User talk:RealTO/sandbox
RealTO------
Nice job. Your section is great. It feels like a real wikipedia page, not just a student project. Your figure is simple and very informative. I should have contracted you out to make one for me. Readability is good for such a complicated/technical topic. I checked out some similar pages (PSD-95, Glutamate receptors, etc) and your wiki is pretty much on par for readability. Here are a couple technical suggestions:
Make sure to put all your references after the punctuation.
It might help out novice readers if you tagged a few more words (link to other wiki pages). Words like: "colocalized" (colocalization), NMDA receptors, CNS, and GFP. I didn't check to see if these were tagged later on your page, but they should still probably be tagged in your paragraph where they are first mentioned.
From syntax/grammar standpoint: Throw in a comma after "Shortly after this observation...," and again after "comparing the location of GRIP and AMPA receptors....". And there were a couple places where the adjective form "terminal" should be changed to noun form (e.g. "terminus" or "terminal region", etc): 1) "identified a region on the C-terminal of NMDA receptor 2) "localize in the synaptic terminal of neurons in the CNS".
Two quick stylistic revisions you could consider: You could clean up the first sentence, just for simplicity and clarity (ex "came as a result of the..." could be "resulted from," etc). You could also eliminate the word "thoughts" from last sentence of paragraph 2, makes it sound more academic and sentence still makes sense.
One last thing is you might consider is reorganization. The third paragraph is less focused on history/discovery, so you might want to put it right after the first paragraph since that is where PDZ domains and PSD-95 are first mentioned. That might give it more logical flow.
Let me know if you have any questions. Great job.
-Kamrin Nielsen
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