User talk:Ktmodi/sandbox
Peer Review by Hye Won Yoon
[edit]--> Area: Healthy San Francisco & Sector: Community Health Centers in the United States
General comment for both Area and Sector: I really like how it's organized. It is clear and easy to see. I especially liked how you started with the key ideas. I think it's a good introduction to those who don't know a lot about your article. It provides a brief summary of what to expect, giving a good grasp of the article. So definitely keep that! While I do get your point of bolded sentences, it might be better to just keep them unbolded.
Comments for Area: I see that for [2] citation, you have used the Healthy San Francisco's website - correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought we said we can't really use the organization's website because it might be biased, because they are presenting about themselves. For the 'History' section, I like how you smoothly connect the implementation of Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act and how people got affected by these. The structure is clear; however, it would be better if you were to add a sentence or two at the beginning of a paragraph, for example, how Obama administration came in place in 2008 and how his administration worked way through to pass Patient Protection and ACA. It doesn't have to be super specific - just brief enough so that the transition could be even more smoother!
For the 'Reception' section, again, clearly written and providing positive viewpoints from people who have benefitted from the program. However, this section could be a lot better if you are able to find other sources that talks about some challenges people had to face while in the program, or unintended negative impacts so that the article can reflect various perspectives to be represented. If not, this section would seem like you are trying to convince the reader to accept one particular point of view, which is that people's experience with Health San Francisco has been excellent (which we hope so, but sometimes there are unexpected challenges as well).
Comments for Sector: For this part, I liked how you provided two sides - how patients, if they were to use community health centers, would get high quality of care but also at the same time, these patients often don't voluntarily go own their own because of their socioeconomic status. So it definitely provides pros and challenges. Since you only had one section written for the sector article so far, this is all I have to say for right now, but adding some more case studies at these community health centers might be helpful in elaborating backing up your arguments. Good job! Serendipity305 (talk) 20:33, 2 November 2017 (UTC)
Peer Review by Precious
[edit]General
I love how you outline the key ideas of your Area & Sector articles. As a reader, I was able to ponder on those topics as I read your summary & synthesis.
Area
For the "history" portion, you do a great job of highlighting striking statistics to paint a picture of the implications of our healthcare system in San Francisco.
If it is not included in the current Wikipedia article, perhaps you can explore the key differences between the Affordable Care Act, Medicaid & Healthy San Francisco. This will be very valuable information to readers that want to better understand their benefits.
Sector
How do patients who use community health centers have a more positive patient experience?
On top of that question, it would be great to see you expand on how exactly the quality of care at community health centers is comparable to the quality care provided by private physicians.
Lastly, your synthesis will be stronger if you can show the number of patients that do not see a primary care physician nationally & in San Francisco.