User talk:Wattersac
| This user is a student editor in Appalachian_State_University/The_History_of_Coal_(Spring_2018) . |
Welcome!
[edit]Hello, Wattersac, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Shalor and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 14:33, 24 January 2018 (UTC)
Feedback
[edit]
Nice work on your draft, but you could do a better job of highlighting his contributions - his advocacy for mine safety probably comes up sooner in the lead. Something like this (though hopefully you can phrase it a bit better):
J. Davitt McAteer is an American lawyer, author, and activist who is known for advocacy for mine safety...
Pay attention to the regular sections that appear in a biography (have a look at the brochure I linked to).
One thing though - you need to find better sources. You should be relying primarily on independent third-party sources, not ones that have an interest in being promotional (like press releases or bios at his alma mater). His publications look pretty significant - can you find reviews of them, or something like that?
He's a major figure - make sure your readers know that. Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 19:45, 20 March 2018 (UTC)