User talk:Meghankreidy
Welcome!
[edit]Hello, Meghankreidy, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Adam and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Adam (Wiki Ed) (talk) 19:36, 12 January 2017 (UTC)
Peer Review
[edit]Hi, this is Lily from class. I enjoyed reading through your article and have some suggestions! Your overview gives a pretty balanced indication of what information will be presented in the article and how it will be structured. This section could be strengthened by adding a phrase about Hemings’ legacy to make sure all topics in the article are presented in this section.
The education and early life section gives a good explanation of Hemings’ family origins, but could be strengthened by adding more specific information about Hemings’ vocational training/education - possibly take some of the information presented in the first paragraph of the career section explaining Hemings’ training and add it to this section. The second paragraph of this section needs a reliable citation, and might fit better under the career section since it describes work that Hemings did rather than his education or upbringing.
The career section is very well-researched and informative. As stated above, some of the information might fit better in the education section. This section is definitely strong in how it explains Hemings’ career path as well as his skills and responsibilities. The last two paragraphs might fit better under the education and early life or marriage and family sections, since the information presented in them relate more to Hemings’ personal life and later life rather than his career as a slave at Monticello. Or, creating a “later life” section to describe Hemings’ life, death, and work following Jefferson’s death and his subsequent freedom might also give the article a clearer and more coherent structure.
Overall the article looks good! Just some minor polishing as well as ensuring that all information is properly cited will definitely strengthen it. Please feel free to contact me personally if you want more specific feedback/have any questions. LTyndall (talk) 17:55, 19 March 2017 (UTC)
Peer Review
[edit]I also enjoyed reading the article! I'll email you an article I found that talks about Heming's contributions to Poplar Forest as well, which might be interesting to you. I think the organization works well, and your tone is neutral throughout. Off the cuff suggestion - would it be appropriate to have a section about the types of sources you had for this article - thinking in the sense that there has been new interest in these types of stories, and a section on the evolution of public interest in his story could be interesting. Minor copyediting suggestion: the second sentence in the intro is more than likely grammatically correct, but reads a bit clunky. Rab286 (talk) 21:44, 19 March 2017 (UTC)rab286