User talk:Palderoty/sandbox1

Since you asked...

Hi! You've done a lot of research-- that's awesome! Good job!

I wanted to let you know that references go directly after the punctuation, not before. (no space between.) I fixed the opening section to get you started. The citation can go at the end of the sentence unless there's a particular reason for it not to, like more than one in a sentence. Even then some people cluster them all at the end of the sentence or the paragraph. I don't like to do that, as I find I lose them when I move things around.

There are tricks to shortening the table of contents if you want to, maybe having it only list every decade or so. But I wouldn't worry about that till the article is in it's final shape. Someone might object to the list-like nature of the article. I haven't been here long enough to know much about that. It might be considered better to rewrite it more in paragraph form. Just throwing that out as I've seen people object to articles that read like lists, since WP is supposed to be an encyclopedia. (I have also learned that some people will object to anything, so don't let it throw you too much.)

Here's some info on what should be in the opening section, or lead. "The lead should be able to stand alone as a concise overview. It should define the topic, establish context, explain why the topic is interesting or notable, and summarize the most important points—including any prominent controversies. The emphasis given to material in the lead should roughly reflect its importance to the topic, according to reliable, published sources, and the notability of the article's subject is usually established in the first few sentences. Significant information should not appear in the lead if it is not covered in the remainder of the article." It comes from this page [1]].

Given that, I'd personally take the location part out and put it lower down. But again, that's just my take. I've never written an article on an organization, only people and books, and that just since March. But since you ask, that's my take.

Keep up the good work! Tlqk56 (talk) 00:07, 11 June 2012 (UTC)

Thanks for the advice. I have just adjusted all of the citations to fit the proper format. I also put the location of the group at the bottom of the intro paragraph. I am not sure what else to put in there yet, I'll have to give it some thought. What do you think is the most important concept from the page? or just something that you find interesting that belongs in the top portion. Palderoty (talk) 02:49, 11 June 2012 (UTC)

Hi again. I'm glad to help out a bit. Everyone has their own style. That said, I might do something like this:

Time’s Up! Environmental Organization was founded in 1987 to help educate New Yorkers about environmental awareness. It's main focus is to promote non-polluting transportation, including hybrid-electrics, pedal assist technologies, and advocacy of biking. Among other activities, Time's Up! helped found New York City's Pedi cab industry, and takes an active role in maintaining community gardens. Recent initiatives include supporting the Occupy Wall Street movement and the Museum of Reclaimed Urban Space. Time's Up! is an all-volunteer organization.

Then I'd have a section like, Introduction or General information, and put the rest of your lead stuff in there.

Some things I wondered skimming it that you may have addressed later but I missed, are: how is it organized, is there a board or something? How is it funded? Where does the name come from? Who started it and why? Also, and here you'd need verifiable quotes and not just your opinion, why has this organization been so successful when many others like it have fallen away?

This is one of the things I like about WP -- I learn interesting things all the time. Keep writing. Tlqk56 (talk) 15:59, 11 June 2012 (UTC)

Take a look at my new opening paragraph and "introduction" section. Thank you so much for helping me out with this. I really appreciate it. Palderoty (talk) 16:17, 12 June 2012 (UTC)