User talk:Xtina383/sandbox
Your wiki page is very informative and interesting. It flows smoothly and is easily understandable. You have the right amount of information for almost all of the sections. With mechanisms, try adding a little bit more information about the disease if you CAN find more information about it. I know that sometimes it gets hard looking for mechanisms especially for uncommon diseases. Otherwise, the information you have is good. Under the symptoms section, I like how you listed the symptoms, but you should also write brief descriptions for each of the symptoms because the professor wants you to describe the symptoms as well (written on the rubric). I really like how your information for both the “causes” and “treatment” sections aren’t overbearing; however, with the “treatment and prognosis” section, maybe try adding more information if you can find more. Under the recent research, maybe you can just use one of the articles and talk about that instead of talking about all three. Also, maybe a picture or even pictures could help only if Wikipedia has it. Otherwise, I enjoyed your page and think it looks great! Great job, you’re almost done! -Sunana Dhindsa
Your Wikipedia page is very informative, comprehensive, and is structured well. I would suggest linking more to your page for example "encephalitis", "convulsive seizures", "Korsakov's syndrome" etc. The audience would not be able to comprehend these terms normally. Additionally, I would suggest expanding on your recent research section, and instead of pasting the link within the section you could link the information to the references. Furthermore, instead of using psychoorganic syndrome to start off a lot of your sentences you can abbreviate or restructure the sentences to avoid redundancy. Overall, this is a great start to your Wikipedia article and I learned a lot about psychoorganic syndrome that I would not have known otherwise. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Ssheth01 (talk • contribs) 20:37, 12 November 2015 (UTC)
Ssheth01 (talk) 20:40, 12 November 2015 (UTC)== Peer Review ==
- Make sure that your writing flows. Especially your abstract currently reads as a bunch of chopped up sentences.
- Any historical information?
- Needs more links to other wikipedia pages.
- How do the organic solvents cause these changes?
- You seem to have a bunch of diagnosis information in your mechanism section.
- In fact your diagnosis is full of cause information. Make sure your section organization is consistent and makes sense.
- I look forward to reading your summaries of the research that you found. Once you have them, you should just cite the research like all your other references.
- There's a lot of great information here. You just need to focus on organizing it and making sure that it's readable.