User talk:Mjohn55/sandbox

Feedback on article draft

Hi @Mjohn55:, It's good to see the progress you have made on your article draft so far. You've recieved some really good feedback from the others and I think you should consider their recommendations. I would add that it's clear that you have a lot information in the sources that you haven't included in the article. Of course you don't need to add everything, but it's just good to see that you have enough material to work with. Like others said I think that you could talk more about the show in depth. I suggest that you take a look at some of the highest rated TV show articles on Wikipedia such as The Wire. You find some ideas about additional sections to include or about how you might write a good synopsis of the first season. I think if you take these steps then this article can be really good! I'm looking forward to seeing how things develop! Groceryheist (talk) 05:31, 6 February 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Comment on article evaluation

Hi Mjohn55, I have some comments on your article evaluation:

You said that you can tell that the article was edited heavily in July 2018. How does this compare with the article history?
I see that you left a comment on the talk page. The previous talkers didn't sign their comments, but if you check the history you can see that those messages were left in 2014. I wonder if these editors will respond?
Did you consider editing the article to address the shortcomings you observed? Why or why not?

Groceryheist (talk) 18:29, 15 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Satory's peer review

Hi Mjohn55,

I really liked your article on Tidying Up with Marie Kondo. It is one of my favorite shows. Overall, you did a really good job! The article is content neutral and you have a clear structure. There were a few minor grammatical errors and punctuational errors that may need to be fixed, and I would suggest adding a little more about the show itself. The reception is really useful but I think you can talk about what the show is more in depth, such as expanding on what the KonMari method is and how it is used in the show and maybe giving more episode descriptions and examples so it all ties together. I think that would be really useful for people who read the article without knowing what the show is.

Satorymae (talk) 19:53, 30 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Marisa's Peer Review

The changes you made were really good! Since the Wikipedia page is about the Netflix show, I'm just a little concerned that the "Psychological Component" doesn't work as a complete different section. Maybe if there was a little more context to how that effects the show (maybe put it under "Reception?) Or you can add a whole different section that is describing Kondo's whole methodology and how the psychological component fits into that? It might be helpful to add a synopsis as well of the episodes. You can also link the St. Vincent de Paul charity. Your additions were awesome, you did a great job!Marisalobo96 (talk) 00:00, 2 February 2019 (UTC)[reply]