User talk:Mhf55
| This user is a student editor in Georgetown_University/Culture,_Medicine,_and_Gender_(Spring_2019) . |
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[edit]Hello, Mhf55, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Elysia and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Elysia (Wiki Ed) (talk) 17:23, 16 January 2019 (UTC)
Copyright problem on Mental disorders and gender
[edit]Some of the content you added to the above article included passages copied verbatim or nearly verbatim from a non-free source. This was detected by automatic plagiarism detection software. For copyright reasons, some of your contribution was deleted. Please review the Plagiarism and Copyright training module before proceeding further. Thanks. Hcrand (talk) 02:37, 18 April 2019 (UTC)— Diannaa 🍁 (talk) 03:03, 9 March 2019 (UTC)
Peer Review - Hannah Crand
[edit]Introduction/Lead: I liked how the group changed the introductory language about major depression and substance abuse incidence in men and women, as it now reads far more smoothly and is more concise. Since Wikipedia likes topics/phrases to be linkable when possible, I would make sure to check that all applicable and relevant phrases are hyperlinked in the introduction. I noticed that “substance abuse” and “genderqueer” not hyperlinked, which I think should be amended. I much prefer the revised introduction to the original version, though I think that some of the wording could still be modified, such as in this sentence: “Societal patriarchy, gender roles, and exposure to other mental health risk factors have adverse effects on the psychological perceptions of both men and women”. “Societal patriarchy” is not really a term we would use in gender studies, rather one might say “(the/a) patriarchal society” or “The United States’ patriarchal societal influences” instead.
Structure: As I am sure that you are all aware, there is a quite a lot happening in this article. I noticed that the revised table of contents is drastically different from that of the original article. Though I think that the organization of the table of contents is logical, it could be a bit confusing to the average reader, as topics such “anxiety” and “depression” appear numerous times as subheadings and heading. Additionally, I think it would make sense to have the “Gender Differences Following a Traumatic Event” section include both the “Biological Differences” section about trauma and depression, as they seem to be in the same vein.
Balance of Viewpoints/Neutrality: The tone of the article is mostly neutral, though there are a few places where the tone appears to be a bit too casual for a Wikipedia article. The LGBT+ section has a few areas with a non-neutral tone, but overall the article is fairly balanced.
Length of Section in Relation to Importance: For the most part, the length of a section corresponds to the importance of said topic, save for the LGBT+ section about lack of research, which I think could be condensed. Additionally, the coping mechanism sections could be condensed.
Sources: The sources used by this group are reliable and most are from reputable academic journals or government institutions, such as the CDC.
Besides the organization of the article, there are several editorial corrections to be made. LGBTQ or LGBTQ+ is more commonly used in recent literature and by activist organizations than LGBT or LGBT+. Additionally, throughout the LGBTQ+ section it may be more appropriate to say “queer folks/people” rather than “lesbian, gay, bi, and/or gender non-conforming”, although that tends to be somewhat political, depending on to whom one speaks. Hcrand (talk) 10:37, 17 April 2019 (UTC)