User talk:PCBWV

This user is a student editor in West_Virginia_University/Technical_Writing_(Spring_2021) .

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Hello, PCBWV, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Ian and I work with Wiki Education; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.

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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 14:32, 2 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Peer Review

I'm editing the following article about Sam Pancake: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sam_Pancake

The edits I am currently considering making are adding more details to the top of the page, such as his most notable works, cleaning up the career section by organizing the titles included, and rewording the sentence in Personal Life that talks about his sexuality. Overall the article feels very empty and unorganized, so I am hoping that by adding more info to the introduction and making his career history a little more sorted it can help the article flow better and feel less empty. In terms of the personal life article the sentence "Pancake is gay." is very poorly written and can definitely use touching up.

Do these seem like necessary changes? Also what do you think the best way to organize career would be, by time or separate into categories such as movies/television.

@PCBWV: Hi Patrick, Dr. Sarraf here. For your change to the sentence about his sexuality, can you show us the original, your proposed changed, and a justification for the change? I think you'll get better feedback that way. Also, can you be more specific about a) what you plan to add to the intro, b) how you'll reorganize the career history, and c) why the sentence "Pancake is gay" is poorly written and how you suggest changing it? KjessJKT (talk) 15:57, 25 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]

     The sentence "Pancake is gay" can be rewritten as "Pancake states in an interview with Brandon Voss that the moment he came out of the closet was when he played a character who did the same on Curb Your Enthusiasm in 2001." ( https://brandonvoss.com/blog/sam-pancake-hollywoods-go-to-gay-guy ) This gives more information on the subject than the previous sentence, and fits more in the personal life section. Another sentence can be added in as well saying "Pancake knew from a young age that he was gay."
     I would also like to add in a sentence about Pancakes inspiration to become an actor, as he said in an interview his very first memory is watching Mary Poppins in the theatre. (https://www.callmeadam.com/interviews/2017/5/9/call-answered-sam-pancake-gilmore-girls-hot-sweet-sticky.html)
     Another source that can be referenced for the fact that he grew up in Romney is http://thegaleshow.com/cast/sam-pancake/ . (Live show that he is involved in)