User talk:Sconnelly12/sandbox

Belagha (talk) 19:00, 18 November 2020 (UTC) -I think this is a really great article that hit a lot of key points and answered the questions I had. -I think adding more pictures would definitely help with this article and to understand more what this disorder looks like -If you are looking to add in more detail maybe you can briefly discuss the difference between the 5 types of AMD -Under causes maybe you can find more information on which gene causes this disorder Belagha (talk) 18:59, 18 November 2020 (UTC) Belagha (talk) 18:58, 18 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Unfortunately there are no pictures available to use to help see what the disease looks like.
In my pathophysiology section, I did include the 5 different types and what gene is altered to cause this disease.
I will try and look up more information on each type and discuss the differences between them. The only thing I could find was the different genes affected, but maybe I can find physical difference each type causes. Thank you!

--Sconnelly12 (talk) 20:06, 18 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

I did go back and add in a section describing what the different types do to the body.

--Sconnelly12 (talk) 23:15, 9 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]

I liked how for the signs and symptoms section you described a lot of the signs with detail and then listed the symptoms. That added a nice flow to the section!
Since your disease is a genetic trait, perhaps adding a ‘Genetics’ section might be a good idea. You can emphasize and add more things on how exactly genetics plays a role.
Since in the first paragraph, you used the kyphosis and lumbar hyperlordosis treatment to say they are similar to that of your disease, you should reiterate this in the treatment section. This way it all makes sense, and is explained more if not then you can just move that last sentence completely to the treatment section. There you start talking more about it.
In the diagnosis section, where you talk about the 5 types of AMD, you can probably move that entire part to the first paragraph of your article. Therefore, that first paragraph has more information in general of the disease, and the diagnosis part is just focused on that.
Overall, you did a good job! All your paragraphs contain a lot of information.

Jvanegas10 (talk) 17:30, 19 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for pointing out the kyphosis and lumbar hyperlordosis treatment out. It was originally there, I will go back and add more information related to that.
I will look to add more in my intro paragraph, thank you for the idea!

--Sconnelly12 (talk) 18:50, 21 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Your wiki page looks great! There is an excellent flow to it!
I noticed that there is a lot of talk about the genetic mutations and how the genes can go from one generation to the next. I would suggest, although I know it is not a requirement from the rubric, if you made a separate genetics section. Where you can discuss your findings in a little bit more detail. Very interesting topic by the way.
I see that it is genetic, however, is there any way to counter this disease in infants. You spoke about therapies but can young children undergo this, without side effects?
You spoke about the 5 types of AMD, I think it would be helpful to write a briefly on what the 5 different types are.
Overall your page looks great! There is a lot of information there, pictures would really spice up your page as well, however, I know how difficult it is to find something on wikimedia that actually relates

--Awarsi77 (talk) 23:43, 19 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

For the genetics part, that is all the information I could find, but I will consider making it as a genetics section. I am not sure if I will be able to find anything else on that topic, but I will do some more research!
There is nothing you can do to prevent this disease since it is either inherited from the parents or the gene mutates on its own. The therapies are used to stimulate growth, which is ideal to do during puberty. I will elaborate on that section to make that clear that young infants should not be injected with growth hormones. Sadly, there is not too much information on the side effects other than that it does not help the person grow a few centimeters. The other therapies mentioned, such as exercises or braces would be beneficial for any age group affected by this disease.
The five different types differ from the gene mutated which I briefly described, I did not find much information on how each type affects a person physically. They all have the same issues such as stunt in growth and abnormal curvature to the spine. I will do more research to see if one effects some symptoms more than the others.
I wish I could find a picture to show the disease, but I could not find any. I will keep trying to find one. Thank you!

--Sconnelly12 (talk) 18:50, 21 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

I could not find a picture unfortunately, but I did go back an elaborate on the different types.

--Sconnelly12 (talk) 23:15, 9 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]

This is well-organized and well cited.
Some of your genes have their own wiki articles. You should link to them.
The first sentence of your causes section doesn't make sense.
Some of your phrasing is a little confusing. I would encourage you to read this over with someone else to have them catch any issues. There are also some sentence fragment and grammar issues.
In general, a bunch more links to other wiki articles would be good.

--Sweiner02 (talk) 01:17, 22 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]