User talk:SportsScienes

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Cookies to welcome you! Hello, SportsScienes! Thank you for your contributions. My name's Brambleclawx and I just wanted to say hi and Welcome to Wikipedia! If you need help, try looking at some of the links below, which will help you get the most out of the world's largest encyclopædia. If you have any questions, feel free to ask me on my talk page, or place {{helpme}} on your talk page and ask your question there. I love to help new users, so don't be afraid to leave a message! Please remember to sign your name on talk pages by clicking or by typing four tildes "~~~~"; this will automatically produce your name, the date and the time. If you are already loving Wikipedia, you might want to consider being "adopted" by a more experienced editor or joining a WikiProject to collaborate with others in creating and improving articles of your interest. Click here for a directory of all the WikiProjects. Finally, please do your best to always fill in the edit summary field every time you edit. Again, welcome, and happy editing! Brambleclawx 23:04, 24 June 2010 (UTC) Getting Started Wikipedia Tutorial • The five pillars of Wikipedia How to: edit a page • upload an image Getting Help Frequently Asked Questions Where to ask questions or make comments Request administrator attention Policies and Guidelines Neutral point of view • Reliable sources Verifiability • Citing sources • No original research What Wikipedia is not • Biographies of living persons Manual of Style • Three-revert rule • Sock puppetry Copyrights • Policy for non-free content • Image use policy External links • Spam • Vandalism Deletion policy • Conflict of interest • Notability The Community Community Portal • Adopt-a-user program Assume good faith • Civility • Etiquette No personal attacks • Resolving disputes Build consensus • Village pump Signpost • IRC channels • Mailing lists Things to do Be bold in editing • Help develop an article Pages needing attention • Peer review Join a WikiProject • Translating articles Cleaning up: General • Spam • Vandalism Miscellaneous Categories • Disambiguity • Stubs User pages • Talk pages Useful templates • Tools User scripts

International Sports Sciences Association

Thanks for the message on my talk page. There are a few things that IMHO make the article read like an advertisement:

1. The opening sentence of the "History" section sounds like something from the history section of the subject's website. There are similar tone issues which I will take a look at.
2. There is way too much detail about the founders. Again, it all sounds very website-ish. Similarly, the "Other contributors" should be eliminated.
3. The "Additional affiliations" section should be reduced to those that have articles, otherwise it's just an indiscriminate list.
4. Per WP:EL, the inline external links, or at least those not being used as references, should be removed and the list of ELs at the end of the article should also be pared down.

Hope this helps. – ukexpat (talk) 00:55, 20 July 2010 (UTC)

FWIW, I do AGF on your creation of this article, but i concur with Ukexpat on all points. However, a good rewrite should put things in order. When you've done that, don't hesitate to ask if you would like me to check it over.--Kudpung (talk) 01:40, 20 July 2010 (UTC)

Hello Kudpung--I've done some revisions if you'd like to check it over/offer any other suggestions. I'd appreciate it! Also, I'm not familiar with Wikipedia jargon--AGF? Thanks! --SportsScienes (talk) 21:25, 16 August 2010 (UTC)