User talk:Ksundaramurthy/sandbox
Response to Peer Reviews
[edit]Thanks so much to Alyssa and Anna for the peer reviews! I've been working to develop the YMCA section more, as well as finding many more sources for the African American Culture page. These were really helpful in both validating the direction of my project, as well as for having things to work on from now. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Ksundaramurthy (talk • contribs) 22:55, 6 December 2017 (UTC)
Alyssa's Peer Review
[edit]You mentioned that At-risk students is quite-developed but they lack on information about YMCA. So maybe just have a little bit more info on YMCA regarding its reputation/long-standing history as you mentioned on your article evaluation if possible.
quick very minor grammar mistake: --> Turfing is a** dance form --> Risk factors are** associated with…
i thought there’s one big paragraphs for each sections but most of them are just citations. There’s very brief summary/synthesis that you have and also for easy reading, you can include a reference section by itself and on your sentences, insert link of the citations you did so it can have that number at the end of the sentence and when u click it, it directs you to where it’s at on the reference list.
The citations are legit and have neutral information/doesn't have any biases so its good!!. it doesn't draw conclusions/try to convince the reader to accept one particular point of view, so its great that you giving out facts. Your facts are clear, straight to the point and not redundant.
Peer Review - Anna Marshall
[edit]East Bay
[edit]I think your sentence is a nice addition that increases the value of this section of the article, Its short but nicely written and adds needed information.
African American- dance
[edit]This paragraph is well written and your source is goos, It is nicely balanced. The only thing is that i think you need at least one other source on this information. While your previous addition in the east bay article also only has one source, it is a short and simple statement. This addition is linger and has much more information that would be good to verify against multiple backgrounds.
At Risk students
[edit]First, the set up of this section in your sandbox is a little confusing. You should cite your sources with numbers and include the full citation at the bottom of the page. But apart from this I think these sentences are well thought out and well written especially your last addition under the poverty section: risk factors. your sources are reliable and your word choices convey an unbiased addition. The content of these additions is neutral, as it should be.
Overall really good job and well thought out! I think your proposed additions fall in line with all of wikipedias outlines and will bring further value to the articles you are editing.