User talk:Shainamarco/sandbox

Peer Review Comments

Hello, I'm Nea in your POLI 150 C class. A few comments for the section you have planned:

The second paragraph and perhaps the third could be included under the lead section of the main article when you add it.

Maybe an expansion of what the military-industrial complex has accomplished since the time of Eisenhower.

Overall, I think you have a good contribution. :)

Hi Nea, thank you so much for your comments. I really like the suggestion of placing my second paragraph in the lead section of the article. I will also work on looking for more instances that show how the military-industrial complex has been in action since Eisenhower. Shainamarco (talk) 01:32, 23 February 2017 (UTC)

Hello, I'm Alonso and I am just returning the favor after you commented on my work the other day. Overall, I would say I like what you have. Notwithstanding, hopefully you could elaborate on how the two greatest wars since the Eisenhower administration, Vietnam and Iraq --and, by the metric, also the two greatest American fiascos in recent times-- contributed to the military-industrial complex's proliferation. I think this will probably give you a good amount of things to add to your article. Also, as far as business interest go, you can mention how there are some conspiracy theories that say President Johnson's involvement and escalation of the Vietnam War was due to the fact that his wife, Lady Bird Johnson, was born in one of the most prominent families that dealt in the military-industrial complex. All in all, my point is this: if you have a boat, you will want a body of water where to play with it. The same is said about the military-industrial complex and wars. Agarcia101 (talk) 02:30, 23 February 2017 (UTC)

Hi Alonso, thank you for your extensive feedback. I appreciate these recommendations and will look into them to see how I can include them in this section.

Hi, I'm Colleen and I am in your POL 150 class as well. I really thought you did a great job starting with the history and building from there. My recommendation would be to expand that history (If Eisenhower coined that term, what happened during that time to cause such a term, etc.). I would also be careful about biases just because saying the money "clearly" led to the passing of a bill could be taken as a certain side. Overall, very good job. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Colleen1596 (talk • contribs) 03:13, 23 February 2017 (UTC)

Thank you Colleen, I appreciate it! I corrected that statement :)

Hey Shaina, great use of the sources you already have but perhaps cite your first paragraph on Eisenhower and the Iron Triangle? Otherwise everything else seems perfect grammer-wise. Just make sure the sources you have aren't biased so that we can argue for neutrality. The only other thing I can add is that this is definitely a great point that belongs in this article, so expanding it a little more would benefit it greatly. Anapandrade (talk) —Preceding undated comment added 03:34, 23 February 2017 (UTC)

Thank you so much, yes I was surprised it wasn't included already!

Hello, I really appreciate you having terms definitions and who coined them. It helps your article illustrate a more ethos. Try also, if you believe it applies, how it can affect further relations between countries and how it should be handle, based upon the evidence you have gathered. Sarias19 (talk) 19:07, 2 March 2017 (UTC)