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I am slowly recovering from my second major depressive episode of this year. I'm still addicted to reading Wikipedia, but I don't have the energy or motivation to do much either online or in real life right now. That fact coupled with frequent therapy sessions means that I will be only partially active on Wikipedia for the foreseeable future. Please forgive me if I do not promptly respond to your message. I promise to get back to you, eventually. Thank you for your support and understanding.

Please send your thoughts and prayers to Editor at Large, who is going through some difficult times of her own.

File:Purple question mark.gif This user is currently on editor review. You may comment about her edits at Wikipedia:Editor review/Tachikoma.
Welcome to my talk page!


Messages from January 2006 - July 2006
Messages from August 2006 - September 18, 2006
Messages from September 19, 2006 - October 15, 2006
Messages from October 16, 2006 - October 29, 2006
Messages from October 29, 2006 - November 4, 2006
Messages from November 5, 2006 - November 14, 2006

I love seeing that little bar that says "You have new messages."

I do ask that you follow some guidelines when leaving me a message:

1. Please be civil.

2. If I am not directly involved in a conversation, please keep your comments to your respective talk pages. Failing to do so may be seen as vandalism, and dealt with accordingly.

3. If you have said something on this page that you shouldn't have, and I have already read the message, don't try to delete it or hide it. It will still be present in the page history, and I will surely find out. Trying to delete or hide comments after I have seen them is like trying to hide evidence that others have already seen, and it suggests that you are being less than honest.

4. Please sign your messages by typing ~~~~ or by using the edit toolbar. The automated signature button is the one to the right of the crossed out "W".

If I feel that a response is needed, I will do my best to reply within 24 hours. If you expect a response and you haven't heard from me, please tell me.

Please understand if I do not respond immediately. Also please be understanding if I do not answer your message in the order that it was received.

I will ordinarily answer on your talk page, unless requested to do otherwise. Thank you!

Kyoko

Apology.

[edit]

Accepted, I forgive you. Will (Glaciers melting in the dead of night) 11:01, 5 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Re:mood

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Thanks for the kind message, Kyoko! You're right, and that's one of the contributing factors to my -8 mood... but the other is something I think you're only too familiar with. Let me just say I understand what you went through and admire your strength :-) — Editor at Large(speak) 11:38, 5 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]

No worries. Thrice attempted, never succeeded. My logical self has come to realise that it's not the best solution to problems! — Editor at Large(speak) 22:55, 5 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]
Then let me be proof that not succeeding is the best way to go! — Editor at Large(speak) 23:04, 5 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]
Understandably so. Though meds may help a little you have to fix what's inside your head and what is lodged within your memories and feelings -- no medicine can fix that. I'm still working on it, not on meds yet... things are getting worse, though (stress), so I think I'll be going to a doctor sometime soon. I'd like to be better!
In the meantime, Kyoko, keep your chin up... you're a source for inspiration :-)— Editor at Large(speak) 23:15, 5 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]
You're nice to people -- disregarding your other talents, is that not inspirational enough? And it might sound strange, but congrats for admitting what you did. It's hard, but sometimes it helps... so far I've only told one person in real life, whom I shouldn't have (he was the cause of my third). There's somebody else I could tell, but I love her too much to leave that weight on her shoulders! Friends are there to support you, but sometimes you just appreciate them too much to burden them with some things. It depends on the person, of course: she just doesn't react well to other people's stress. She gets in a worse condition than they do, sometimes.
P.S. You asked me to review you already... on my birthday :-p I'm working on it! — Editor at Large(speak) 00:03, 6 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]
Don't worry about it. Boys will be boys... I'm just a little miffed that they brought it to my talk page. I think I'll complain to their higher-up and see what happens. Cryptic, I know, but it's not a problem. No worries!
And besides, it's nothing compared to the lovely lively discussion you had going on here a little while ago... — Editor at Large(speak) 00:35, 6 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]
LOVE!

Hope you're better soon... I'm rooting for you :-) — Editor at Large(speak) 23:16, 7 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Editing to add: I'm available to talk... just e-mail me. I'm a good listener, really. — Editor at Large(speak) 23:18, 7 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Smile!

[edit]

---- Bearly541 talk 21:03, 5 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]

You're welcome. Have you ever tried to go on a trip to the mountains, or go to an open field, or to Arizona (for mountain climbing) in order to release your pain and frustrations by yelling? Or, have you ever started writing poems about how you feel, and tear them up? I did that when I was depressed, and it helped me so much, along with faith in God. I am only trying to help, and I hope you feel better. ---- Bearly541 talk 01:45, 6 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]

November Esperanza Newsletter

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For your reading pleasure, the newest Esperanza newsletter (November '06 edition) can be found at Wikipedia:Esperanza/Newsletter. —Natalya, Banes, Celestianpower, EWS23, FireFox, The Halo, Shreshth91 and HighwayCello, 20:33, 1 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Re:Edit day

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He he, funny story about that: I was at my grandparents' on the week-end celebrating my birthday (it was on Friday and I was there on Sunday), and went on the computer while they were fixing up the cake. I looked up something on this Wikipedia site I'd been hearing about, noticed (somehow) that there were pages for some of the Mayors of Ottawa missing, and started on J.P. Featherston's page. So my first edit is a new article, when I was supposed to be celebrating my birthday! — Editor at Large(speak) 02:52, 6 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]

You helped choose Environmentalism as this week's WP:AID winner

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Thank you for your support of the Article Improvement Drive.
This week Environmentalism was selected to be improved to featured article status.
Hope you can help.

AzaBot 18:41, 6 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Editor review

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Thanks very much for your editor review, it was much appreciated. However, just as a matter of curiosity, how many edits do you normally make a day? Atlantis Hawk 04:44, 7 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]

To my friend Kyoko

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For being my friend and all that goes with it,
I, $PЯINGεrαgђ, give you this cream tart. Enjoy!
You've been through a lot, Kyoko,
and even though I've given this to almost all my friends,
and even though they all deserve this,
you deserve it in a special way.
You may have helped me more than any of my other friends,
especially when you succeeded in an endeavour,
and even when you have failed,
I have learned from you. I am proud to call you a true friend.

See you soon, I hope

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Christ, I feel pathetically inadequate to say anything, but if you think the medicine isn't working that is definitely the right move. It is good that you had such presence of mind, and did not resort to more drastic action. Anyway, I hope that whatever the problem is it soon gets fixed, and we'll see you back here again quickly. Good luck! Cheers, Moreschi 23:09, 7 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Ditto to that - I do hope things improve, and you start feeling better! All the best out there, -- Natalya 17:25, 8 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Co-workers

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I can understand you perfectly when you say this. Once, I was absent from school for a week, and some idiot started a rumor that I had leukemia... Well, you can basically imagine how that turned out. Fredil 02:56, 8 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]

I visited Wikipedia:Esperanza/A just after I posted this. Quote: "...getting harder and harder to pretend that I'm fine when I'm really not. I'm sorry for not being stronger. The last sentence sounds like a joke, no offence. Rarely do people even have a fraction of your strength (me being an exception, though my strength is not even close to yours). Wishing you well, I'm signing off for another night. Fredil 03:15, 8 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Medicine Collaboration of the Week

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Thank you for your support of the Medicine Collaboration of the Week.
This week Crohn's disease was selected.
Hope you can help…

NCurse work 14:58, 8 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Hi Kyoko

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If you're online now and you read this, hi Kyoko. Hope you feel much better soon. I'll check Editor-at-Large out. Itsmejudith 22:36, 8 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Hope you get to feeling better.-- Seadog 01:43, 9 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]
Hope you are feeling better soon! Praying for you, sweety! I didn't know that you speak French? Je paravu francais...that's all I know. :-). Bearly451 talk 02:15, 9 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]
Hi Kyoko. I just happend upon what you said on Spring's talk page, and I just wanted to tell you that my heart goes out to you. I know understand that it must be really hard for you right now. Just remember that my wishes go out to you, and I hope you're okay my friend. Thε Halo Θ 12:11, 9 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]
You bet. :) —  $PЯINGrαgђ  Always loyal! 19:57, 9 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]
From me too, get well soon. Will (message ) 21:30, 9 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]
Good to see you're in a place where people are taking care of you. All the best, and I hope you get better soon. riana_dzasta 07:22, 10 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]
Get well soon! Randfan 19:56, 12 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]

A Rose for You

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To let you know that we love you and we miss you. And, we hope you get well soon! Bearly451 talk 04:15, 10 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]

I am praying for you

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You and E@L are in my prayers. I just wanted you to know. Get better soon! --Jayron32 04:19, 10 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Hello, about Editor at Large

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Hello. I'm trying to figure out what's happened to Editor at Large. It's seeming to me that she was sexually abused, but I don't wanna start any rumors. Someone asked me to talk to you, they thought you might know something. I understand you might not be on in a while, and I hope you feel better. But I'd appreciate a reply ASAP. Thanks. DoomsDay349 04:45, 10 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]

I understand how she might not want to talk about this. Unfortunately, it seems like it can easily be guessed as to what's happened. I'm fine with keeping this between us, if you'd like, and erasing all contact about E@L from our talk pages. I'll ask E@L if she wants to talk, if she ever comes back, but if she doesn't, rest assured I'll respect her. DoomsDay349 20:54, 10 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]
Whoa, whoa, whoa! I believe you misconstrued my intention. I was only saying if you didn't want this recorded (well, it'd be in history but at least it would be more difficult to find) I would have no qualms with you taking this off your talk page, and I would do the same to mine. Only if you requested it. Guess I wasn't clear enough. Sorry! DoomsDay349 21:09, 10 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]
Is cool :). Let me know when you get that e-mail (or, perhaps, depending on what it says, don't). DoomsDay349 21:13, 10 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]
Hi, I recently (today, actually) heard whats happening with you and the E@L, and I feel sorry for both of you. I haven't gone throught this, but I still know that both of you are sources of admiration and courage. Feel better soon! Post Scriptum: I'm going to get you something right now. Randfan 21:22, 10 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]
Okay, here you go.
File:Teddy bear.JPG
I read how you still like teddies, too, so thought you may like it! Best wishes! :) Randfan 21:24, 10 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]

The futility of life

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Life just isn't working out for me. Just when you think you can trust it, it stabs you in the back and emotions twist the knife in deeper. "....Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player that struts and frets his hour on the stage..." This statement is just too descriptive. Quote my parents: "Your mood is incorrect." I can feel what I want. My mood is up to me to decide, and you can't do anything about it. What don't they get about that!!? Life is futile and pointless, and though it may be happy for some, there is no purpose for existence. We are all flawed, and we cannot help it and do not realize it until the day humanity is ended. There is a fatal flaw in life, and I feel powerless and trapped, and even though I respect the fact that I have these flaws as well, they seem to lunge at me more than others.

Please give me some advice. Fredil 02:12, 11 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Survey Q

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Have you ever been to the southern hemisphere? reply here. Deadline is December 15. AstroBoy 02:13, 11 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]

A Flower For You

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A Bright Spot in a Dim World

Wishing you well and reminding you that we are all here for you. --teh tennisman 03:09, 11 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Feeling Better?

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Glad to see that you're recovering. I hope you feel yourself again soon! It looks like Editor at Large has stated that she recently became very depressed, but then again you probably know that, and hasn't explained her userpage...which is self-explanatory. If she's feeling good enough to respond, that's a good sign. Hope she'll be back soon. In any case, hope you get better soon!

DoomsDay349 16:49, 11 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Meh. My smiles never format right for some reason. I'll try to fix it... I don't want to appear like I'm pressuring E@L, I just feel really bad and want to know what's happened. Maybe I'll e-mail her with well-wishes or something. See ya! (the smile formatter as best I could get it) DoomsDay349 17:03, 11 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Hey there! :)

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I'm so, so glad to see you're feeling better! Even a little better... As for the update to your userpage... now, I don't know much French, but I'm pretty sure the first sentence translates to "My history is an empty shell". I know that can't be true. Some wonderful things must have happened to you at some point, to help you become the beautiful person you are now! I've had some rough times in the past (things I don't think about if I can help it), but, I don't know. Whatever doesn't kill you, and all that. Things often suck, but the thing is to live as though the good things outweigh the bad. Even if they don't. We're only given this one chance, and I intend to fight for my right to be happy :) Take care, and e-mail's open, should you need it. riana_dzasta 17:20, 11 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Well, your userpage is on my watchlist, so I just clicked 'last' :) As for my mood - I'm great, you don't need to worry about me. riana_dzasta 17:43, 11 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]
Glad that you are feeling better! Can't wait until you come back to Wiki, so that we can have a "Welcome back to Wiki, Kyoko!" party! Bearly451 talk 01:26, 12 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]
You are most welcome, as always. I hope things continue to improve! -- Natalya 06:02, 12 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Pathetic...

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I still get 3194.490490754182 on WP:TEST!? Fredil Shadows of Darkness 01:40, 12 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]

You okay?

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Hey Kyoko! I hope you feel better soon. Your health is what's most important! I hope to be wikifriends with you, and once again, get well soon! ¡Adios! Kyo cat(Talk) 01:48, 12 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Hi

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I am glad you are back and feeling well, we all missed you. I hope that User:E@L gets to feeling better also. Take care, and thanks for your supportive words.-- Seadog 02:20, 12 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Award

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The Original Barnstar
What you have been through latly with life and deppression I award you this barnstar. Even though I realize that words will never be enough I hope my actions will at least make you smile.

Thank you for being such a friendly user, the ability to keep your cool here on wikipedia and be one of the nicest people I have met on wikipedia while dealing with your stress is beyond belief. This is why I award you this Barnstar.-- Seadog 06:15, 12 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]

After all this you deserve it! -- >HeWho ComesWith TheDawn ! !<

E@L support barnstar

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The Random Acts of Kindness Barnstar
Though what you did is not so random, I, on behalf of E@L, award you this barnstar for your support. Randfan 18:34, 12 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]







Thanks!

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Thanks, Kyoko for all of your help for the Esperanza links and the tags. I am glad that you and E@L are feeling better! Have a great day!Bearly541 talk 21:03, 12 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]

It works! Thanks! Bearly541talk 22:36, 12 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]
Okay, NOW it works! Bearly541talk 22:41, 12 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks for giving me the idea about the user page. Mine now looks, "tada!" instead of "blah." Bearly541 00:45, 13 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Hi Kyoko :)

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Hi Kyoko, glad to see you, and I'm happy to see you're feeling okay enough to come on wikipedia. I try to keep my correspondance down these days, as some editors said as was a bit too social on my rfa, but I can't not talk to my friends, especially in times of trouble. When you get back on the wiki full time, maybe I'll stop my self-imposed ban on editing user talk pages, and we can have a nice long chat :) And, I hope that you get better really soon. You're too good a person for this to be happening to. As always, my thoughts are with you, and if you need anything, please, leave me a message on my talk or by email. I'm always here. Warm wishes, Thε Halo Θ 14:54, 12 September 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Glad You're Back.

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Hi! I've just violated my Wikibreak (User:Ed/Statement) to tell you how happy I am to hear that you seem to be feeling much better! I've been watching different discussion pages all across Wikipedia (especially Esperanza), and was surprised to hear about E@L and her condition. Anyway, nice to see you're coming back (or at least partially returning), although that is not the case for me...returning to Wikibreak--Ed ¿Cómo estás? 17:10, 12 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Welcome back Kyoko! I hope you and E@L are doing better. Well I guess you guys kinda haveta be if your reading this. -- >HeWho ComesWith TheDawn ! !<
I think I need to give you a smiley. Can you wait a few seconds? -- >HeWho ComesWith TheDawn ! !<


For everything. -- >HeWho Comes With TheDawn ! !<

day off

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Hi, Kyoko. You've heard from me earlier today (if you were on). And I just wanted you to know that I care for you, again. I've decided to take the wikiday off to be with you and E@L (it's not like anything differents gonna happen with my edits :)). Get well soon, if you're not already*. Randfan 21:52, 12 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]

*Earlier I thought you were okay but now I'm not so sure because you haven't been on. Anyways, feel better (you cannot ever be too happy, right? No matter what your current mood/condition)

You're welcome

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You're welcome, any time. Just let me know. —  $PЯINGrαgђ  Always loyal! 21:57, 12 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Ditto. Thank you. If you need anything from me just tell me, and then I'll fail miserably and disappoint you. :) Just kiddin'. Randfan 22:13, 12 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]


Have a piece of pie

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Have a piece of pie to celebrate! Randfan 22:16, 12 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Re:Glad you're back

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Thanks! I'm working on a message for you, don't worry :-)— Editor at Large(speak) 23:36, 12 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Nice to hear from you again

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And E@L is back in communication, thank goodness. I hope you're getting top-quality care. It does seem to be a problem that the very medications that are supposed to relieve depression can themselves cause suicidal feelings. In the long run it seems that talking cures are most effective, but it does take time and they do not always work. I'm sure you're right to think about recovering step by step. I find if I am low - also when I'm not - it is good to read the Tao Te Ching but many people just find it annoying. Today I planted out some flowering bushes that I got very cheap from a supermarket. A rose (pink - "Queen of England"), two lilacs, an ornamental ribes and another whose name I forget, with white flowers. I don't expect them to flower next spring, perhaps the year after if I'm lucky. You need to stick around and I'll let you know. The weather is weird at the moment in England. There are summer flowers still in bloom and spring ones as well. Perhaps we won't get a winter this year. But I heard it had already snowed in Canada. Take lots of care of yourself. Itsmejudith 23:41, 12 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Survey Q

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Yeah, the Phillipines are in the southern hemisphere.

Survey Q

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Yeah... well... um... Cause I've never been to the southern hemisphere and one day, I decided to do a survey to see how many people have been to the southern hemisphere. Oh yeah, my friend came from the Phillipines (don't ask me for his name. Please.) AstroBoy 00:17, 13 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]


Man, you are lucky. Have you ever gazed up at the stars in the southern hemisphere? The skies there are clearer, and there's more intresting deep-sky objects in the southern skies than in the dull, boring northern skies. AstroBoy 00:24, 13 November 2006 (UTC) P.S, Next time, please leave your comments at the bottom of my talk page. I can easily overlook new messages.[reply]

Well of course, Tokyo is a city, not a prarie. You can't see the stars when you got too much Light pollution. AstroBoy 00:34, 13 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]

light pollution equals
astronomical interference.

it seems reasonable that you would put your messages under the Survey Q portion, so I moved it down to the bottom. AstroBoy 00:38, 13 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]

mount rainier

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You know, my family has been planning to go there.AstroBoy 00:40, 13 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]











Thank you so much

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Thank you so much for your support!

I can't say thank you enough for the support that you have shown me over the past few days. It means the world to me, and has certainly helped me along the road to recovery! I will cherish forever the kind messages and "gifts" that were sent to me and think of them whenever times are rough.

I didn't realise that my absence would cause so much concern, and I apologise if I caused anyone undue stress. I feel that I owe you an explanation, at least! for what happened, to return in some small way the kindness you showed to me. I will post it here as soon as possible, if you would like to know the reason for my brief departure and the links on my userpage.


Kyoko, I can't say thank you enough for the support you've shown me over the past few days. With you there to talk to and knowing that you were here to support me while I was gone, I recovered far quicker than I ever could have alone. You have no idea how much your kind words and messages meant to me!

Thank you also for acting on my behalf to inform others about what was going on with me. I really, truly appreciate the effort involved, especially when you take into account the circumstances!

Much love,

Editor at Large(speak)

01:51, 13 November 2006 (UTC)


Yes, I don't like templates (so impersonal!) but I'm giving everyone a personal message so I figure it's okay. I will also be changing the explanation part from future to past tense soon, and it's easier if it's not subst'd. Really, though, I hate templates for people when they aren't personal! Argh! — Editor at Large(speak) 02:10, 13 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]
Exactly. See, yours is what convinced me to do a template: I loved it, so I figured other people might like mine too :-) P.S. What's the link to your template? I'll fix it for you if you like, it takes about two seconds.Editor at Large(speak) 02:24, 13 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]
Okay, I think I fixed it. Now, if you type what I wrote at the bottom and put your text in it should show up. If you don't put any text it should show up how it appears at the top. I'm pretty sure it works fine :-) — Editor at Large(speak) 03:50, 13 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Funny. Glad your back guys! Randfan 02:14, 13 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]

great day

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Today's such a magnficent day! You and E@L are back! HOORAY! E@L has a page showing how happy I am for you guys (it's a link on her page labeled YEAH!!!!, or something ike that). Glad you guys are back. And sorry for showing her more attention than you. If you want I'll give you some (but you'll have to wait 'til tomorrow, I'm tired and goin' to bed now. Long (but good) day!) --Randfan 02:14, 13 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]

ARCAID=Islam

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You helped choose Islam as this week's WP:AID winner

[edit]
Thank you for your support of the Article Improvement Drive.
This week Islam was selected to be improved to featured article status.
Hope you can help.

Dev920 13:10, 13 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Welcome back!

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Welcome back! I am glad to see your return, and hope that this rose can help to lighten you up. I have never experienced the horrors of depression, but I know what it can be like. kudos to you for having the strength to live through this horrible time. --teh tennisman 21:46, 13 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]

To lighten up your darkness, now and forever.--teh tennisman 21:46, 13 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]
No problem, ever. --teh tennisman 22:06, 13 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]
Oh, and Randfan said to say Hi! --teh tennisman 22:43, 13 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Hello!

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I noticed your edits to your userpage, and obviously you're feeling down. I noticed you said "I hate myself". Never hate yourself! You're a great person, you just have some medical issues. I know that you are a kind and fantastic person, and on no account should you, or anyone else, hate you. Please, please, don't do anything drastic. Feel better!

DoomsDay349 01:13, 14 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]


Ok, just wanted to make sure. I watch a lot of people's pages for no apparent reason and yours happens to be one of them. DoomsDay349 01:22, 14 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Don't.

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Don't hate yourself, you're not a bad person and you haven't done anything wrong to deserve this. It just happens to people. You don't deserve it. Fredil Shadows of Darkness 01:14, 14 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]

You're right. But if you say that, you don't know me that well. I've done a lot of things that I'm not proud of... Fredil Shadows of Darkness 23:21, 15 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]

MT RAINIER

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U went there? did u go skiing? AstroBoy 04:09, 14 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Pikachu

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Kyoko, what does Pikachu mean? I always wanted to know what that means, and I just need help in finding that answer! Bearly541 23:56, 14 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]