User talk:T-slice16/sandbox

Below is what I intend to change/add within the article (info in parentheses is for personal editing tips/notes/ideas)

FIND: Plight of soldiers (quotes of soldiers, can probably be found in John B. Floyd article) Types of weapons utilized….(important?)...yes. Gives depth to preparedness of both sides. Description of Headquarter positions Effect on Confederate moral and trust in command Article stresses the rising of Grant in to the limelight…what about the failures of the Confederate generals? (this might be mentioned actually)

I will be focusing heavily on the "Aftermath" section of the article as I feel most of the page's shortcomings rest in this aforementioned portion.

Peer Editing

Hey! The article looks good so far! I just have a few comments -In the sentence " “With the fall of the forts, the entire picture of the “War in the West” was changed almost overnight." There is an open quotation mark at the beginning that I am not sure where it ends in the paragraph. -The part about Grant dying from lung cancer is probably not necessary to this article but you could link Grant to his wikipedia page where it says that so if the reader is curious more on Grant then they can find their information there and you don't need to include it. -I agree that the "(close to a third of all of Johnston's forces)" is abrupt so you could consider rewriting the sentence to read something like "...sacrificed some fourteen thousand officers and men, equalling almost a third of his forces" -In connection with my first point, I think linking other articles to this one will help the reader find more information so I would suggest linking "Battle of Shiloh" -Also, there is a lot of information that is not cited in the article like "The rest of Johnston's forces were 200 miles (320 km) apart",and "The Chicago Tribune wrote that 'Chicago reeled mad with joy.'" -At the bottom of the sandbox you have the quote from Kendall D. Gott that I think shapes the whole article so definitely work that quote into it. I would suggest putting it at the beginning of the section but it may work best at the end in a conclusion like statement.