User talk:Mtjames20/sandbox

It will be useful to separate your two articles. You can create multiple sandboxes/usespaces, like I did for Bridgitte Jordan & her book. But great start (on two articles) here! Christacraven (talk) 14:07, 28 February 2017 (UTC)

This is a great start to your article! I appreciated how you incorporated unique details about the ethnographer. For example, I thought it was interesting that you noted how they were an avid reader. Once you expand on some of these ideas, I think your article will grow and develop. It appears that you have 2 or 3 sources already, so I would suggest reading these more thoroughly to expand on some of your ideas. I look forward to seeing this article develop!Amartin19 (talk) 01:40, 8 March 2017 (UTC)[amartin19]

Hello! This is a great start for your article, however, I do have a few points to make about what you have so far. First off for a lead you want to be as condensed as possible without having awkward wording. I would suggest changing it from, "Lucas Silveira is a Canadian vocalist, guitarist, and songwriter from Toronto[1]. He is a transgender man." to "Lucas Silveira, a transgender man, is a Canadian vocalist, guitarist, and songwriter from Toronto[1]." I also think it would be beneficial to add more to the bibliography section regarding: "When he was a child, he knew he was a boy and asked his mother to buy him a penis like his brothers.[2] Growing up, he identified as a lesbian." I fell as though this seems a bit too short because this is an important part in Silveria's life. Under the Music section, it would be helpful to add what label exactly he was signed to ("the first openly transgender man signed to a major label in 2006, at the age of 33"). I also think it would be beneficial to your article to include excerpts or examples of how Silveira "fought back" in your writing section as well. In general, I think that this just needs a bit of expansion in each area, they seem a bit light. Because he is a musician, I think that section really needs to be a bit heavier with information as well as his bio (I'd like to know more about him!). Overall great start to this article and I am looking forward to reading more! [AngelicaLB]

Thanks Angelica! I updated my lead. Also, I have been looking for more to add like you suggested, but I have been struggling with finding reputable sources (or any sources) that I haven't used. I'll keep my eyes open for some though and add more as I find it!Mtjames20 (talk) 19:30, 9 April 2017 (UTC)