User talk:Slacassagne/sandbox

Slacassagne In the third paragraph, try to avoid saying “in the last decade”. Be more specific with time, that is something our professor said. Very neutral No “I’s” or “you” In the last paragraph, maybe you should change “has been around for a very long time” to something like, “The history of sexist advertisements dates back to…” Try not to use “just” (in the last paragraph) Also review sentences with the word “that” and see if it will still make sense without the word. My old English teacher says it gets overused and we don’t realize it. Shannonacosta (talk) 13:15, 27 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Slacassagne • “According to (blank), one of the most significant shifts in advertising in the last decade….” • “Sexist advertisement has been around for very…..” no opinions • Beginning of last paragraph too informal and opinionated • You don’t have any slang or use “I” or “you” • Reduce unnecessary phrases Dguari1 Dguari1 (talk) 13:19, 27 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]