User talk:TreaBunny
| This user is a student editor in University_of_Oklahoma/Sex_and_Gender_in_Early_Christianities_(Spring_2023) . |
Peer Review
[edit]The information presented in the lead is quite concise, so you may consider expanding it to walk the reader through the article's major sections as part of your revisions. All of the content added is relevant to the topic and it does focus on one of Wikipedia's equity gaps (the subject is a biblical woman).
The addition of a significance section helped me to understand the impact of her biblical role which I appreciated. I know we are still in the early stages of revisions, so as you continue, it may be beneficial to add a quote from your sources on Blandina and motherhood in the significance section so that the information can be attributed to a concrete passage/source. It was very helpful to link the 4 Maccabees article in this new section as well to provide the reader with easy access to further information. Your grammatical revisions to the preexisting passages were helpful and accurate. The article feels more complete overall-- with the addition of quotes in the significance section, it would give even more depth to its level of completion. Additionally, you could consider adding more information to the original article's section on her legacy and provide more context on the feast as well as the communes (the communes may not need too much context since it does link to an article about them, but it would be helpful to have a bit of context before visiting that article).
Your bibliography has great academic sources that are relevant to the topic. It's great that you used an annotated bibliography format for your separate bibliography page-- I should do the same to keep track of what each source is being used for.
Your article revisions are helpful to me in my own writing because I never considered the option of adding a new section to the article in order to expand on a specific point of research! Olivia Jameson (talk) 15:49, 11 April 2023 (UTC)
- I really appreciate your criticism and I think you made some excellent suggestions. I will definitely be going back to the lead and editing it to include my new additions and sections, this was something I completely forgot about so I appreciate your reminder. I will also definitely look into which short quotes from my sources that I could add to the significance section to give more depth to my article. TreaBunny (talk) 21:51, 13 April 2023 (UTC)
Response to Peer Review
[edit]Thank you so much for your kind and helpful review of my article! I've gone back and added links to other Wikipedia pages for terminology I've added that may help provide further context on the musical side of things. Some of the terminology or names of groups (ex. Daughters of the Covenant) do not yet have pages, but I added them anywhere I could! I'll keep that in mind for any additional information I include in the future as well. Thank you! Olivia Jameson (talk) 19:27, 12 April 2023 (UTC)
Peer Review 2
[edit]Whose work are you reviewing? TreaBunny
Link to draft you're reviewing https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:TreaBunny/Blandina?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template Link to the current version of the article (if it exists) Blandina - Wikipedia Evaluate the drafted changes The current lead section contains a generous amount of historical information that is extremely helpful for a well-rounded understanding of the context of Blandina's persecution. There is a dialogue between the legend of Blandina and the actual manner of Christian persecution during the reign of Marcus Aurelius that lends to a better understanding of what is commonplace and what details might have been exaggerated to add significance to the story. The lead section is very helpful, but one detail that might make it more useful would be the incorporation of the specific treatment of female Christians - in this way, it would help introduce why Blandina's story is significant before the actual discussion of gender and martyrdom that our assignment is focused on.
In terms of your Significance section, I feel like it is a very good start. I think, however, that some of the terminology might not immediately make sense to people outside of academia. The description of Blandina as an "athlete" might be confused with the contemporary use of the term, so I think giving a brief description of the Early Christian idea of "athletes" would help. The focus on her as a mother would also be helped by introducing Ponticus in the Traditional History section in the mention of Blandina's companions. I'm not sure if this is known, but it might be beneficial to elaborate on how Blandina and Ponticus were related outside of the matrydom, if at all.
With my current understanding of the topic, this articles read as mostly neutral to me. As the bulk of it is made up of historical context, rather than discussion of theological and cultural significance, I think it currently avoids much bias. This might change when more is added about Blandina's particular importance as a female martyr, but for now, I think it is good in this area, especially with the edits you have made in the Traditional History portion.
Your bibliography seems great! I see both resources from class and outside. I would be really interested to see how The Myth of Persecution might aid in the discussion of Blandina's significance and influence how her legend is told, it seems like a really interesting source.
Your article helped me a lot! The intense cultural significance leading up to her legend was not only really interesting, but it tied together a lot of what we've touched on about regional vs empire-wide persecution. To have that robust basis before delving into Blandina's story makes it very well-rounded and has inspired me to try to better tie the myths surrounding my topic to its context. They inform each other and elucidate the cultural significance very well. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Jpeashoes (talk • contribs) 22:36, 12 April 2023 (UTC)
- I really enjoyed going over your critiques and suggestions for my article and appreciate your feedback. Thanks to your feedback I will definitely go back into the traditional history section to add references to some of the other martyrs Blandina was with, specifically Ponticus, to help provide more background for my significance section. I will also make sure to include context when I delve deeper into the significance section. Thank you! TreaBunny (talk) 21:58, 13 April 2023 (UTC)
Response to Peer Review
[edit]Hello, thanks for the help! I appreciate your comments. I definitely agree with the sentiment that there needs to be more substantial edits in order to provide some real change & information on the topic at hand. The "Other" typo has been deleted too. I'll make sure to keep in mind your critiques for the Lead section as I started to add more. Jpeashoes (talk) 11:38, 18 April 2023 (UTC)
Welcome!
[edit]Hello, TreaBunny, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Brianda and I work with Wiki Education; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Brianda (Wiki Ed) (talk) 23:40, 25 April 2023 (UTC)