you suggest in going about condensing the content so that the countries maybe mentioned once? To me, I can only think of removing a part or a whole of this sentence, [In the initial months of the administration, Ranariddh actively courted political leaders from various regional countries, including Indonesia,[47] Singapore[48] and Malaysia, with a view to encourage investment in Cambodia.], but doing so can leave a gap in context... Mr Tan (talk) 11:51, 18 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- Just say he admired S M and I, and invited leaders from those countries. That sort of thing. That way you are keeping relevant content together.--Wehwalt (talk) 02:13, 22 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- "As the chairman of the CDC, Ranariddh gave his approval to at least 17 business contracts submitted by Malaysian businessmen between August 1994 and January 1995." there's no hint as to how significant this is.
- I thought the next sentence after this explains the significance - in the sense that, the nature/type of contracts that were awarded? Mr Tan (talk) 17:09, 17 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- " luxury cruiser" possibly "luxury cruise ship" as "cruiser" as regards ships, is ambiguous. We have articles on most cruise ships, do we know the ship's former name before being brought to Cambodia?
- From the source, the cruise liner is "Heritage". I checked the disambig page for "Heritage", but I can't see anyone pointing to a cruiser or a ship.... Mr Tan (talk) 17:09, 17 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- Fine.--Wehwalt (talk) 02:13, 22 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- "Cambodian government was unable ... were eager" Depending on ENGVAR, either singular or plural might be right. Both are not correct.
- Removed the "were". I"ll take the Cambodian government as a single entity. Mr Tan (talk) 17:09, 17 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- "more trees continued to be fallen" felled for fallen.
- OKMr Tan (talk) 17:09, 17 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- Conflicts
- "but both prime ministers became uncomfortable working with Rainsy, because of his pursuit of corruption allegations from within the government" uncomfortable may be too sympathetic a term.
- What word do you propose to change? Sources: [8], [9]
- "Rainsy's questionings sowed unhappiness from the Ranariddh" huh?
- Corrected Mr Tan (talk) 11:51, 18 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- "who expelled Rainsy from FUNCINPEC in May 1994.[62] The following month, Ranariddh introduced a parliamentary motion to remove Rainsy as a Member of Parliament (MP) in June 1995.[66]" There seems to be an error in dates here, or perhaps it is inadequately explained, as "the following month" seems to me to be June 1994.
- Sorry - an honest mistake, corrected Mr Tan (talk) 11:51, 18 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- "Hun Sen submitted a government circular to reinstate January 7, the anniversary of the liberation of Phnom Penh by the Vietnamese forces from the Khmer Rouge, as a national holiday. Ranariddh had complied by countersigning the circular, which incurred the ire of Sihanouk and several FUNCINPEC leaders" It may not be obvious to readers what "countersigning" did, nor the nature of R's compliance.
- "adding his signature"? I think the compliance was part of the still-good working relationship which Ranariddh and Hun Sen still had at that point of time, but it's not explictly stated or explained in the sources. Mr Tan (talk) 11:51, 18 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- Complying is generally in response to a request. Possibly "agreed" or "concurred" might be better.
- Done Mr Tan (talk) 13:02, 25 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- "bordering Vietnam" surely unnecessary.
- It's necessary - otherwise context would appear ambiguous. Sources: [10], [11]
- "Ranariddh intended to test Hun Sen's response over his accusations, of which the latter chose to remain quiet" multiple grammar problems, "response" and "over" do not match, and I'm not sure where the "of which" is coming from.
- Changed "over" to "to". Will be glad if you can fix the "of which" if you think it still looks inappropriate. Mr Tan (talk) 11:51, 18 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- " for which he had signed an earlier agreement with Ariston in January 1995" "earlier" can be deleted, it is implied.
- OK Mr Tan (talk) 11:51, 18 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- "In an apparent act of retaliation" I think an inline source necessary here.
- OK Mr Tan (talk) 15:08, 18 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- "in the country, citing the absence of casino laws in the country" 2x "in the country", should be avoided.
- Changed to "by-laws"? Mr Tan (talk) 15:08, 18 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- "arranging a meeting" If R was there, then the language is fine, though R's presence should be mentioned. If he was not, then "arranging a" should be deleted.
- OK, done Mr Tan (talk) 17:28, 20 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- "CPP's outstanding delays in appointing FUNCINPEC district officials as district chiefs." I am not sure what the "outstanding" adds here.
- Sorry...wrong choice of word Mr Tan (talk) 14:39, 18 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- More as time permits.--Wehwalt (talk) 11:53, 17 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- All addressed (except for one) Mr Tan (talk) 17:28, 20 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
- Addressed the final point. Mr Tan (talk) 17:04, 21 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
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