User talk:Michsm

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Hello, Michsm, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Shalor and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.

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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 15:33, 10 September 2018 (UTC)

working parent review

lead review

neutrality notification

• Intro sentence is too wordy and needs to be cleaned up grammatically.
• Delete or their own needs from second sentence.
• Final sentence establishes the intent to center on "gender inequality" for working parents.

Historic viewpoint review

• Extremely weak reference to television in the 1950's and 60's.
• Entire section is subjective.
• Lacks easily found statistics from the time period that would provide a better representation than comment about television and and extremely opinionated final sentence almost an insult. The entire sentence is unnecessary and weak.

Motherhood Penalty Fatherhood Bonus

• Last sentence needs a citation.
• I would like a current statistic to back up the hemogenic masculinity statement, perhaps comparing not only to working mothers but also men that don't fit the mold.
• The entire section feels subjective and unsubstantiated. Needs statistical support.

Working Mothers

• Entire section needs editing and grammatical revision. Mostly relevant information and interesting comparisons with European.
• Consider breaking up information into time period and region.

Mommy Wars

• Unnecessary, poorly worded and irrelevant.

Working Father? Gay Parent?

• This article should either be titled working mother, or a sub-section should be added shining a light on the working father and possible obstacles/challenges they face.
• Insight on Homosexual parents, either in a relationship or not, would also be an interesting sub-section to research.

Structure

• Article flow is confusing, grammatically inconsistent and poorly structured. Working mothers could be broken down better.
• Motherhood Penalty section should come after historic viewpoints.

References

• Links do not all lead to proper source.
• Content in article missing numerous citations.
• Many sources written in a bias, subjective manner.

Shelby's Peer Review

• Proposed changes to lead are excellent. Informative but adds neutrality to the article.
• Additions to Historical historical viewpoints are also excellent and relevant. Sources are strong.
• Revisions are also strong, removing irrelevant, grammatically flawed content.
• Additions to MpFb make section relevant. Strong.
• Mommy wars still needs work.

• More attention needs to be paid to Mommy Wars to keep it relevant.
• Sub-section for working father, possibly focus on single-father dynamic, child-support/spousal support.
• Possibly focus on the dynamic of working parents that lose their job and the issues associated with that.
• Overall, fatherhood is underrepresented in an article titled Working Parent.

• Most important item: Represent the working father, especially the one who falls outside of the heteronormative narrative.

• There is little to no overlap our Working Parent and Chickenhead (sexuality).