Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Elizabeth of Bosnia/archive2

The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was not promoted by Ian Rose 10:02, 9 February 2014 (UTC) [1].[reply]

Elizabeth of Bosnia

Nominator(s): Surtsicna (talk) 19:49, 3 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

This article is about a formidable but politically untalented queen whose disastrous regency ended with her grisly death. I have addressed the points raised a year ago, which I was unable to do before the first FA nomination expired. If it passes, it will be the first Bosnia and Herzegovina-related featured article. Surtsicna (talk) 19:49, 3 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Image review

File:Mary_%26_Elizabeth_of_Hungary.jpg needs US PD tag
File:HAZU_77_17_lipnja_2008.jpg needs a licensing tag for the original work as well as the photo
File:Lands_under_Louis_the_Great_in_the_middle_of_the_14th_century.jpg: source link is dead. Nikkimaria (talk) 17:12, 4 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]
- I believe I have fixed the first two, if that is what you had in mind. I do not know how to deal with the last one, though. How can I "resurrect" the link? Or is removal the only solution? Surtsicna (talk) 18:56, 4 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  - Web archive. This map appeared in A Pallas nagy lexikona. --Norden1990 (talk) 19:01, 9 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]
    - Thank you very much, Norden! I have replaced the dead link with the one you provided. Surtsicna (talk) 19:12, 9 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Poland-themed article, reviewing for WP:POLAND. Few comments from last year remain:

I still think that her Hungarian and Polish (and Serbian) names should be mentioned in lead, but I'll not oppose if they aren't.
"until 1370, when Louis succeeded his maternal uncle, Casimir III the Great, as king of Poland". Polish Wikipedia lists a concrete date, 17 November
I recently wrote an article on the Greater Poland Civil War. It should be linked in from this article, and some information discussed there may be copied and used to enrich this article, too. --_{Piotr Konieczny aka Prokonsul Piotrus| reply here} 15:34, 14 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]
- I thought we decided that a footnote was for the best, given that so many name forms would clutter up the lead. Serbian, for example, is as relevant as Slovak or Ukrainian.
- I see, but the main point of the sentence is that Elizabeth broke free from her mother-in-law's influence when the latter was sent to govern Poland. That did not happen the same day Casimir died, so giving a precise date might be an overkill.
- It took me awhile, but I think I found a way to incorporate the link without going into too much detail and straying off topic (the topic being the queen). Thanks a lot for adding other inter-wiki links! Surtsicna (talk) 16:20, 14 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  - I think that the names would look better in the lead than in the footnote, after all. Let's see if anyone else has an opinion on this. One more thing. The family tree section is unreferenced... Other than that, I am ready to support. --_{Piotr Konieczny aka Prokonsul Piotrus| reply here} 10:15, 15 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]
    - The family tree section is an illustration of relationships already described and referenced in preceding sections (modelled after Mary, Queen of Scots#Family tree). There is no single reference that would cover such a large and complex family tree, and I am not sure how copy-pasting references from the article body would work. I hope this won't be an issue. Thanks so much for your comments and suggestions! Surtsicna (talk) 12:30, 15 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]
      - I would like to hear from others on the what to do with the tree. In at least one of my GAs (Władysław IV Waza, IIRC) I had to (temporarily) remove it due to similar problem. --_{Piotr Konieczny aka Prokonsul Piotrus| reply here} 22:56, 15 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]
        I see that the difficulty of inserting citations in such tables was discussed at Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Mary, Queen of Scots/archive1. The solution reached there (and eventually discarded) could not be applied to this article. Parts of the family tree can be seen here and here. I have inserted these and also copied citations to Elizabeth's side of the family from the preceding sections, as those are rather simple relations (the identities of her parents and cousin and her mother's Polish heritage). To do so I had to add an additional sentence, because the citations have to follow something. I still believe that this is unnecessary, as the tree is a summary rather than a piece of information on its own - thus comparable to the lead section. You are probably correct, however, in thinking that some might nevertheless object to a lack of references there, so I would rather play safe. Surtsicna (talk) 00:41, 16 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]
        
        I think the article is fine now, I've already noted earlier that I am now supporting this. Thank you for your great job. --_{Piotr Konieczny aka Prokonsul Piotrus| reply here} 14:05, 19 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Comments (close to a support)

Firstly, apologies for coming to this late; missed it in the queues.
"the queen dowager secured the Polish throne for her youngest daughter, Hedwig" - I think the MOS on titles,

WP:JOBTITLES, would have this as the Queen Dowager, as it is standing in for her name.

" the ban of Bosnia " - similarly, see WP:JOBTITLES.
"he eventually dispatched Elizabeth" - we've got three Elizabeths by this point - probably worth spelling out which one this is.
"in order to regain Zachlumia." - any chance of adding in what this is? e.g. "to regain the town/province/etc. of Zachlumia."?
"The tsar" - as per WP:JOBTITLES.
"who hoped to counter Dušan's expansionist policy either with her father's help or as his eventual successor" - didn't quite work for me - the final clause didn't quite run smoothly.
" the young ban" - as per WP:JOBTITLES.
"the childless king's death" - ditto
"John's own death in 1360 made the extinction of the Hungarian House of Anjou a real possibility" - I think this is the first time the House is mentioned, and it probably needs explaining what it is.
"to the queen and king in 1365" - as per WP:JOBTITLE (and similar onwards)
"However, all copies have been lost" - given that you use the word "copy" in the previous sentence, perhaps "all versions" have been lost might be easier (we're not talking about the copy, or copies of the copy here, but all the texts)
"to the Polish nobility by the Privilege of Koszyce," - would "in the Privilege" or "through the Privilege" sound more natural?
" the centralization of power as means of ensuring" - a missing "a" before means
"In Hungary, he focused on the centralization of power as means of ensuring that his daughters' rights would be respected.[21] Securing marriage to one of the princesses was a priority in European royal courts." - these two sentences didn't quite flow together.
(more to come) Hchc2009 (talk) 15:10, 29 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Note: @Surtsicna: I haven't seen any activity from you on this article since before Hchc2009 posted his comments above. The fact that he may have more to add doesn't preclude you from actioning what's there, and unless you can do that soon I'll have to assume the nom is not progressing and archive it. Cehers, Ian Rose (talk) 11:59, 6 February 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Closing note: This candidate has been archived, but there may be a delay in bot processing of the close. Please see WP:FAC/ar, and leave the {{featured article candidates}} template in place on the talk page until the bot goes through. Ian Rose (talk) 13:17, 8 February 2014 (UTC)[reply]

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.