User talk:Rayrhone4/sandbox

Review from Keara: I noticed that you use “The institute was” or “the institute did”, making it sound like the institute is no longer a thing. Is it still around or did it stop functions? If you could find that out, it might be useful, epically if it ended, then you could add that to the lead. Your sections all seem fine, no major problems to deal with. I would be careful with proofreading as I saw a couple of grammatical errors. This is a hard topic to stay neutral on. I believe that you did all right with staying neutral. There was nothing outrightly supporting or opposing it to me, however, I am not a Wikipedia expert so I’m not entirely sure if this is enough neutrality. The last sentence in the timeline section, about Schaub saying enrollment increased, I would see if you could add a year to that. I also think that possibly adding how to LGBTQ community felt about the institute and also how the non-LGBTQ community felt about it. Showing both sides might help with neutrality. Overall good draft, promising start.

Response

Thank you for your review, I agree that I should find out whether or not the institute is still currently operating or has been absorbed by another organization. That will be something for me to focus on while finishing my final draft. Neutrality is a concern of mine in writing the article and will look at the tutorials to try and brush up on any statements that may implicate bias. Thanks again for your review! — Preceding unsigned comment added by Rayrhone4 (talk • contribs) 19:20, 8 April 2017 (UTC)