User talk:Missyakn

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Delivered on behalf of User:Sage Ross (WMF), 16:34, 10 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Acorn Drains Cans

Hey! First off I love all of the information in the article. Lots of good stuff but it needs the references (which I can help you with later). For the headers, make each of the words capitalized unless it's "of" or "in". Also, with a lot of the key terms in this article, link out the information (how to in the bullet points). For this to be easier I'll make it a bullet point list of some more of the specific things: Overview Section'

The Overview section is good, but it should really be the lead section of the article. Then in the first paragraph, bold the first sentence to show what the main topic is going to be.
Within the first sentence link out the word virus so that it would go to the wikipedia article that is about viruses (that way you don't have to re-type a bunch of stuff that is already said). To do this use [ [ NAME OF ARTICLE ] ], if you want to have a different word that what the title is for the article use [ [ NAME OF ARTICLE|WORDS YOU WANT ] ]. (there wouldn't be any spaces in between the brackets)
If you link out to the virus page, then I would suggest taking out the mechanism part. Since this has to do more with the virus in general and not the viruses in water, it would be redundant. This would be starting with "Viruses affect all living organisms..." and ends before "Also the large group..." If you are going to take that out, also remove the word "Also" from the last sentence for it to work better grammatically.
After that sentence, take out the last sentence in the first paragraph.
Specifically you could link the word "biological mechanisms" to the article "Marine Bacteriophage".

Major Outbreaks

Take out the first two sentences and start with when water virology was "born". This way the content will be more focused on water virology rather than on all of the other viruses.
Link out "variola viruses" to "Smallpox" and then take out "(smallpox)".
If the histories have nothing to do with a virus that is located in water, I would take it out.
Capitalize "Hepatitis" in the last sentence in the last paragraph.

Viruses present in water

"Hunder" is what you have listed, but I think you want to say "a hundred".
You will want to break up the first sentence. Place a period after "...human beings" and capitalize "For example...".
Link out all of the terms that you can in the table
The question mark that is next to diabetes should either be taken out or rephrased like "possibly diabetes".
I love the table!!

Virus removal in water

Capitalize "water" and "whereas" under the Treatment section.
Try to develop more in the Concentration or see if you can link out to another wikipedia page.

Prevention of water viruses

2nd paragraph, 1st sentence: Place a "to the" in between "related" and "lack".
3rd paragraph, 2nd sentence: "Do" should be "Due".
Develop the financial aspect more or see if you can make it its own section with a little more oomph.

Let me know if you need help with anything! Acorn Drains Cans (talk) 00:02, 30 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]