User talk:Mcmdude
This user is a student editor in Yale_University/HSAR_415_Aztec_Art_and_Architecture_(Fall_2018) . |
Welcome!
[edit]Hello, Mcmdude, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Shalor and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 19:39, 5 September 2018 (UTC)
Peer Review for Tlāhuizcalpantecuhtli
[edit]Your edits to the article look great! It is more accessible and the information is conveyed more clearly.
Some suggestions I have include:
- Expanding the lead paragraph to include a bit more information and to accurately reflect the information in the article
- "fifth sun" should be capitalized ("Fifth Sun"). It may be also useful to mention that this refers to the fifth creation of the world
- The Origin Story uses both past and present tense. It would be clearer to stick to a single tense (I would think past as the world has already been created).
- You could add a section that describes various representations of Tlāhuizcalpantecuhtli and the shared features between them
- General proofreading corrections would improve the article overall. You can also simplify wordier sentences. (i.e. "Quetzalcoatl throws himself in into a bonfire" --> "Quetzalcoatl threw himself into a bonfire," and "Tlahuizcalpantecuhtli is believed to cause harm to people by shooting darts" --> "Tlahuizcalpantecuhtli harms people by shooting darts").
Good job! Kathleenvoight (talk) 20:38, 14 October 2018 (UTC)