User talk:TaylorSwiftyBoot/sandbox
Review of page
[edit]The article looks great! My only suggestion would be to give the demographics their own section. The history of different groups in the district definitely belongs in the history section, but the hard numbers might feel better as a separate section. Also, make sure you've really cited every statement. Almost everything it cited well, but there a re a few spots that might need some sourcing. Overall, lots of great detailed info! You've really improved upon the stub article. Mk edwards (talk) 22:50, 18 November 2016 (UTC)
Review
[edit]Lead Section
1. First sentence defines the topic-- Fillmore. It is very clear and specific. You may want to reference its relationship to diverse communities and music.
2. Background: Clear and easy to find Significant: It is significant because it represents a cultural hot spot. Controversies: None
3. Summary:
4. Tone: Fillmore District is important because it is a place where many cultures co-exist. Your tone sounds very neutral and fair.
TOC
5. I feel like "Financial Role" could be placed under "Redevelopment"
6. TOC is in order
7. I would combine Financial Role and Redevelopment
Sections and Sub-Sections
8. Content does fit
9. Your paragraphs look very well organized
10. Of course, there needs to be more information for the Jewish community. However, the rest of the paragraphs look very flush with information.
11. Statements are cited!!!
Tone
1. The article sounds encyclopedic and professional
2. It is very neutral and objective. Great job
3. It is formal and not colloquial
4. Good job not using slang.