User talk:Lee1983

Keshan Yakorajah

Full name Keshan Ude Wellawatta Bandaranayke Yakorajah
Born April 14, 1990,Colombo 7, Sri Lanka
Current age 17 years 159 days
Major teams Pinathongs XI, Wellawatta Canal XI, Colombo
Nickname Keshi, Gemba, Bourne Kesh, Kesh Demented, Megatron Kesh
Playing role batsman
Batting style Right-hand bat
Bowling style Right-arm throw
Fielding position Fine Leg
Height 1.6m

Profile

Captain Keshan will be the first Colombo captain to lead a side out against the Kandians on the 29th od Dec for the first ever Muppets-Jokers series. Keshi was an inspired choice for captain as he is the youngest player in the Colombo Team. Having read Steve Waugh autobiography , Keshan is considered to be a master tactician on the field. Some have even gone as far as saying that he is Douglas Jardine reborn. This is backed up by the fact that Captain Keshan has led Pinathongs INC U15-17 sides with distinction, winning 10 internet championships in 10 years.

Keshan is a handy middle order batsmen and might roll his arm over if needed and has promised a swift end to any hopes the Kandians have.

Batting Average

	Mat	Runs	HS	Ave	100	50
Tests	0	0	0	0	0	0
ODIS	0	0	0	0	0	0

Bowling Average

	Mat	Runs	Wkts	BBI	Ave	Econ	5w	10
Tests	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
ODIS	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0

Career Statistics

Test debut Australia v Pakistan at Brisbane, Nov 5-9, 1999 scorecard
Last Test Australia v Sri Lanka at Hobart, Nov 16-20, 2007 scorecard ODI debut Australia v South Africa at Faridabad, Oct 25, 1996 scorecard
Last ODI India v Australia at Mumbai, Oct 17, 2007 scorecard

Notes

Wisden Cricketer of the Year 2010
Pinathong's trier of the Decade 2000
Occasional Pirate/Secret agent and Robot

Oda Udekamawadiya

File:Oshadaslboy.JPG

Full name Laksman Nari Podihamu Udekamawadiya Oshada Dilshan
Born May 5th, 1986,Nugegoda, Sri Lanka
Current age 17 years 159 days
Major teams Nugegoda Under 7s, Momma's Boys, Colombo
Nickname SL Boy, Vanaya Hawa, Oda, Dilly
Playing role allrounder
Batting style Right-hand bat
Bowling style Right-arm medium fast
Fielding position Mid On
Height 1.72m

Profile

Oshada Dilshan, having spent the last few years exiled to the set of the Lord of the Rings, returned recently to capture his career best figures of 11-6 in a tour match at Ja-Ela Kiri. A lively bowler who loves to dish out the chin music, and an attacking batsmen makes him the most entertaining cricketer going around since Eric Upashanta announced his retirement from world cricket. Oda, as he likes being known, is looking forward to banishing the bowlers from the Kandy as he looks to breaking all sort of records and things. An alert fielder,but seems to only know how to utter a few phrases like "ela kiri" and "pissek" which will diminish his effect as a sledger.

Batting Average

	Mat	Runs	HS	Ave	100	50
Tests	0	0	0	0	0	0
ODIS	0	0	0	0	0	0

Bowling Average

	Mat	Runs	Wkts	BBI	Ave	Econ	5w	10
Tests	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
ODIS	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0

Career Statistics

Test debut Momma's Boys v Musharaf's boys at Hamiliton, Nov 5-9, 1999 scorecard
Last Test Momma's Boys v Sri Lanka at Hobart, Nov 16-20, 2007 scorecard ODI debut Momma's Boys v South Africa at Faridabad, Oct 25, 1996 scorecard
Last ODI India v Momma's Boys at Mumbai, Oct 17, 2007 scorecard

Notes

Unwisden Cricketer of the Year 2006
Occasional Gangster

Damith Mortenzo Mugabeman

File:Damith st.jpg

Full name Damith Mortenzo Mati Mugabeman
Born August 11, 1983,Colombo 7, Sri Lanka
Current age 24 years 159 days
Major teams Pinathongs XI, Pellewatta XI, Colombo
Nickname Morty,Muga, Mugaman, Willy-Koon
Playing role bowler
Batting style Left-hand bat
Bowling style Right-arm Fast medium
Fielding position Short Leg
Height 1.8m

Profile

Damith was the mastermind behind the Muppets-Jokers series and thus has been rewarded by being named the Man of the Series prior to a ball being even bowled. The chief architect in many Pinathongs XI victories Damith throws the ball at a handy pace. He is also an astute business man and is the CEO of Pinathongs INC and CrapInfo.Com- The home of Real CrapInfo.

When questions arose regarding his availability for the first match he responded in typical fashion stating "I have already got permission from my wife, so these rumors are baseless. Now lets play some cricket godamit"

Batting Average

	Mat	Runs	HS	Ave	100	50
Tests	0	0	0	0	0	0
ODIS	0	0	0	0	0	0

Bowling Average

	Mat	Runs	Wkts	BBI	Ave	Econ	5w	10
Tests	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
ODIS	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0

Career Statistics

Test debut Australia v Pakistan at Brisbane, Nov 5-9, 1999 scorecard
Last Test Australia v Sri Lanka at Hobart, Nov 16-20, 2007 scorecard ODI debut Australia v South Africa at Faridabad, Oct 25, 1996 scorecard
Last ODI India v Australia at Mumbai, Oct 17, 2007 scorecard

Notes

Wants to be Wisden Cricketer of the Year 2011
Pinathong CEO
Likes long walks on the beach and sunsets

Srinath Bhathala Appu

File:LionsPride.jpg

Full name Srinath Bhathala Mundiyanselaga Bhathala Appu
Born August 26, 1983,Kandy, Sri Lanka
Current age 24 years 159 days
Major teams Fat Camp XI, Home for the Obese XI, Kandy
Nickname Fatty, Fatso, JolBada, Sydney Man-Whore
Playing role batsman
Batting style Left-hand bat
Bowling style Right-arm throw
Fielding position Fine Leg
Height 2.0m

Weight 1500 Tons

Profile

Srinath aka Lionz Pride is a big character and a Big Big man. When he was 3 he was sent to fat camp because his parents couldnt afford to feed him anymore and the rest as they say is history. At Fat camp Lionz started his blitzkreig rise to stardom as he joined the FatCamp XI and became the youngest (and fattest) kid to score a 100.

When eventually released from FatCamp at the tender age of 23 Lionz moved to Australia, where he has since lived. Although he has ended up in several Homes for the Obese, Lionz, has notched up some staggering performances over the years. Including hitting 7 sixers off an over(1 ball was a no ball).

He has already begun playing some mind games with the opposition captain saying that Captain Keshan is nothing but a boy in a skirt. To which Keshan responded with his trademark retort "Haaaa".

In the meantime Damith from Team Colombo, who is a good friend of Srinath, has offered his help in setting up emergency services in case Lionz has any heart problems, due to his "condition".

Batting Average

	Mat	Runs	HS	Ave	100	50
Tests	0	0	0	0	0	0
ODIS	0	0	0	0	0	0

Bowling Average

	Mat	Runs	Wkts	BBI	Ave	Econ	5w	10
Tests	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
ODIS	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0

Career Statistics

Test debut FatCamp XI v ThinCamp XI at Brisbane, Nov 5-9, 1999 scorecard
Last Test Kandy U-21 v Hobart XI at Hobart, Nov 16-20, 2007 scorecard ODI debut
FatCamp XI v Islamabad at Faridabad, Oct 25, 1996 scorecard
Last ODI Kandy U-21 v Hobart XI, Oct 17, 2007 scorecard

Notes

FatCamp Cricketer of the Year 2005
Home for the Obese Cricketer of the Decade 2006
Occasional Jogger

Kanishka Ayethdolahai

File:Kanishka d.jpg

Full name Ithakettu Kanishka Ayethdolahai Bhoomiselvan
Born June 30, 1987,Gampaha, Sri Lanka
Current age 20 years 103 days
Major teams Gampaha Kollo, Gampaha Naki Kella, Skinny Camp, Kandy
Nickname 12th man, Kanz, Kurtz
Playing role batsman
Batting style Right-hand bat
Bowling style Right-arm off break
Fielding position Slip
Height 1.62m

Weight 45 pounds

Profile

Kanishka, built like a feather and more wired than a Sri Jayawardenapura Kotte Pole (try saying that when your drunk), is a the world's best Number 12 and drink carrier going around. Often seen carrying the drinks for the Sri Lankan test team, anywhere from Asigirya to Zimbabwe. When not carrying the drinks for the cricket team, he helps carry the drinks for the Sri Lankan Army in Vanni. A Useful middle order batsmen, who when the wind blows the right way, is the fastest man over 22 yards. Its Rumored that he can become invisible if he turns sideways. Widely tipped to retain his drink tray for the next clash against Colomba, he may be called on in the 12th, erh 11th hour to take off his apron and put down his oranges to bat. He isn't actually from the Upcountry, but would rather play for the might of the Sinha Kandian than the Colombo Horu.

Batting Average

	Mat	Runs	HS	Ave	100	50
Tests	0	0	0	0	0	0
ODIS	0	0	0	0	0	0

Bowling Average

	Mat	Runs	Wkts	BBI	Ave	Econ	5w	10
Tests	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
ODIS	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0

Career Statistics

Test debut ThinCamp XI v FatCamp XI at Brisbane, Nov 5-9, 1999 scorecard
Last Test Kandy U-21 v Hobart XI at Hobart, Nov 16-20, 2007 scorecard ODI debut
Ethiopians v Mota Aloo XI at Faridabad, Oct 25, 1996 scorecard
Last ODI Kandy U-21 v Hobart XI, Oct 17, 2007 scorecard

Notes

Won award for furtherest un assisted flight by a human being in 2002
Won the light fingers award 2007
Won the 'Jehan Muburak should be a swimmer award' 2007

Juan Sachintha

Full name Juan The one Sachinta
Born June 30, 1983,Kandy, Sri Lanka
Current age 24 years 103 days
Major teams Udarata Kollo XI, Nuwara XI, Skinny Camp, Kandy
Nickname The One, Sachi
Playing role batsman
Batting style Right-hand bat
Bowling style Right-arm off break
Fielding position Slip
Height 1.64m

Weight 200 pounds

Profile

Captain One will lead the Kandy XI for the first series against the Colombians. Suffering from an acute disease Sachintha often likes to refer to himself in the 3rd Person, usually calling himself "The One", a name he came up with after watching Jet Li's famous movie in the wee hours of the morning.

The One wasnt always the one. He started off being "The 3rd" when he was in kindergarten. "The 3rd" joined the Kindergarten XI when he was 2 n half and set the world record for the youngest kindergarten player to get 10 runs, he was bowled next ball, for 10. After this feat he was promoted to "The 2nd" and spent a few years in the wilderness setting several records until he got the attention of the Udarata XI. He quickly rose up the ranks and ended up being "The One".

He has since captained the Udarata and Nuwara XIs with commendable achievements. In his first year as captain "The One" smashed all logic and hit 8 sixers off a 6 ball over (yea we are still trying to figure that one out too).

Captain Keshan called this a fluke and casually mentioned that perhaps The Ones maths isnt as good as it should be. Angered by this comment Captain One has promised a revenge so devastating that it will rock Colombo on his very foundation.

Batting Average

	Mat	Runs	HS	Ave	100	50
Tests	0	0	0	0	0	0
ODIS	0	0	0	0	0	0

Bowling Average

	Mat	Runs	Wkts	BBI	Ave	Econ	5w	10
Tests	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
ODIS	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0

Career Statistics

Test debut Udatara XI v Pahatharata XI at Brisbane, Nov 5-9, 1999 scorecard
Last Test Udatara XI v Pahatharata XI at Hobart, Nov 16-20, 2007 scorecard ODI debut
Kindergarden XI v Mota Aloo XI at Faridabad, Oct 25, 1996 scorecard
Last ODI Mota Aloo v Kindergarden XI, Oct 17, 2007 scorecard

Notes

Fastest Cricketer to become "The One" from being "The Third"
Voted most likely to refer to himself in the 3rd Person 2005
Won the 'F--king Colombians since 1990' award in 2007

Lee Pol Kolla

File:Aussikolla.JPG

Full name Lee Ingrisayeth Amathakauna Ammatasiri Pol Kolla
Born July 13, 1983,Mount Olympus, Greece
Current age 24 years 103 days
Major teams Sudu Kollo, Veyangoda Railways, Exiled Australians, Kandy
Nickname Aussi Kolla, Kasippu, Paruppuwa, Wood, Te Kolla
Playing role batsman
Batting style Right-hand bat
Bowling style Right-arm Leg Break Googlies
Fielding position Slip
Height 1.84m

Weight 60 kg

Profile

Lee, or better known as Aussikolla, is an enigma when it comes to cricket. He has often been involved in run outs because of poor communication with partners at other end - especially with calls of "tidak and illai". Excellent Bowler and batsmen but is usually disturbed by the alarm clock before the conclusion of the match. Can turn the occasional leg break past the bat, and bowls plenty of mystery balls, though mainly a mystery to himself. From 2003 - 2007 has captained the Exiled Australians, where his talent and captaincy were unmatched - mainly due to being a one man team. Often seen leaving the field as He'd drunk too much tea during the tea break. Also seen reading Vikitan Magazines and impersonating Ranil shemale Wickramsinghe

Got rubbed out by the immigration officers in Singapore for having the wrong coloured forms. Will be stewing his time to make his long awaited debut for the Kandy Team.

Batting Average

	Mat	Runs	HS	Ave	100	50
Tests	0	0	0	0	0	0
ODIS	0	0	0	0	0	0

Bowling Average

	Mat	Runs	Wkts	BBI	Ave	Econ	5w	10
Tests	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
ODIS	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0

Career Statistics

Test debut Exiled Australians XI v Chuu Kollo XI at Brisbane, Nov 5-9, 1999 scorecard
Last Test Veyangoda Railways v Kossala XI at Hobart, Nov 16-20, 2007 scorecard
ODI debut Exiled Australians XI v Pahatharata XI at Faridabad, Oct 25, 1996 scorecard
Last ODI Veyangoda Railways v Prabhahawa's XI, Oct 17, 2007 scorecard

Notes

Only Person to Represent 4 countries at once
Once Batted for 14 hours straight (sleeping fever)
Won the Best and Fairest Aussi living in Veyangoda Award 2003,2004,2005,2006 and 2007

Zaidainas Khan

Full name Zaidinas Nohoth Zaid Khan
Born July 13, 1991,Lahore, Pakistan
Current age 16 years 103 days
Major teams Lahore U-5s, USA U-7s,Lahore Prisoners XI, Muslim Boys of USA XI, Colombo
Nickname Lil Z, Zeebee, King Zaidainas, Zaidos
Playing role batsman
Batting style Right-hand bat
Bowling style Right-arm chinaman
Fielding position fly slip
Height 1.2m

Weight 385 kg

Profile

Zaid is a collection of different cultures. Born in the outskirts of Lahore, he moved to the USA at the age of 7. While in Lahore he developed an early talent for what is now known only as "Block n Slog", where the batsmen will block one ball and slog the other, no matter what. His father, having spotted his talent, quickly enrolled him for the Lahore U-5s and U-5s cricket has not been the same since. Zaid equaled the then world record of most sixes in a match in only his first match using his infamous "Block n Slog" technique.

He is also a strong activist against the PCB and once threatened to bomb the PCB headquarters if they kept picking Mohomad Sami. He was later arrested for these threats and jailed for 2 months. He often spends his time on YouTube these days, uploading short clips of Pakistans glory days in cricket. Zaid also fancies himself a decent rapper and may in fact hit the billboard charts along with his brothers with his group the "LahoreStreet Boys".

Zaid will not be taking part in the first ever Muppets-Jokers series due to the ICC having cut fundings from the Colombo Team due to outbursts by their notoriously outspoken captain, and thus are unable to fund his ticket for the flight over. None the less he has promised that he will be there in spirit and watching the match webcast while enjoying his 500th Pizza to date.

Batting Average

	Mat	Runs	HS	Ave	100	50
Tests	0	0	0	0	0	0
ODIS	0	0	0	0	0	0

Bowling Average

	Mat	Runs	Wkts	BBI	Ave	Econ	5w	10
Tests	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
ODIS	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0

Career Statistics

Test debut Lahore U-5s v Karachchi U-5s at Lahore, Nov 5-9, 1999 scorecard
Last Test Lahore U-5s v Karachchi U-5s at Lahore , Nov 16-20, 2007 scorecard
ODI debut Muslim Boys of USA XI v Jews of USA XI at Central Park,NY, Oct 25, 1996 scorecard
Last ODI Muslim Boys of USA XI v Jews of USA XI at Central Park,NY, 2007 scorecard

Notes

Voted most likely to die of Pizza overload
Revolutioized Cricket with the "Block n Slog" technique
Voted Most Likely to kill a PCB Official
Won the award for the "Most Pissed off Pakistani over their useless Openers" 2000-todate

Nawaseelantha Boy

Full name Nawaseelantha Mudiyanselage NZ Boy
Born July 13, 1983, Colombo
Current age 24 years 103 days
Major teams Photoshop XI, SL association of NZ XI,Colombo
Nickname NZ Boy, Mr Photoshop
Playing role batsman
Batting style Right-hand bat
Bowling style Right-arm medium
Fielding position leg slip
Height 1.8m

Weight 85 kg

Profile

Its reputed that NZ boy had a crayon in his hand when he emerged from his mothers womb. The talent was immediate and his father hooked him up to a PC and installed photoshop and the rest as they say is in the record books. A late starter to cricket NZ boy was at the ripe old age of 3 when he first joined the Photoshop XI. Even then he preferred to draw pictures of his team mates rather than score runs.

He eventually cracked a half century in his 25th game, and managed to do so with bat and (get this) a digital camera in hand. Its rumored that he actually took pictures of his entire innings and made a wall paper out of each run he made.

An asset to any side Boy has promised to take pictures of every second of the matches being played and convert them into Wall Papers for all to enjoy.

Batting Average

	Mat	Runs	HS	Ave	100	50
Tests	0	0	0	0	0	0
ODIS	0	0	0	0	0	0

Bowling Average

	Mat	Runs	Wkts	BBI	Ave	Econ	5w	10
Tests	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
ODIS	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0

Career Statistics

Test debut Photoshop XI v MS Paint XI, Auckland , Nov 5-9, 1999 scorecard
Last Test Photoshop XI v MS Paint XI, ChristChurch , Nov 16-20, 2007 scorecard
ODI debut SL association of NZ XI v Jews of USA XI at ChristChurch, Oct 25, 1996 scorecard
Last ODI SL association of NZ XI v Jews of USA XI at ChristChurch, 2007 scorecard

Notes

Photoshopper of the Year 2000-2005
Photoshop cricketer of the Year 2005
Voted Most Likely "Convert any Image in to a WallPaper"

Pissu Kossa

Full name Pissu Kossa Victor Gunasekera Jr
Born March 21, 1980, Colombo
Current age 27 years 209 days
Major teams Blue Boys XI, Nalanda,Colombo
Nickname Mad Police
Playing role Bowler
Batting style No-hand bat
Bowling style Left-arm Fast
Fielding position third man
Height 1.7m

Weight 85 kg

Profile

Not much is known about Mad Police, though rumor has it that he is Victor Gunasekera's son. When he was 3 years old he took the keys of his father's car and did burn outs in Columbo 7 - hence getting the name 'Mad Police'. He took his agression and Need for Speed Skills onto the cricket field to become one of the meanest fast bowlers this side of the Mahawela Ganga. It could be the way he bowls, or the threats made against the batsmen (i.e. being shot in the night), but he has got bags of wickets for the Blue Boys and Nalanda. When asked by the crew at Crapinfo about his ambitions he is reported to have said "Are you talking to me?" and had been smoking Cuban Cigars (the same sort Chandrika used to smoke). When it comes to batting, Mad Police rallies himself around the white flag and still hasn't quite come to terms that grenades are always green and not red.
When we asked for his comment about the upcoming series he just said "We're gunna smoke them out and keep them running". Captain Kesh also added "Haaa".

Batting Average

	Mat	Runs	HS	Ave	100	50
Tests	0	0	0	0	0	0
ODIS	0	0	0	0	0	0

Bowling Average

	Mat	Runs	Wkts	BBI	Ave	Econ	5w	10
Tests	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
ODIS	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0

Career Statistics

Test debut Sri Lanka Police vs Sri Lanka Army, Nov 5-9, 1999 scorecard
Last Test Sri Lanka Police v Sri Lanka Army, Matara, Nov 16-20, 2007 scorecard
ODI debut Sri Lanka Police & Sri Lanka Army v Prabhahawa's XI at Thoppigala, Oct 25, 1996 scorecard
Last ODI Sri Lanka Police vs Sri Lanka Police at JVP Headquaters, 2007 scorecard

Notes

Top Cop of the Year 2009
Glen McGrath Batting Award 2007-
Most Likely to arrest you Award 2006-

Nuffa Appochchi

Full name Muffdiving Mudiyanselage Nuffa Arakawila Appochchi
Born March 23, 1983, Kurundu Watta
Current age 24 years 209 days
Major teams Montesory XI, Kindergarten XI, Colombo U17,Colombo
Nickname Nuffa-diving,Nuffa,Snuffa
Playing role Batsmen
Batting style Right-Hand bat
Bowling style right-arm Medium
Fielding position He'd rather not field
Height 1.7m

Weight 86 kg

Profile

Nuffa is the epitome of aristocracy. Born to a family of incredible wealth, Nuffa is worth more than several 3rd World countries combined. With a stiff upper lip upbringing, Nuffa spent most of his child hood bullying his neighbors and parents whilst thumping century after century in his backyard. In his first year in Montesory he was picked to play in the Montesory first XI and Nuffa took to thrashing bowlers as good as he was at Nuffa-Diving.

Several years later Nuffa found himself batting 3 for the Kindergarten XI and dismissed every bowler that came his way and once averaged 599.94 in a year.His nimble foot work was noticed by Micheal Flateley and was offered a staring role in Lord of the Prance by Flateley, who was hoping to make a comeback after years of beer drinking. Stage performances aside, Nuffa danced and Nuffa-dived his way to many a century and many a womans bedroom with ease.

Nuffas bowling leaves much to be desired and will be lucky if Captain Kesh even lets him see the ball on the field.Currently he is reported to be in his backyard getting batting practice against his Mom and has high hopes of another ruthless demolishing of the Kandy attack.

Batting Average

	Mat	Runs	HS	Ave	100	50
Tests	0	0	0	0	0	0
ODIS	0	0	0	0	0	0

Bowling Average

	Mat	Runs	Wkts	BBI	Ave	Econ	5w	10
Tests	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
ODIS	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0

Career Statistics

Test debut Montesory 1st XI vs Monstesory 2nd XI, Nov 5-9, 1999 scorecard
Last Test Montesory 1st XI vs Monstesory 2nd XI, Matara, Nov 16-20, 2007 scorecard
ODI debut Kindergarten XI vs CIS XI at The Playground, Oct 25, 1996 scorecard
Last ODI Kindergarten XI vs AIS XI at The Playground, 2007 scorecard

Notes

Nuffa-Diver of the Year 2008
Winner of the "Mohomad Sami award for Lucky Bowlers" 2008
Voted Most Likely to "Not get a bowl" 2007

Ginipuka Sangasan

Full name Ginipuka Sangasan Katunayake Bandaranayke
Born March 23, 1982, Kurundu Watta
Current age 25 years 209 days
Major teams Sri Lanka Army, Kurundu Watta XI,Colombo
Nickname Sanga, Sanga's son, Gini
Playing role Batsmen
Batting style Left-Hand bat
Bowling style Left Arm Chinaman
Fielding position Extra Cover
Height 1.73m

Weight 92 kg

Profile

Since his debut against the Prabhahawa XI, Sanga has never looked back - scoring rapidly and quickly against Prabha's arsenal of claymore mines and grenades. Helped Secure a Famous Victory in Thoppigala when he batted for 15 hours against Arterial bombardment against the opposition. A man for all seasons and all conditions, he recently got selected for the Colombo team after a recommendation by the Sports Minister - despite Asantha saying he still owned him a Lakh. The feature of Sanga's play is his running between the wickets, especially in heavy bullet fire and dispatching leg cutting claymore's for 6. He also plays a brilliant cut shot, but will have to adjust to the M&J Series as Players are required to use a cricket bat to hit the ball and not an Uzi.

The Kandians will need to use every drop of their technical nuise to get his wicket, as he sells it fairly dearly (last price was 2163/= (Admission price for a paradesiyak to Sigirya)).

Its unlikely that Sanga will be required to bowl, but if he does the Kandians will need to have subtitles as he bowls chinamen. LP, not being a Gal Kollek, would rather him bowl maidens.

Sanga will be fielding in the covers, were he loves to have a snipe at the wickets (when not drinking kasippu he is fairly accurate), So Keshi and Boys will need to be backing up his throws very well.

Batting Average

	Mat	Runs	HS	Ave	100	50
Tests	0	0	0	0	0	0
ODIS	0	0	0	0	0	0

Bowling Average

	Mat	Runs	Wkts	BBI	Ave	Econ	5w	10
Tests	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
ODIS	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0

Career Statistics

Test debut Sri Lanka Army vs Prabhahawa XI, Trincomalee Nov 5-9, 1999 scorecard
Last Test Sri Lanka Army vs Prabhahawa XI, Thoppigala, Nov 16-20, 2007 scorecard
ODI debut Sri Lanka Army vs Gal Kollo at The Playground, Oct 25, 1996 scorecard
Last ODI Sri Lanka Army vs Indian Army at Thamizchelvan Pongal, 2007 scorecard

Notes

Best BF1942 Sniper Award, 2005
Fastest Kasippu Drinker in Sri Lankan Army
Rajapasse Award 2006
Most Suspected Action Award 2007

Ishan Maharajah

Full name Devanampiya Tissa Ishan Rajatarajahu Maharajah
Born October 1, 230 BC, Anuradhapura
Current age 2237 years 209 days
Major teams Monolithic Man XI, Gamperaliya, Maha Nuwara (Kandy)
Nickname IshanRulez, Irock, Idabest
Playing role Batsmen
Batting style Left-Hand bat
Bowling style Not Applicable
Fielding position Wicket Keeper
Height 2.33m

Weight 21092 tonne

Profile

Devanampiya Tissa, or better known as Ishan Maharajah, has kept wicket since the foundation of Anuradhapura. He currently holds the record for the most number of runs (despite averaging 5), the most number of wickets (averages at 150 a piece) and the most number of dismissals by a wicket keeper (15 crore 5 Lakh and 2 score 4 and a half). Ishan's batting is an amazing amount of stone walling, and can literally hold up an end for years on end. Once he took 2 years to get off the mark. Ishan has help his team defeat the Chozhaians on numerous occasions, even though the venue had to be shifted from Anuradhapura to Sigiriya because of player saftey concerns. The highlight of his career was immortalised in Anuradhapura as the Sri Maha Bhodi, when he scored his highest score of 1052 runs. After defeating the porteguese in 1505, in which the test match took 6 days to defeat Colombo (lol - idiot Portugeesers), his team finally succumbed to the English Team. Ishan, as the captain, took this defeat very harshly and banished himself to the ruins of Anuradhapura whilst occasionally reminding people on SLcricket.com that he is still ruling in Sri Lanka (i.e. Ishanrulez). This year, he has promised to come out of exile at the command of Kandians (Maha Nuwarawehi sitana janathawa). He has promised vengence to Captain Keshi and the Colombians (though vengence might take years to come).

Batting Average

	Mat	Runs	HS	Ave	100	50
Tests	0	0	0	0	0	0
ODIS	0	0	0	0	0	0

Bowling Average

	Mat	Runs	Wkts	BBI	Ave	Econ	5w	10
Tests	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
ODIS	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0

Career Statistics

Test debut Monolithic Men XI vs Nasty Tamil Invading MMXIII, Jaffna Nov 5-9, 2 Century BC scorecard
Last Test Monolithic Men XI vs England, Kandy, Nov 16-20, 2007 scorecard
ODI debut Yet to Play
Last ODI Yet to Play scorecard

Notes

Best Player of the last 2000 years - Awarded in 2000 AD
Only Player of the last 2000 years still playing - Awarded in 2000 AD
"We think he is made out of stone" - 1507 Portugeesers
Rahul Dravid "The Wall" Award - 3BC - 2007

King Fakir

File:Major-General H.H. Farzand-i-Dilband Rasikh- al-Iqtidad-i-Daulat-i-Inglishia, Raja-i-Rajagan, Maharaja Sir Jagatjit Singh, Bahadur, Maharaja of Kapurthala, GCSI , GCIE , GBE.jpg

Full name Phatharata Nipuna King Fakir Batta
Born Dec 29th 2007, Colombo
Current age -0 Years 14 days
Major teams Colombo Handicapps XI, Colombo Retards XI, Colombo
Nickname Nipuna, Nipuna Batta, Phycho, Retard, Pissu Batta,
Playing role Batsmen
Batting style Both-Hand bat
Bowling style Not Applicable
Fielding position Long on
Height 1.0m

Weight 1 gram

Profile

Orphaned at birth, King Fakir was raised by a bunch of rabbits with rabies. Living on the streets, off crap other people threw away, Nipuna's literacy levels are much to be desired but not his cricketing skills. Nipuna holds the record for being the youngest player, ever, to captain the Retards XI. A middle order batsmen with destructive flare , Fakir plays a devastatingly aggressive game. With a career strike rate of 176,987 (for 30 runs), the King has ended many a bowlers career.

"The King", as he likes to be called, is also, notoriously famous for letting his pie hole run. He was once suspended for 25 years and 259 days after he brutally attacked a player from the Kandy Retards XI, verbally. It is said that the crowd at that ground left after hearing what "The King" dished out, mostly because they did not understand him(most never do). Nipuna is also fond of sniffing white board markers and is commonly referred to as "Physcho" by his team mates. This ugly side of Fakir reared its ugly head, when he once decapitated a spectator after Captain Keshan had jokingly said that he (the spectator) had stolen his markers.

Captain Kesh considers "The King" his left hand man(not what your thinking) and will be relying on Nipunas spontaneously combustible batting style and potty mouth,to keep the runs and the sledges free flwoing in the middle overs.

Batting Average

	Mat	Runs	HS	Ave	100	50
Tests	0	0	0	0	0	0
ODIS	0	0	0	0	0	0

Bowling Average

	Mat	Runs	Wkts	BBI	Ave	Econ	5w	10
Tests	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
ODIS	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0

Career Statistics

Test debut Colombo Handicapps vs Kandy Retards, The Moon Nov 5-9, 2 2008 scorecard
Last Test Colombo Handicapps vs Kandy Retards, The Moon Nov 5-9, 2 2008 scorecard
ODI debut Yet to Play
Last ODI Yet to Play scorecard

Notes

Best Retarded Player in 2000
Inducted to the "Retarded Players Hall of Fame" in 2000
Voted Most likely to "Resemble an Animal" by his team mates
Won the "Boom Boom Afridi award for Strike Rates"

Supun 'D' Man

Full name Bala Bailarappakenek Supun Dilan Man
Born April 16th 1985, Nuwara Eliya
Current age 23 Years 214 days
Major teams Bronx Boys, Nuwara Eliya Backstreet Boys, Kandy
Nickname da Man, Supun D, Supun da man
Playing role Batsmen,Wrapper
Batting style Free Style
Bowling style Like in da hood bro
Fielding position Lyin Down
Height 1.82m

Weight 72 kg

Profile

Supun Da Man, better known as SupunD, grew up in the wild back streets of Nuwara Eliya. According to his Mother, Lalitha Da Mother ******, he was born in a cardboard box at a dance concert marked " Munchee Lemon Puffs". It was here that SupunD learnt very quickly songs like Bhoom Bhoom, Appadi Podu and other songs that inspired him to become a rapper. At the age of 9 he had released his first albumn, featuring a song he sang with Miss Sri Lanka - his second albumn was not so popular, though this could be that it was done with Miss Thailand ( a ladyboy). With his singing career finished, he joined the local cricket team where he made an impact with both the bat and the ball. SupunD's innings have rythmn and beat, at rapper pace and often breaks into a Snoop Dogg Homey G song when he chooses to dance down the wicket.

SupunD's bowling is a mixture of Baila Rap (balai rap?),Hip Hops and Long Hops - After every ball he is reported to yell out "Don't cut me man". Often gets wickets because his gangstar pants keep falling down and shocking the batsmen into trodding on their stumps.

SupunD's fielding is pathetic as he is too busy with his hands in his pockets and groin, Once he was offered a belt to solve his problem, but he wore it around his neck - To which N.Heywood (South Africa) now copies as a tradition.

This year has promised to join the Kandian Crusaiders and have already written the victory song, which sounds absolutely rubbish. We were to ask LP for his comments about SupunD, but he was too busy stuffing his face with KFC chicken and discussing Tactics with Arjuna Ranatunga.

Batting Average

	Mat	Runs	HS	Ave	100	50
Tests	0	0	0	0	0	0
ODIS	0	0	0	0	0	0

Bowling Average

	Mat	Runs	Wkts	BBI	Ave	Econ	5w	10
Tests	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
ODIS	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0

Career Statistics

Test debut Nuwara Eliya Backstreet Boys vs German Tourists, Meegamuwa Mar 5-9, 2 2007 scorecard
Last Test Nuwara Eliya Backstreet Boys vs Colombo 7 Dishum Boys, Vihara Maha Devi Park Dec 1-4, 2007 scorecard
ODI debut Yet to Play
Last ODI Yet to Play

Notes

Best Albumn Award 1992
Worst Albumn Award 1993
Won the 'We wish you were a mute' award 2001,2002,2003,2004
ST*U Award 2006

Meetup invitation: Melbourne 26

Hi there! You are cordially invited to a meetup next Sunday (6 January). Details and an attendee list are at Wikipedia:Meetup/Melbourne 26. Hope to see you there! John Vandenberg 05:37, 27 December 2012 (UTC)

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