User talk:ScottsdalePrincess/sandbox
ScottsdalePrincess Peer Review
[edit]Hi, I would like to start by saying that your edits and additional information added content that definitely needed to be included within the existing article. I admire the way you described the subject of African Philosophy. Your edit states that the subject "pertains to the philosophical discourse . . ." This absolutely impressed me and expressed a much clearer definition. However, I believe that the edit as a whole can be much more clear in terms of how the sentences are structured. Secondly, in relation to edit 2, the information is clear and sufficient. But, I noticed that there are statements such as, "Gade argues that the ethnophilosophical approach to African philosophy as a static group property is highly problematic. His research on ubuntu presents an alternative collective discourse on African philosophy." This statement alone seems to sound a lot like an academic paper. I went ahead and looked at the existing article and saw that this structure was primarily already written in that format. Nevertheless, I do think that you can definitely continue the editing process to express much more neutral point of view. Also, I noticed that your edit was added in the "Definition" section, may I suggest, creating a "Background" section of the article? Some of the information that you added and edited can be incorporated there, which can help improve the structure of the article. I suggest that you do some slight revision on the edits and the references format. Lastly, I think you chose a great article to edit and that you're making good progress. Preciousg11 (talk) 02:41, 28 February 2019 (UTC)
Response:
-Edits made a significant contribution -Edits added clarity -Improve grammar and wording -Improve the flow of the article
Hey, thank you so much for your response! Your edits are on point and I am studying to see how I can incorporate your ideas into my article. This is a topic I'm really passionate about and I think the first draft by other authors didn't really do it justice. There is so much African philosophy but it's really just philosophy. I believe that Africans and their descendants had worthwhile thoughts and ideas and I hope I get to chance to help their voices be heard! I can say in my brief study of some of their contributions has really changed my life. ScottsdalePrincess (talk) 04:14, 6 March 2019 (UTC)