User talk:Torressy

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Hello, Torressy, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Shalor and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.

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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 18:03, 8 October 2018 (UTC)

Peer Review

I don't know why you removed the sentences about ways of treating CP, seems like good information. The history of the study of the disease seems like its in a weird place, maybe it should be put after the first paragraph and before the second, it seems like history type of stuff like that is good to have early on. I think the lead section is good, gives an overview of what CP is, but maybe some of the specifics can be saved for later sections. I don't know if the article has section headers on the main page, but if not I think it would definitely be good to include headers before each paragraph about the topic of the paragraph. The range of topics is good, it talks about what CP is, what causes it, the history of people studying it, and the treatments. I think that order is quite good, I might put the history before what causes it but I don't think that'll make a big difference either way. Looking at the sources, it looks like a lot of the information comes from whatever source is number 1, which could be a bit unbalanced. But also if you get good info from it that's good. Overall it seems like a pretty solid article, it seems like you made lots of good edits for conciseness and grammar, maybe a bit more content or sourcing would be good but I think the article is really solid, and it covers all of the bases it needs to cover.

My Response

Thank you for your feedback. The reason I removed the sentence about the different therapies used for treating CP is because I do not feel it is necessary to list all of the therapies in the lead section. I think that simply stating that therapy is one of the ways to help treat CP is enough for the lead and then later in the article it is important that it is expanded on. I also agree that the history is in a weird place. It was difficult to ind a good place for it. I will consider changing it to where you suggested and see if that helps the flow of the lead.

Leads

Generally we have leads follow the order of the content in the body of the text.

Plus your edit broke all the references in the lead. Doc James (talk · contribs · email) 17:43, 3 November 2018 (UTC)