User talk:Tatej

Summary

Originally, I wanted to do my topic on coping mechanisms in youth. However, while searching Wikipedia for articles to edit, I didn't find an article that stuck out to me. As i searched for a new topic, I came across Runaway (dependent). It is a great topic to research, and I am sure there are plenty of resources to build on the theme. Fortunately for me, there is very little information on the Wikipedia page. This would be a great place to contribute and expand the on the current information.

The first step in researching this topic was searching Wikipedia to ensure there were no similar articles in the database. Once this was completed, i began to look for external sources through the Drake Library database. I quickly found some articles that would work well and provide me with a great deal of information.

In order to put my research topic in a global context, I will add on to the current information on North America, as well as add in at least one other country. I have yet to decide on the additional countries. However, by continuing my research on runaways, I will be able to assess which country would be the best addition to the page.

Draft Feedback

Tatej,

Good start, but you'll need to add quite a bit more information. Some suggestions for how to go about this would be trying to tie in the article more with the section, i'm sensing a bit of disconnect. Another option that would help open up your article as global would be adding another example of a country or region, like you talked about doing earlier. Also start thinking about where this section will fit within the article, maybe put the rest of the article in the sandbox to help contextualize the information. If you do this, just make sure that you've noted somewhere in the sandbox what sections you've worked on. Awesome job!

AbbeyMaynard (talk) 01:20, 24 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Feedback for your runaway draft

Hi Tatej.

I'm glad you selected Runaway (dependent) for your article. It could definitely use a more global approach to the subject.

I see that you've added sections for India and China in your sandbox. For now I'll just be providing feedback for those sections:

Several of the sentences in the India section strike me as opinions rather than statements of fact. These sentences weren't followed by references, so I don't know if they appeared in the sources you used or not. We should be able to source each sentence to one of the references you're using. Would you be able to indicate the reference used for each sentence?
I was confused by the statement "For female adolescents in India, the ultimate decision to runaway from home stems from the love of a male partner." I'm not sure how you're using 'ultimate' here, but it makes it sound as if all female adolescents who run away have male partners.
The statement "respectful young people should be treated nicely" is a great sentiment, but it doesn't belong in an encyclopedic treatment of the subject.
You said that in India 'marriages are prearranged'. Since that is not universally true throughout India, it should be reworded.
I'm glad you mentioned Nari Sanrakshan Gruh. Are these present throughout India? Will a young woman be escorted to a Nari Sanrakshan Gruh in another city even if one exists in her own city? The wording you used here implies that she would be.
Your last sentence in the India section says that families of runaways are likely to commit suicide. Did you mean the family or the runaway?
It looks as if you're using a mix of different referencing styles. I think the article already had a mix of styles before you came along. If you don't mind, I can go through and standardize the referencing style so that it is less confusing.
A couple of your sentences are in quotes and referenced (Khurana 2004; Ngai, Cheung, Xie, & Sun, 2001). These would be clearer if they were contextualized by saying for example "According to Khurana's 2004 study, '... '. Otherwise if you would prefer not to use quotes, you could put the facts into your own words.

That's what I have for now. Let me know if you need me to clarify or if you have any questions. Gobōnobō ⁺ ^c 22:30, 11 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Draft Feedback

Here are a few final suggestions before your article goes live.

Reorder the by country area-- there's a lot of western bias just in the way you arrange them. ALso, rename the North America section to the United States. I understand your trying to make it less western by doing this, but its actually making conclusions about all of North America by doing this. I would plan on expanding of the China section if you have time. Throwaway children-- especially because of the pressure to have male children-- are likely to be a topic with tons of interest and research. There's one sentence that particularly bother me and should be reworded or omitted. It's the one that begins with "young people should be treated nicely" or something like that. I would also expand on case studies. There's this book and a documentary called "Half The Sky" about opprossed and abused women all over the world, you might find it helpful.

The format of examples is tremendous. I like that you've kept the format the same. Nice work.

AbbeyMaynard (talk) 21:12, 13 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]

December 2013

Hello, I'm BracketBot. I have automatically detected that your edit to Runaway (dependent) may have broken the syntax by modifying 1 "()"s. If you have, don't worry: just edit the page again to fix it. If I misunderstood what happened, or if you have any questions, you can leave a message on my operator's talk page.

List of unpaired brackets remaining on the page:

TEACHERS, AND PEERS AND EARLY ADOLESCENT RUNAWAY IN HONG KONG." Adolescence 40(158):403-24 (http://search.proquest.com/docview/195937191?accountid=10555</ref>. The [[Social control theory]]

Thanks, BracketBot (talk) 03:33, 14 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]