User talk:Paigemorse/sandbox

"The Tinker test is still used by courts today" --> Elaborate on what the Tinker test is. How does it work? What are the guidelines? (not necessarily in this first section, but at some point on the wikipedia page where it is easily found.)

Edit this sentence for clarity and grammar: "In 1965, Des Moines, Iowa twelve students[1], including John F. Tinker (15 years old), his siblings Mary Beth Tinker (13 years old), Hope Tinker (11 years old), and Paul Tinker (8 years old), along with their friend Christopher Eckhardt (16 years old), decided to wear black armbands to their schools (North High School for John, Roosevelt High School for Christopher, Warren Harding Junior High School for Mary Beth, elementary school for Hope and Paul) in protest of the Vietnam War and supporting the Christmas Truce called for by Senator Robert F. Kennedy." --> Split this in to separate sentences so it isn't so long. --> Maybe something along the lines of "In 1965, twelve students from Des Moines, Iowa decided to wear black armbands to their schools in protest of the Vietnam War and in support of the Christmas Truce called for by Senator Robert F. Kennedy. These students included siblings John F. Tinker (15 years old), Mary Beth Tinker (13 years old), Hope Tinker (11 years old), and Paul Tinker (8 years old). The Tinker siblings were joined by others, like their friend Christopher Eckhardt (16 years old.)"

Clarify: "Mary Beth and John's mother, Lorena, was a leader of the Peace Organization in Des Moines." --> Is Lorena just the mother of John and Mary Beth? What about the other siblings?

Repetitive: "... attended a protest the previous month against the Vietnam War in Washington, D.C. in November 1965." --> Erase "the previous month" and just use the date (November 1965).

Repeated idea/sentence: "Hope and Paul Tinker were not in violation of the policy, since the policy was not applicable to elementary schools." and "(The two youngest participants were not punished.)"

Good place to add a link to his page (if he has one): "Dan Johnston was the lead attorney on the case."

Do these cases have pages you can link?: "Bethel School District v. Fraser and Hazelwood v. Kuhlmeier"

Coleman laura (talk) 15:40, 28 November 2018 (UTC) Laura Coleman[reply]

"The case was argued before the court on November 12, 1968. It was funded by Des Moines residents Louise Noun, then the president of the Iowa Civil Liberties Union, and her brother, Joseph Rosenfield, a businessman" You may want to add a citation for this.-Michael S. — Preceding unsigned comment added by MichaelSeigel (talk • contribs) 15:46, 28 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]

The "Legacy" section doesn't discuss particularly the legacy of the case, but more so compares three similar cases. Consider if this is the right name/placement of these facts. If you are comparing the cases, give a bit more background to them. Megan Osterhaus (talk) 15:51, 28 November 2018 (UTC)Megan Osterhaus[reply]