User talk:Tmaldona
| This user is a student editor in Xavier_University_of_Louisiana/Human_Rights_in_Global_History_-02_(Fall_2018) . |
Welcome!
[edit]Hello, Tmaldona, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Shalor and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 13:41, 27 August 2018 (UTC)
Sex trafficking in Thailand
[edit]Hi! I have some notes for you:
- When adding sourcing, make sure that it's the best possible sourcing. I'd avoid websites like End Slavery Now, as we can't really guarantee how much editorial oversight they apply to their blogs. I don't doubt that it's all accurate, but Wikipedia is picky. Something like this or this is good, though.
- Be careful of wording. The reason for this is that some words can be harder for ESL readers to really understand, like flock. It's something that may seem obvious to us, but may not be as obvious to others since it has multiple meanings. I had someone caution me on this in the past, when I used the term "passed away" to refer to a death, to bring up a personal example.
- Make sure that you're careful with how content is written as far as timelines go and info goes. In the article you mention that prostitution was abolished in 1905, after mentioning how prostitution flourished in the 70s, which was a little confusing. Also, the source mentions that slavery was abolished in 1905, which left some slave wives alone without financial support, forcing them to turn to prostitution to support themselves. Prostitution itself was prohibited in the 90s under the 1996 Prevention and Suppression of Prostitution Act. Make sure that you are accurate in how things are laid out and reported
I think that this is an excellent topic to expand on, so good choice! Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 18:05, 10 September 2018 (UTC)
This was such a good contribution! You used your sources excellenty and you did well not using a persuasive tone. I also really like your use of statistics. The only suggestion I have is to maybe edit this sentence "This is when men involved in these wars needs a distraction.". There are mild typos in it. I would maybejust change it to "This is when the men involved in these wars needed distractions". However, overall I think you did a very good job with this page.