User talk:Shiqinglboston/sandbox
1. In the natural change section, you need to elaborate more on what is "leaf peeping" and why the foliage peak time is important to predict. It would then be more logical to write about the factors influencing the peak time.
2. Is there any other natural changes in addition to leaf color change?
3.Before starting on specific events, you might want to insert a short introduction saying there are various cultural events in many towns of New England in Autumn.
4. In the travel destinations section, it could be better to give readers a heads up about the following content, for example, "there are many famous travel destinations in New England, such as ..." Then maybe separate those destinations into individual paragraphs.
Yuehan wang (talk) 04:23, 29 November 2017 (UTC)Yuehan
Peer review for The autumn in New England
[edit]Well done!
What I really like about the edits:
- I think the language you used are good - no jargons, easy to understand.
- You provided detailed introductions to the culture and events.
What I suggest for further edits:
- In the section of Natural change, you only mentioned the change of leaf colors. I understand that this is your focus, but there should be other changes in addition to changes of leaf colors that you should explain. Temperature, precipitation, humidity, etc. should be introduced, too, even with just one or two sentences.
- Add links to the places and events which already have their own wiki pages.
- I felt like the towns and places you wrote for "In popular culture and events" are also "travel destinations". Or maybe you can write "travel destinations" first, and then "popular culture and events". Or maybe you could change the section titles into "cultural events" for section 2 and "natural travel destinations" for section 3? Also, the North Adams paragraph in "in popular culture and events" does not fit into "culture" or "event", rather it is more like "natural travel destinations". I would put this paragraph into travel destination.
- For travel destination, maybe split these destination into individual paragraphs.