User talk:SStevens97/sandbox/Self-Portrait with a sunflower
Hey!
You're doing a really good job on your article, you have a good selection of sections which I think will be awesome, unique to read about, and easily get you to the word count you need. That being said I'm going to jump into the sections that Miller has provided for us to cover.
A lead section that is easy to understand:
Your lead section is short, and I know it's supposed to be like that to an extent but I feel like you can maybe touch a little more on basic info of the artist in this section such as what mediums he mainly used, where he is from, did he train under anyone, etc. I know you do later have the section of "Artist Oeuvre" and this may be my mistake, but my understanding is that is mainly a recount of the artist's works. It would also be beneficial if you elaborated more on "'principal Paynter in order to their Majesties'" as not possibly not everyone would know what that is. Or even use a wiki link if there is an article to said definition. Side note: The lead section says "Charles the I of England" then the original author of the article calls him "Charles" in the next sentence like they're old friends. Might be best to adjust to "King Charles" :)
A clear structure:
Your structure is very well done, the only suggestion I could make is instead of doing two large headings for the sunflower and the facial hair, it would be cleaner to do an overall header of "Symbolism" with subheadings of sunflowers and facial hair. However, it may be beneficial to move the symbolism of the sunflower to a subsection of the artist's time in Charles I's court and they seem to have a lot to do with one another in your writings. Again I think sectioning things out will be tenfold easier when the article and research are done in the end!
Balanced coverage:
This section is a bit hard to give feedback on as you are obviously (reasonably) taking this in stride and this is very much an early draft. All I have to recommend is to be mindful of how long this existing section is when you start to get to other sections! You have several very solid sources for this section and if you find yourself lacking in others just try to compare to what angles and evidence you've done to reach this point in one section!
Neutral content:
Personally, I've been struggling with remaining neutral in my writings so I may not be 100% accurate on this topic. That being said I noticed a few times you state "many believed" or something along those lines, it would be best to stay away from that. Perhaps say something like "Article X from Scholar Y states ..." to show specifics. Other than that, you did an awesome job showing as many sides of the opinion as you could and provided very solid sources on all sides of the argument.
Reliable sources:
This is again a hard thing to discuss so early in the article. Obviously, for one section you may not be pulling from all sources, as they may not cover it equally. It does seem that you pulled info from mainly one source, is there another source you could look towards for more on sunflower symbolism? Perhaps other paintings from that time that use sunflowers and why? Just an idea! That being said, you have very credible sources and seem to be heading down a strong path!
You're doing a really strong job and if at any point you want me to look over this again feel free to ask :) Good luck and keep up the good work :)
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