User talk:Meredithhoo/sandbox

Hi Meredith,

Overall, really great job! Your section is succinct and is well-researched. My recommendations/suggestions stem from making it a little less technical -- while some of the terms may be explained earlier in your article (and I wouldn't know that yet!), I'd still suggest either simplifying vocabulary, or adding links to other pages on wikipedia that users can click on if they aren't clear. For example, "glottis", "phonatory effort", "glottal closure", and even "videostroboscopy" are all things that a layperson might not understand. If direct pages don't exist on wikipedia, is there a synonym you can use with a page? or a simple bracket explanation you can add in?

Random comments:

-I might edit the first sentence to say "The diagnosis of VF nodules....." -In the second sentence, perhaps clarify that "acoustic and aerodynamic" measures are basically referring to what you called "perceptual evaluation" in the sentence before - on "voice problems may results form the presence of VF nodules" -- what are they? the next sentence jumps into secondary voice problems which doesn't make it clear what the primary voice problems are! - great description of the symptoms :) - I'd add a "the" in the last sentence: "symptoms are classified according to [the] severity of.." -- is "manifestations" commonly used in the literature?

Let me know if you have any questions! Great work. -JR Yvrslp2b (talk) 17:25, 29 October 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for your excellent feedback, I will use these suggestions to further edit my sandbox Meredithhoo (talk) 14:23, 5 November 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Feedback on Vocal Fold Nodule part

Hey Meredith! Your part is pretty good! I do have some suggestions:

- Some terms, like “Laryngeal videostroboscopy”, might be too technical. However I am not sure how to fix that, as Wikipedia doesn’t seem to have a page for it. Maybe a small explanation (e.g. tube with camera inserted either nasally or orally to see the vocal folds) would be appropriate.

- Some other terms like “glottis” already have a Wiki page, so you could just link to them.

- Also I’m not sure what “Symptoms are classified according to the severity of manifestations” means? Do you mean that e.g. vocal fatigue can be classified differently depending on how severe it is? Or that it's only classified as vocal fatigue if it's over a severity threshold? I'm not sure.

That’s all I got! It’s very concise and informative, which is great. Your lead is good and your sources seem fine. Yay! Oozav (talk) 20:33, 29 October 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for taking the time to provide your feedback. It was very insightful and will help me make my part a bit more user-friendly Meredithhoo (talk) 14:23, 5 November 2016 (UTC)[reply]