Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Departures (film)/archive1

The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was promoted by Ian Rose 03:51, 15 August 2014 [1].

Departures (film)

Nominator(s): — Crisco 1492 (talk) 10:58, 1 August 2014 (UTC) and Curly Turkey (talk)[reply]

Ladies and gentlemen, we, the Canadian expat nominators, have prepared a little departure for you. Join us and NK Agency as we take you to uncharted lands, celebrate great victories, hear of harrowing experiences, and cross the threshold between life and death.

"What's that?", you may ask. "Life and death?" Why yes. We bring you: Departures, the 2009 Japanese ode to morticians, a tale of self-discovery and a critique of the death taboo in Japan. Aside from completely dominating the 2009 Japanese Academy Prize ceremony, the film was its nation's first to win an Academy Award for Merit in the Best Foreign-language Film category. It created a tourism industry and led to renewed interest in traditional death ceremonies. And now a word from our sponsors.

Departures, the article, was made possible by the GA review of Dr. Blofeld and the PR contributions of SchroCat, Tim riley, and Wehwalt. Don't miss out on Departures, the list, in stores now! — Crisco 1492 (talk) 10:58, 1 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Support after so gripping a preview, and having my comments addressed at the peer review, what else can I say? I did enjoy it a great deal.--Wehwalt (talk) 11:19, 1 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Another satisfied customer! Departures, for YOU! (Psst... thanks for the review) — Crisco 1492 (talk) 11:21, 1 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Well, not only do I support this, but I support it, too, as well. Well, lookit there! WeYou have three supports! Fastest. Promotion. Ever. Kulukulu ⚞¡Hikimenntyou!⚟ 11:52, 1 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Source review - spotchecks not done

Be consistent in when you include locations for periodicals and how these are formatted
Check alphabetization of Works cited. Nikkimaria (talk) 22:01, 2 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
- Alphabetization fixed. I'll let Crisco decide what to do about locations. Curly Turkey ⚞¡gobble!⚟ 22:56, 2 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  - I've added locations for everything. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 03:03, 3 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Questions and comments from Lugnuts

In the hidden categories the page is in Category:Pages using citations with accessdate and no URL - I believe that's for when articles cite books and add an access date, so the access date needs to be removed.
It's also in the hidden category Category:CS1 errors: dates too.
And the last point - I notice it's written in Canadian English. What's the rationale for this? I guess it has something to do with Crisco's intro, above.

Thanks! Lugnuts ^{Dick Laurent is dead} 13:22, 5 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

- Both Curly and I are Canadians, and Japan doesn't have particularly strong national ties to a particular variety of English, at least not as meant by MOS:TIES. The article was essentially reworked from scratch. The version we started with was not even 8k, and didn't have a particular lean in EngVar. As far as I can tell, the shift to CadEng is then supported by WP:ENGVAR.
- The first category is coming from 光岡自動車の霊きゅう車　「おくりぐるま」を発売 and 米国アカデミー賞を受賞した、映画「おくりびと」待望の舞台化映画のその後を描く、新たな感動の物語 (why didn't I see that script earlier? Really nice). Curly-san, since you added these, could you give urls? Or were they paper sources?
  - Done. Curly Turkey ⚞¡gobble!⚟ 21:14, 5 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
- Second one is from the Sharkey reference, which is fixed, and the Film Comment review (bimonthly edition, May/June 2009), which doesn't seem fixable without misrepresenting the source. Or would an ndash be accepted by the code? — Crisco 1492 (talk) 15:31, 5 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  - Code accepts an ndash, so long as it's the unicode symbol –. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 15:35, 5 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

I'll review this soon. Seattle (talk) 17:25, 5 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

The archived URLs that are alive currently should use the "|deadurl=no" parameter
- Not required by the MOS or template:Cite web. The documentation for the template says it's optional, and my previous FAs have never used it. More a matter of style than policy. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 23:56, 5 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Because someone can read Japanese here, I would suggest creating the articles here you link to from the Japanese WP (i.e Aoki Shinmon (ja)). At least a stub is better than requiring our readers to read another language for context.
- We (as in Crisco) have actually been working through them bit by bit---there were a lot more before. Curly Turkey ⚞¡gobble!⚟ 21:14, 5 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  - Always so modest. Kundō Koyama, Sakata Minato-za, and Akira Sasō used to be redlinks. Personally, I'd rather write an article from scratch than translate the Japanese ones. The referencing in the Japanese ones might not be enough for an article to survive AFD. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 23:53, 5 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Until 1972, most deaths were dealt with by families any particular reason for the year 1972?
- 1972 is the year when it went from more than 50% to less---when it went from being a majority to a minority. Curly Turkey ⚞¡gobble!⚟ 21:14, 5 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  - Is there a particular reason for the change? Seattle (talk) 21:36, 5 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
    - I assume the rapidly increasing economy, urbanization, and pace of life, but the source is not explicit. Curly Turkey ⚞¡gobble!⚟ 21:44, 5 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Belief in the existence of a soul (54%) and a connection between the worlds of the living and the dead (64.9%) was likewise common. among the young, or the general population?
- General population. Curly Turkey ⚞¡gobble!⚟ 21:14, 5 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

In note "C" the ref should not be in all-caps
- While written in Roman characters, the all-caps is actually part of the Japanese title. Curly Turkey ⚞¡gobble!⚟ 21:14, 5 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  - See MOS:ALLCAPS point one. Seattle (talk) 21:36, 5 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
    - You don't understand---it's not Japanese written in Roman script, it's a Japanese title in Japanese script which happens to incorporate Roman characters---the Roman characters are only part of the title. Curly Turkey ⚞¡gobble!⚟ 21:44, 5 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
      - Actually, I think MOS:ALLCAPS' first point (about newspaper headlines) would apply to the title too. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 23:53, 5 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
        I still can't say I agree, but whatever, I've changed it. Curly Turkey ⚞¡gobble!⚟ 23:58, 5 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
The international success of Departures was big news in Japan ""Big" is a Word to watch, "big" is not universal. I would suggest attributing the word to Ide if said there.
- Reworded to "received considerable press attention". Curly Turkey ⚞¡gobble!⚟ 21:14, 5 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

I haven't got through all the article, but that's some of the review. Seattle (talk) 18:17, 5 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

That's about it. Seattle (talk) 18:40, 5 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Support; I was one of the happy reviewers at PR, and this article has only strengthened since then. - SchroCat (talk) 14:33, 8 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
- And thank you, once again, for your fantastic assistance! — Crisco 1492 (talk) 14:40, 8 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Support – from another of the peer reviewers. Clearly meets all the FA criteria for prose. A remarkably enjoyable read, evidently comprehensive, well proportioned and balanced. A fine page. Tim riley talk 14:51, 8 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
- Coming from the author of twenty-three magnificent featured articles, that's no small praise indeed. Thank you! — Crisco 1492 (talk) 14:56, 8 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Support Has improved since the GAR I did and looks worthy of an FA now. Well done!♦ Dr. Blofeld 11:51, 9 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
- Thank you for all of your help reviewing, Dr. B. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 11:54, 9 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

De nada. I've just killed two red links anyway.♦ Dr. Blofeld 17:11, 9 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Aoki Shinmon and Akasaka ACT. Thanks! — Crisco 1492 (talk) 00:17, 10 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Image review

File:The_altar_of_the_Japanese_Buddhism-style_funeral,saidan,japan.jpg: given the limitations on freedom of panorama in Japan, I don't think this would be covered. Nikkimaria (talk) 19:31, 9 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
- Hmm... are flower arrangements considered artistic works? I don't think I've ever come across that, but if we have precedent I'll remove the image. The 100% definitely copyrightable thing (the photograph) is de minimis and blurred. The altar looks more like a standardized presentation than a work of art... is it considered an artistic work? Also, Curly, do you know how common such altars are, and if variations are common? — Crisco 1492 (talk) 00:17, 10 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  - Definitely not an expert. I don't know how much creativity goes into these things, nor where the threshold of creativity lies for them. I can say that none of the funerals I've been to had an arrangement like the one in the picture (aside from the general idea of a photo in the middle and lots of flowers). It could be that funeral service chains, for example, may have copyrighted designs that then get repeated for thousands of funerals. A quick Google isn't turning anything up for me. It'll suck to have to lose another image. Maybe throw in a map of Yamagata's location in Japan? Mountains in Yamagata? Or maybe we could have a map made up showing the realative locations of Tokyo and Yamagata? Curly Turkey ⚞¡gobble!⚟ 01:19, 10 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
    - Hmm... I can't think of anything that would be more than decorative. Sucks, but I guess for now we'll have to lose the image. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 03:57, 10 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
      - Even a map? Most readers won't have a clue as to the geography. Curly Turkey ⚞¡gobble!⚟ 04:13, 10 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
        We don't have prose about the distance between Tokyo and Yamagata. If we had an image of the burning ceremony in Varansi, that would work nicely. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 04:28, 10 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
        I've reworked the images. Now to go shopping for lunch for my wife. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 04:49, 10 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Dank

As always, feel free to revert my copyediting.
"Takita explained that a younger actress would better represent the lead couple's growth out of naivety": This is my version, but I'm not sold on that wording. Maybe "would be more appropriate to portray"? - Dank (push to talk) 21:01, 13 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
- "Allow better representation", perhaps? Pretty sure the Mika character was meant to complement the Daigo character, rather than bear the burden of "growing out of naivety" — Crisco 1492 (talk) 21:12, 13 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
The note after "trans woman" is missing a }}. There's a sentence fragment there too; I don't know what's missing.
- Curly got this. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 07:17, 14 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"Several critics related Departures to the theme of death": Ugh.
- Modified. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 07:21, 14 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"¥3.2 billion": Probably go with "3.2 billion yen" at first occurrence, per WP:$. (I know that might not feel right, but MOSNUM is what it is, and I don't think it hurts.)

Done. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 07:17, 14 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

"As such": Just a note that most style guides don't consider this a synonym for "therefore". I've rewritten a couple of these, but I won't push it.
- A little more on that one. In the very next article I came to: "Plagis considered himself a Rhodesian flyer and wore shoulder flashes on his uniform denoting him as such." If you tend to use "as such" to mean "therefore", then in my experience, readers won't get the meaning here ("as a Rhodesian flyer"); they'll think it means something like "that way". Your use is common enough that I'm not comfortable prohibiting it (particularly because I'm trying for a small copyediting footprint) ... just be aware there's a price to pay in losing the original meaning of a sometimes-useful phrase. - Dank (push to talk) 23:17, 13 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"and was at once understated and pushed emotions across": Ugh.
- Reworked. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 07:21, 14 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"with humour which perfectly complimented the moving and meaningful story" but": quote marks missing
- Reworked. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 07:21, 14 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"nurse-cum-entrepreneur": As I was saying to Crisco ... in scholarly writing, sure. Wikipedia readers will giggle and scratch their heads.
- Reworked. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 07:21, 14 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Support on prose per standard disclaimer. These are my edits. Masterful handling of reviews and quotes. - Dank (push to talk) 21:59, 13 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
- Thanks for having a look at this, and your edits.. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 07:21, 14 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  - - Sure thing. Looks good. - Dank (push to talk) 11:59, 14 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.