User talk:Lissy04
| This user is a student editor in University_of_Guelph/Pet_Nutrition_(Fall) . |
Welcome!
[edit]Hello, Lissy04, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Ian and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 02:27, 17 October 2017 (UTC)
Feedback
[edit]What article do you plan to add this to? Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 15:10, 21 November 2017 (UTC)
Thanks. Some feedback on your draft
- Please use the cite tool on the visual editor for your references. Right now, you are using {{harv}} templates, but they aren't properly formatted, and don't work. The dog food article, on the other hand, uses the standard reference formatting; since articles shouldn't use a mixture of two styles, you need to switch to the standard form.
- References should appear immediately after the statements they support. There should be a minimum of one reference per paragraph, and there shouldn’t be any text after the last reference in a paragraph. As it currently stands, you have a lot of unsourced content.
- Only capitalise proper nouns, don't capitalise words like "urea"
- Don't include background material. For example, this is purely background material. If the reader really don't know what protein is, they can click the link and learn more at the protein article.
Protein is one of the macronutrients present in food, the amino acids that compose proteins can be essential for animal health. These amino acids play several important roles in the body. However, protein requirements vary among dogs because of many factors such as age, size, sex, and breed.
This belongs in the article, but not in the specific section about low-protein diets.
According to The Association of American Feed Control Officials (AAFCO) nutrient guideline for cats and dogs, the minimum protein requirement for dogs during adult maintenance is 18% on a dry matter (DM) basis. The majority of dog foods on the market contain 25-35% protein on a DM basis...
This part is probably a good starting point for your section
diets with 18-20% protein on a DM basis can be considered as low protein diets. Such low protein diets would not be seen with growth and reproductive life stages because of their higher demand for protein, as such this diet is for dogs meeting maintenance levels. This protein requirement varies from species to species, cats have a higher protein requirement, stated 26% for adult maintenance by AAFCO, where a dog low protein diet would not be suitable as a cat diet.
However, neither of these are sourced. These must have supporting citations.
Low protein diets are shown to be beneficial with chronic kidney disease (Kovesdy et al. 2013). If this is the case, the owner should consult veterinarians who may prescribe low protein diets for kidney support. Many of these pharmaceutical diets have a protein content lower than the minimum protein requirement for adult maintenance. These diets not only have a reduction in protein, but they also contain a reduction in minerals such as phosphorous (Klahr 1989). Typical non-prescribed low protein diets are only low in protein and not in other minerals such as phosphorous. A number of different types of low protein diets can also be found over-the-counter, such as vegetarian, vegan, weight control, and senior diets. Each of these, despite having lower levels of protein than usual, should contain all the other essential nutrients to promote optimal health in dogs.
- Wikipedia articles don't give advice. That's one of the firm rules of Wikipedia. The bolded portion is advice.
- The part I italicised is also problematic, since it's really presented as advice as well. You can attribute this opinion to a source, but you can't state it as a fact in Wikipedia's voice.
- I'm skeptical that you can generalise about "over-the-counter" diets that broadly. Are you really confident that this is true everywhere in the world? If you aren't, don't say something so general. Your readers may well not be in a country that has any sort of standards for dog food.
If you're writing about low protein diets, don't create a section about high protein diets. You can contrast low protein diets with high protein diets, but you shouldn't create a section about high-protein diets. Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 17:28, 27 November 2017 (UTC)