User talk:Loftusjp

Peer Review

Hello,

I chose you for my peer review for EDT 251. I hope this is an appropriate place.

I think you have a great start to your article. Although I had a basic understanding of segregation in sports, your article illuminated some important terminology and scenarios I had not heard about before.

Some minor issues that stood out to me were your use of passive voice and active voice. I believe using either is fine, but you should stick to just one to make it cohesive. Perhaps you should also vary the sentence length to make it easier for readers to follow. Your sentences are very long (they contain great information), and it is easy to lose the trail while reading.

Lastly, you do a great job citing all the sources you use. You're doing great so far! Elswicc (talk) 20:38, 16 April 2023 (UTC)

Welcome!

Hello, Loftusjp, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Brianda and I work with Wiki Education; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.

I hope you enjoy editing here. If you haven't already done so, please check out the student training library, which introduces you to editing and Wikipedia's core principles. You may also want to check out the Teahouse, a community of Wikipedia editors dedicated to helping new users. Below are some resources to help you get started editing.

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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Brianda (Wiki Ed) (talk) 22:08, 18 April 2023 (UTC)