User talk:Offensiveb/sandbox

Herdeg stub in your Sandbox

Hi Offesiveb, the paragraph you wrote and cited on your Sandbox is a good (and fast!) start, but needs improvements to the writing and the citations before you can post it.

Regarding the writing, you need to remove your opinion, and foreground factual information. Take the first sentence for example: "Walter Herdeg is a celebrated designer with several achievements in the field of Graphic Design"

1. "celebrated" is unecessary and also innapropriate to include in a Wikipedia article -- remember NPOV, and especially what the guidelines have to say re aesthetic opinions.
2. What are the "several achievements"? You should list them in summary here. I should be able read the first sentence and know the basics about the subject.

You should/must apply these principles to each of the remaining sentences: remove the opinion, be explicit about the facts.

Regarding the citations, you need to be more precise. This is something I have spoken about in 351. Your "Designer books" comes the closest, but note that it is actually "DesignersBooks.com" which is the publisher. Furthermore, I don't think that is an appropriate source, as:

1. I wonder if this blog post has enough authority to be cited. I am on the fence.
2. More importantly, Herdeg is never mentioned in that post, so it is impossible to claim that he was influenced by it based off of that post.

Rewrite the paragraph, and rework the quotations, and let me know on my talk page--Theredproject (talk) 16:18, 28 September 2013 (UTC)

5 sources

http://www.jstor.org/stable/3190585?&Search=yes&searchText=herdeg&searchText=walter&list=hide&searchUri=%2Faction%2FdoAdvancedSearch%3Fq0%3Dwalter%2Bherdeg%26f0%3Dall%26c1%3DAND%26q1%3D%26f1%3Dall%26acc%3Don%26wc%3Don%26fc%3Doff%26Search%3DSearch%26sd%3D%26ed%3D%26la%3D%26pt%3D%26isbn%3D&prevSearch=&item=1&ttl=82&returnArticleService=showFullText

http://www.jstor.org/stable/3186778?&Search=yes&searchText=herdeg&searchText=walter&list=hide&searchUri=%2Faction%2FdoAdvancedSearch%3Fq0%3Dwalter%2Bherdeg%26f0%3Dall%26c1%3DAND%26q1%3D%26f1%3Dall%26acc%3Don%26wc%3Don%26fc%3Doff%26Search%3DSearch%26sd%3D%26ed%3D%26la%3D%26pt%3D%26isbn%3D&prevSearch=&item=4&ttl=82&returnArticleService=showFullText

http://www.jstor.org/stable/1511715?&Search=yes&searchText=herdeg&searchText=walter&list=hide&searchUri=%2Faction%2FdoAdvancedSearch%3Fq0%3Dwalter%2Bherdeg%26f0%3Dall%26c1%3DAND%26q1%3D%26f1%3Dall%26acc%3Don%26wc%3Don%26fc%3Doff%26Search%3DSearch%26sd%3D%26ed%3D%26la%3D%26pt%3D%26isbn%3D&prevSearch=&item=5&ttl=82&returnArticleService=showFullText

http://www.aiga.org/medalist-walterherdeg/

http://www.graphis.com/competition/new-talent-annual-2014/live-viewing/

Offensiveb (talk) 01:25, 3 October 2013 (UTC)