User talk:Mpanico2345/sandbox

Matt: Great work on the Film Producers article! With the introductory paragraph, I would recommend keeping the first sentence that is already in the article that goes "Film producers fill a variety of roles depending upon the type of producer." You can then begin with the sentence "Film producers work begins from the very beginning of a film's inception and only ends when the film is fully complete" and continue with the work you've done. Although just be sure to un-bold "Film Producers" since it will already be bolded in the first sentence. I also like what you have done in the "What are Producers" section. On the live page there is a section called "Clarification of the Term". Might it be possible to combine these sections? Good job on the creation of the "Union" section. Once you move your work over to the live article, this should go above the Career Process section. The union section could also use some more work. Take a look to see if there is information from any sources that you could use to develop this some more. Best, Prof.bgreg (talk) 20:11, 26 February 2017 (UTC)

Peer Review Hi Matthew! You did a great job editing the sections of your article! I noticed that in the intro you wrote about the different types of producers, which I did also in my intro. I think maybe it would be good to remove these sentences, ("For various reasons, producers cannot always personally supervise all of the production. Because of this there can be other types of producers on set that represent their interests.[4] These types of producers can include executive producers, segment producers, edit producers, and line producers. Even though there are alot of different types of producers within the industry itself") to avoid repetition within the introduction. However, I liked the way you briefly spoke about the producer's role in choosing scripts and the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers! The "What Are Producers?" section is very thorough and contains great detail about a producer's role as well. I feel that you repeat "the role of a producer" a lot in the first paragraph of that section, so maybe try switching up the wording to let it flow better. In the second paragraph the end of the sentence "He or she are never left out, and are heavily involved in every single stage of the of production" does not make sense. I think you added an extra world by accident. The "Types" and "Union" sections contain a lot of good info that I think is very informative also! Overall you did a great job and your sections contain a lot of important information, with useful changes to what you edited. Best, Jennaseacott (talk) 4 March 2017 (UTC)

Thanks for your feedback Jenna! I totally agree that I should cut out some of what I wrote in the introduction so that when we combine our parts of the intro we won't be repeating any details. After review of my "What are Producers?" section , I have noticed that I do repeat " the role of a producer" a lot. I would have never noticed it if you didn't point it out and I will correct it right away. I will also take out that extra word that I added by accident in the sentence you pointed out to me. The "Unions" section is still a work in progress because I can't find any more reliable sources about the unions. If you have any ideas please let me know. Thanks for the great feedback!--Mpanico2345 (talk) 18:50, 6 March 2017 (UTC)

draft feedback

@Mpanico2345: Hi! The new 'types' section you've drafted looks like a useful addition. The main thing it lacks is inline sources. You should provide a citation for each of the descriptions in that section; even if it is repeating the same source, it will be more useful for readers and other editors to be able to trace each one back to a specific source.--Sage (Wiki Ed) (talk) 18:29, 10 March 2017 (UTC)

@Sage (Wiki Ed): Thanks a lot for the feedback. I wasn't sure whether I should add a source for every line or just put it once at the start of the section. Thanks a lot for clearing that up for me, and I will make your suggested corrections as soon as possible. Thanks alot!--Mpanico2345 (talk) 14:55, 24 March 2017 (UTC)