User talk:Mlan321
| This user is a student editor in Wikipedia:Wiki_Ed/University_of_Wisconsin-Eau_Claire/Epidemiology_ENPH_450_(Fall_2017). Student assignments should always be carried out using a course page set up by the instructor. It is usually best to develop assignments in your sandbox. After evaluation, the additions may go on to become a Wikipedia article or be published in an existing article. |
Welcome!
[edit]Hello, Mlan321, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Ian and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 13:30, 17 October 2017 (UTC)
Caitlin's Peer Review
[edit]Overall Suggestions
Sources good for statistics throughout. Very informational and interesting. Very thoroughly explained. Political correctness in some paragraphs. Sentence structure could use some editing. Be sure to make only statements from your sources, this does not need to be in essay format. Overall a strong epidemiology section, with supporting sources. Like how you organized this section with the different types of MRSA and a brief explanation of each type.
Transmission of HA- MRSA
“MRSA has become more prevalent in recent years as transmission has become more common and quick.” Should not sound like you are writing an essay. Should be statements of facts/ statistics.
Risks Between Races, Age, and Sex
“incidence rates for blacks were typically higher among different age groups compared to whites” Political correctness (African American, Caucasian)
The Source Among Athletes
The source is good. “The most common site of infection was the elbow in a study done regarding collegiate football players” -Try to make this sound more like statements. Do not need to talk about specific studies more worried about the facts and statistics.
CA-MRSA “Children from birth to 18 years of age presenting for sick and well visits were recruited for this study from pediatric practices affiliated with a practice-based research network.” -Kind of confused on what you are trying to say in this sentence. -Make it more statement/ fact-based not necessarily summarizing an article. “ colonization in black and the rate in white children was 1.2% children was 4.7%,” -Political correctness (African American, Caucasian) “Factors that remained significant for MRSA nasal colonization were black race and previous systemic infection.” -Sentence structure could be edited. -Political correctness The last sentence sounds like a conclusion of the paragraph that is not necessarily needed.
LA-MRSA Great reference, with good information. “India is the highest mile (milk) producer in the world with dairy production being one of the major agricultural activities among the people.” - Proofread sentences.
“Livestock MRSA is among one of the major breast tissue causing organisms in India”. Watch out for essay formatting
Welcome
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– the WikiProject Medicine team --Jytdog (talk) 05:05, 30 November 2017 (UTC)