Jump to content

Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Japanese battleship Tosa/archive1

Add links
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was promoted by Karanacs 17:14, 11 May 2010 [1].

Japanese battleship Tosa

[edit]
Nominator(s): —Ed (talk • majestic titan) 18:46, 23 April 2010 (UTC) and Cla68[reply]

Tosa was a super-dreadnought battleship that was never completed. As a general rule, ships like this don't normally have individual articles, but this one is special due to the many tests she was put through, which later influenced the well-known Yamato-class battleships of the Second World War. With the help of Cla and the members of Tullys Port, I believe this is now a well-referenced and full account of the ship; the only thing missing is where the wreck is, but I can't find any information on that. I'm wondering if a Japanese language newspaper archive would have something? Anyway, thanks for your comments and reviews; I'll address them as soon as I can. Regards, —Ed (talk • majestic titan) 18:46, 23 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

  • Comments This is an excellent article, but I think that it needs a little more work to reach FA class:
    • It would be worth noting somewhere that Kaga was completed as an aircraft carrier. Was there any reason that Tosa also wasn't converted to a carrier? (presumably as she was too close to completion as a battleship to make this practical)
    • The second para in the 'Design and construction' is poorly structured - sentences jump from the ship to the treaty negotiations (eg, "While she was being fitted out with a projected completion date of July 1922, Japan was party to the talks at the Washington Naval Conference; work on Tosa was halted on 5 February 1922, one day before Japan signed the treaty that was formulated at the conference.")
      • What do you think now?
    • What's meant by the barbettes for the 406 mm (16 inch) guns being 'present'? - had they been fitted to the ship, or were they in the vicinity?
      • Copyedited
    • What's a 'frame'?
    • The outline order of the ship's sinking doesn't seem necessary Nick-D (talk) 03:35, 24 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Support All comments now addressed Nick-D (talk) 00:55, 25 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Ah. I was looking at a different pic (the one below the infobox), I see what was meant here now. I moved the one I was referring to to the left, which solves the white-space problem on bigger monitors. I'm not sure what to do about the "sandwiching" pic though. - The Bushranger (talk) 18:37, 26 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
I've moved them around and deleted one; what do you think now? —Ed (talk • majestic titan) 04:49, 27 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Well, for my monitor, the left align of the image under the infobox is needed to avoid whitespaceitis (see article talk page), but it works fine on a 1024-sized screen. Nothing to hold it up about, just a quibble. :) - The Bushranger (talk) 06:25, 27 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Comments - mainly nitpicky:
    • I generally like to see more than one paragraph in the lead. Is there any way to split and lengthen it? Perhaps include the significance of the gunnery testing, and maybe some of the specifics of the ship's construction (i.e., keel laying, launching)
    • "frame 228 10.8 feet" reads really awkwardly, sort of like there's a missing unit symbol or something. I know what you mean, but is there any way to split the numbers up with a word or something?
    • Do we really need the arcminutes of the ship's list? That seems needlessly specific.
    • In the second para of the "Sinking" section, who is "they?" You and I know you mean the miscellaneous tugs/observation ships/etc. that accompanied the ship to be scuttled, but it would be better to specify somewhere, if possible.
    • You've got a 360-millimetre (14 in) - three problems: first, it's in BE and the rest of the article is in AE, and second, it's metric first. I believe all of the Japanese guns followed British practice of measuring the diameter in Imperial units. Lastly, it's an incorrect conversion, 14 inches is approximately 355 mm, not 360.
  • Everything else looks pretty good. Nice work! Parsecboy (talk) 00:20, 29 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Support - my nitpicks have been addressed. Parsecboy (talk) 12:42, 5 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Very niceSteven1969 (talk) 01:29, 29 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Comments It's good for what it is, but it seems 'light' to me. I can't tell if it's a problem with notability or citable content and maybe it's because I just did the (awesome) Battle of Villers-Bocage review. I know it's a tough request, but how about a series of graphics indicating the effect of the explosions on the hull? Any engineering drawings or equivalent estimated from sources would also add immesurably to the 'weight'. Doug (talk) 18:15, 2 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]
    • Oof, that's tough. The only drawings I've seen are in Lacroix/Wells and Garzke/Dulin, and I suspect that Lengerer would have them (but I was only provided with a relevant excerpt by him). See page 759 here for a diagram of the 406-mm shell hit which so dramatically influenced the design of the Yamatos, and I could get a similar scan from G/D, but I am not an artist. I can crop and rotate images, that's about it. :-) Would you be able to draw a diagram up if I gave you a scan of G/D (so you can use both sources and not create a derivative work)? —Ed (talk • majestic titan) 02:51, 3 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Well, all three images are PD-Japan-oldphoto, which stipulates that they be taken before the 1946 cutoff and not published or published before 1956. In either case, these images satisfy that because they were taken between 1922 and 1925. More discussion regarding images similar to this can be found at the FAC for Amagi-class battlecruiser. —Ed (talk • majestic titan) 02:12, 7 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Sources comment: In the bibliography the Langerer entry does not seem complete (lacking publisher and location?) Otherwise, sources seem OK. Brianboulton (talk) 23:04, 7 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]

It's not really 'published' in the traditional sense; from what I understand, people pay for each issue (two each year), and then he emails it to them. —Ed (talk • majestic titan) 05:47, 8 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Then what makes it a reliable source? Does it meet WP:SPS? SandyGeorgia (Talk) 21:26, 8 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Sorry, I should have said this before—he's also a published author and expert in the field.[2] —Ed (talk • majestic titan) 23:14, 8 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Wikipedia:Featured_article_candidates/Japanese_battleship_Tosa/archive1&oldid=1148412049"