User talk:Sofiariv10/sandbox

Daisy's Peer Review

You have included a substantial amount of ideas for edit which is great! I would love to see these in an actual draft. From what I have read in others' comments, you should include the sources used. Also, much of their comments reflects the subjectivity presented in the revision points. I recommend that you expand each with information that sounds encyclopedic and remove what ideas you may use in each.

Peer Review

First off, I just want to say that I think out of most articles, you did a wonderful job with breaking up all of your main talking points. You utilized spacing, bold, and organization to generate a steady flow. With that being said, I think there are a few cases here where I was reading more of an 'opinion' than something of fact, and I think it sounded more of an opinion because you would state something and there wouldn't be a source of truth or a citation to follow up with it. For example, under "The Occupy Factor" and "Institutional Change" you made some bold statements about the movement being tied down and the 1% still having all the power, but there was a lack of research and data to back this up. I think most people can agree that the 1% are still powerful, but again, these are just opinions and they should be backed with stronger, data.

Besides the overuse of opinion type statements that lack citations, I thought you did a good job with organizing the information and citing the citations you did use properly. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Lentyski8 (talk • contribs) 06:47, 21 October 2017 (UTC)