User talk:Sarahputirka/Self-Portrait as a Female Martyr

Peer Review

The lead is strong and covers all the bases. After reading the entire article, the lead does serve as a good intro and outline. Is there anymore information you an add later in the article about the inscription on the back?

The description is really helpful. The background information about the depiction of palms and martyrdom really helped me. “If the palm frond wasn’t there, the self-portrait of a martyr would turn into just a self-portrait” is a really important sentence because I didn’t know that! Is there anything that can be said about the way she is dressed?

I noticed that a sentence kept from the original article says, “The awkward proportion of the hand…” To me, the word “awkward” indicates someone’s opinion so if at all possible, maybe try to follow the source and see if that’s clearly said. If so, you could say something like “In her book, Jane Doe notes the awkward proportion of the hand…” During the Wikipedia trainings, I remember learning that if you say “suggest(s),” you should say who suggests that, like a specific author or scholar.

The painting materials section is a great addition! I think it’s really important to note that the use of a wood panel was sort of a rare occurrence for Artemisia. The only thing I would add is citations after the last few sentences to build reliability. I’ve never heard of sfumato so I learned something new from your article! If you wanted to, you could also include a short sentence similar to "This was one of two paintings done by Artemisia on a wood panel, the other being x" with a link to the other painting.

Sort of the same note for the History section: just add some citations after sentences that don’t have them if you can! I think some of the information about Artemisia is a bit broad and might not relate to the painting, such as the information about painting people in the nude and being the first woman to join Florence’s Academy of Design. I also think that “greatest achievement” might indicate some bias. I would maybe break up this section into two paragraphs so it’s a bit easier on the eyes to read—maybe dividing it before “The artist, Gentileschi, painted this portrait depicting herself as a female martyr when she was twenty-two.” The end of your paragraph is really strong! I like that you include the analysis of the painting from a dissertation. I would just add in citations, and also make sure you’re emphasizing that the author was saying “the woman looks very soft” and “there is no pity emitting from the painting.”

I wonder if you could find a source that has a different interpretation of this painting that doesn’t tie it into her rape (only because we discussed in class how everything she did was seen through this lens of the assault so it would be nice to try to look at the painting outside of that).

The provenance section is short and sweet; it says exactly what it needs to! I’d just add in a citation after the sentence about Ignazio Hugford.

Your sections are organized well; the overall flow of the article is great. I think you did a great job at representing different viewpoints, especially at the end of your history section. The tone isn't too positive or too negative; it's well balanced. You’re not trying to convince anyone of anything and I can’t tell what your opinions are, which is good! The only area where this might be seen is where the dissertation suggests that the painting was based on her rape, but if you could find a source that has a different take on it, that would help prevent any bias!

Your sources look reliable. I see that a lot of them are academic articles or books. I don’t see any blog posts or informal sources, which is great! It’s also good that you have such a wide variety of sources. For my article, information is pretty limited so I’ve been relying on only a handful of sources which isn’t great. I'm glad that you were able to find so many relevant sources!

The biggest thing that I can think of to improve is just adding more citations. You have so many great sources so that should be an easy fix! There’s still a lot of sentences without citations and I know the trainings say to add a citation after every sentence if possible. You’ve made some really great improvements to this article, especially the painting materials and history sections! Daylightandmidnightrain (talk) 16:57, 4 April 2023 (UTC)