User talk:Student1543/sandbox
Feedback on article contribution
[edit]Comments are in no particular order:
- First off - you've done an especially admirable job integrating multiple sources into a coherent and meaningful contribution. Skillful integration of sources is an important technique in many genres.
- There are a lot of quotations in a short contribution. Look critically at whether they are all serving purposes that would not be as well served with your own words. I'd argue that some are keepers and some might not be keepers.
- There is a naked "this." And in the same sentence, parents is not a possessive.
- Looks like "assignments to a sex category" should be singular. You are talking, throughout that sentence, about singular entities.
- A natural avenue for expansion/elaboration would be further discussion of institutional influences, but that is certainly not the only opportunity.Jagrif02 (talk) 11:33, 19 October 2016 (UTC)