User talk:Pouchwarm/Homelessness in the United States by state
Peer Review Comment
[edit]Your additions to the article were very thorough and conveyed a neutral and encyclopedic tone throughout, which made the sections easy to read and coherent with the overall structure and flow of the parent article. You used a strong and diverse set of references that provided substantial support and relevant context for the information in the new sections. In particular, your transitions from the current state of homelessness (through facts and statistics) to the proposed causes of homelessness and any relevant legislation were smooth and easy to follow. Regarding any suggestions for improvement, I believe that defining some more legal/academic terms and adding more information regarding specific organizations/support systems in place for homeless people will contribute to a more holistic and readily accessible outline of homelessness in Ohio. In addition, adding a link to this article (even better - mentioning this specific section in relevant Wikipedia article) to other articles and adding images to your new contributions will help increase traffic to the page. Cd631874 (talk) 21:00, 22 October 2023 (UTC)
Peer Review Comment
[edit]I really enjoyed reading this article on homelessness in Ohio. You do a really great job of defining the issue, providing reputable stats and information about the issue, and you provide an appropriate amount of information per subsection. You clearly did a lot of research on the topic and it shows! I especially enjoyed your section on housing as a possible cause of homelessness — you successfully describe the housing crisis, and explain he ways in which corporations have reduced home ownership by driving up prices. In terms of recommendations, I would suggest including more sentences after you drop a ton of stats to sum up what the numbers are saying in laymen’s terms to make the content less daunting/inaccessible to a Wikipedia reader and to convey the full significance of the data. I’d also recommend embedding the youth section in a broader section on general statewide Ohio policy aimed at supporting various homeless populations/issues—could include subsections about emergency shelters and transitional housing, mental health and substance abuse services, etc. Additionally, I’d include more subsections under the “Possible causes” header. Finally, I'd recommend including more sources in your discussion of specific issues, instead of relying on one source to describe each piece of your analysis (aka make sure no paragraphs only have one citation at the end) Efloden (talk) 18:34, 25 October 2023 (UTC)