Wikipedia:About but dystopian
 | This is a humorous essay. It contains the advice or opinions of one or more Wikipedia contributors and is made to be humorous. This page is not one of Wikipedia's policies or guidelines, as it has not been thoroughly vetted by the community. Some essays represent widespread norms; others only represent minority viewpoints. This essay isn't meant to be taken seriously. |
At Wikipedia, we are leading the charge in revolutionizing the way we access and consume knowledge on a global scale.
As the premier digital encyclopedia, we are proud to be at the forefront of the digital revolution, providing free and unrestricted access to the sum of all human knowledge to anyone with an internet connection.
With a community-driven, decentralized platform, our mission is to empower individuals and organizations to share, collaborate and innovate in ways that have never been possible before. And with our cutting-edge technology, user-friendly interface and unparalleled commitment to quality and accuracy, we are delivering on that promise every day.
Wikipedia is the go-to source for information on all branches of knowledge, attracting over a billion visitors monthly and counting. Our highly active and engaged community of contributors ensures that our content is constantly expanding and updating, providing readers with only the most current and relevant information.
Wikipedia is not just a source of information, Wikipedia is a movement. We believe that everyone has something valuable to contribute, and that's why we welcome anyone to add to or edit our text, references, and images.
We are committed to providing a platform that is inclusive and accessible to all, regardless of background or experience. But we also recognize that the quality and accuracy of our content is of the utmost importance. That's why we have strict policies in place to ensure that all contributions conform to our standards of verifiability and reliability.
At Wikipedia, we believe in the wisdom of the crowd. Our community-driven, decentralized platform harnesses the collective knowledge and expertise of our contributors, producing a more accurate, reliable, and comprehensive source of information than any individual or organization could achieve on their own. Join us in this exciting and rewarding journey of knowledge sharing and collaboration!
This essay is meant to be a cautionary tale for why a for-profit encyclopedia is not a good thing at all. It is adapted from the much less dystopian Wikipedia:About.